So, I've worked for this company for nearly 3 years. A year and a half ago I moved to a different town and the company kept me on remotely. At first I was doing tasks that reoccurred weekly/monthly, which was great because I never had to worry about what I'm supposed to be doing. A couple months ago, they switched my tasks entirely and it threw me for a pretty big loop. I found myself having trouble balancing the inconsistent tasks.

About a month ago, my boss called me nearly screaming at me about an item that did not go out on time. He threatened me with my employment and made it very clear that he did not think I was an asset to the company any longer. My boss has never been very great with communication and usually only communicates when there is negative feedback. For me, this is very problematic and I dread talking to him so having him yell at me was absolutely terrifying. The next morning, I called another manager and let her know what I was feeling.

After this, communication was still very broken and tasks were still falling behind. A couple days ago I was finally terminated by my confrontational boss. To me it seemed mutual that it just wasn't working out anymore and it was mainly my problems that caused it. As of today, my paycheck is now a day late, which concerned me because they are automatically deposited by the payroll company. I emailed an employee in charge about my missing paycheck and in response, I received an email from my confrontational boss asking me to contact him.

At this point, I cannot mentally prepare myself to talk to him. I know the situation will get emotional and confrontational and I fear they are leaving me no choice. It usually happens that he is alone when these confrontations happen, thus leaving it as hearsay. I fear that if I call him, I will have no record of the confrontation and that I will not be treated with respect and dignity. How do I tell him that I want any communication in regards to my termination to be written and not verbal?

TLDR; I have a very confrontational boss that has terminated my employment and would rather call me than email me in regards to my termination, even though it will cause unnecessary conflict and it will be off the record. How do I tell him that I want communication about my termination to be written and not verbal to avoid confrontation?

- Oh gosh, I can't stand office politics. I was in a situation where I was having issues with my boss. She always said something was my fault and that her ideas were the "only" way. I would get in trouble for talking to a co-worker about non-related work things for 5 minutes, but she could talk to her co-worker for an hour. In other words, she was a hypocrite and stubborn, and she got away with it.

Unfortunately, talking to your boss is pointless. He won't listen to you. The only other option at this point is to talk to HR. You may be lucky in that HR will actually help you. But, it all depends on office politics.

Now, if HR refuses to help you with the pay check problem, that would be illegal. You would contact the state labor department for that. You could also complain about the company's employees, but they may not take any action on that.

Did he ask for you to go to the office to talk? If not then email him back that he can email you what he says he wants to talk about. It's easier to plainly see what's going on in email replies, and even if you get emotional you can edit your reply before you send it to be more professional.

If he wants to talk in person ask if meeting at a cafe or the like is an option. It's in public and he's going to cause a scene if he yells. Plus since you are no longer employed you would have the option to stand up and leave should he become belligerent. You can also bring along a sound recorder to record your conversation and it covers your bases if he flat out does anything to not help you resolve your paycheck issue.

but who knows maybe now that you aren't there helping he's reconsidering your employment status?

Unfortunately, I work for a company with less than 20 employees so there is no HR department.

He usually means a phone conversation because I live 4 hours away. I definitely want to keep it in email, I'm just not sure how to word that without him saying that I have to call him.

I'd just email him back that if he wants to talk to you email is the only form you want to deal with because you are no longer in his employ. That he needs to inform you about getting your last pay or you'll go to, I think it's labor board about being paid properly? (or find out what you need to talk to about it, maybe it's employment security for your state? If nothing else they should be able to help you get info of who to talk to about reviewing records of pay or something...

but yes since you are NOT his employee you can ask for him to correspond via email.

Well, I just emailed him... I feel so nervous about how he's going to respond. But then again, I guess things can't get much worse can they? Lol.

Well, I just emailed him... I feel so nervous about how he's going to respond. But then again, I guess things can't get much worse can they? Lol.

Yeah not much worse can happen you are already out of a job after all. And what can he do? Threaten you? If he did that it'd be trouble for him and I'm sure he's aware of that. And denying you your last paycheck, even if it was 15 minutes of work, is illegal and the news would love to hear of a company not giving proper payments...

Apparently they're awaiting copies of all my files so that if I need to purchase a thumb drive and ship it, they can properly reimburse me on my paycheck. Idk, I just want my money so I can get past this emotional roller coaster of losing a job.

What the fuck? They want you to send them files to determine if you should BUY THEM a flash drive to place the files upon? How many hours would you say they owe you for? Plus cost of a flash drive if you needed it?

i'd see about calling your unemployment office or going in to talk to them (the actual unemployment in your city) about this because as far as I know since you are not an employee it's their job to supply you the drive to copy the files onto and send back to them, not you spending your own cash to do this.

Also that's a pile of shit if I've heard one. Sure they need their files, but if you send them via email or whatever method they use to have them then after that it's up to them to handle it/ determine if you sent all the work. Stick to your ground and DON'T spend money on a thing for them.

Well since it's been so long, I have a lot of files that it's pretty much almost necessary for a flash drive. Checked my folder and it's almost 7GB of work. They would pay me for the flash drive and shipping if it was needed, but our cloud has enough space so they don't have to. At this point now though, if they refuse to pay me, they have no reason to because they now have everything they could possibly need.

Do you have to keep a record to submit to them of hours worked? or is it pay based on files kind of thing?

IF you have to do a flash drive (which now I'd suggest) I'd say to them "hey I'll get the drive set up and files onto it if you'll meet me at x place with my final check and we will swap". Bring a friend along to make it seem as though you guys will head to lunch after you meet up with the bossman, because that shouldn't take more than a few minutes of him giving you the check and him being able to check the flash drive on a computer he should bring with him, or whomever he sends in his place.

I'd push hard for the I'll swap your data for my last check though.

It's based on hours worked, so they've already technically paid for these files because most of them are from before this last November. My boss is being oddly compliant now, they probably just want to make sure that they have everything before I run off and delete everything.

- Oh, that sucks. Well, I hope your boss continues to be compliant and gives you the paycheck without any more struggle.