So I live with my boyfriend and his family. For years it has been full of silly rules here ie if you make or buy something to eat, you have to make/buy it for everyone. Uhm no, I'm not making everyone in the house a sandwich when I want one, or making a full breakfast for everyone when I just want two boiled eggs, or getting everyone in the house something at McDonald's when I go. It's just not happening. If someone wants something to eat, they can buy it or make it themselves. It's not my place to feed them. Not to mention that the rule doesn't apply to her or her oldest son, because every single day they get home from work and cook themselves something to eat or come home with leftovers from eating out they sure don't make/buy any for anyone else.

His mom is the main problem here. She's very manipulative and loves to get her way no matter what. Just a few months ago she threatened to get me fired from work (we work together and she has been there longer so apparently she can, and I quote, snap her fingers and have me gone, unquote) because I said I was going to call the cops on her son for letting a 13 year old girl smoke weed with him. So apparently I was the one in the wrong and her son did absolutely nothing wrong! She said, "You don't threaten my family!" Uhm, first of all it wasn't a threat like I was going to kill him and, second of all, yes, yes I do "threaten" him when he's a 30 year old man smoking weed with 13 year old girls. It's fucking disgusting.

On another issue, out of the kindness of our (mine and my boyfriend's) hearts, we started paying for groceries in the house two years ago (because his parents refuse to provide food for their family). We quit last month because his mom said she would rather have $150 in rent than us pay for groceries, so we started paying rent instead of buying groceries for the house. Now she's saying she wants the rent money PLUS grocery money (like we're obligated to buy everyone food). I obviously refused and told her she could pick which one she wants, money or food, and she started foaming at the mouth screaming saying we're not allowed to eat the food they buy anymore and we have to pay them for the toilet paper we use (which is something that just kinda came out of the blue, because that's totally not even relevant to us buying groceries) and later on she changed her mind to say that if we don't pay rent AND buy groceries for 4 other people to eat, then she's gonna kick us out.

On top of this, she's just a bad person. She doesn't care about her kids the way she should, acting apathetic to their problems. She treats my boyfriend like he's a fucking child. Every time me and him get into an argument, she blames it on me. She's the kind of person who treats you nice and butters you up but then behind your back she talks shit about you. I'm tired of this spoiled bitch but there's nothing I can do about it because we don't have the money to live on our own right now, I fear that if I take an argument too far she'll get me fired from work, and I don't want to disrespect her because it may put mine and my boyfriend's relationship in jeapardy.

What am I supposed to do?

Can't you guys move out?

That situation is always difficult. The mother always wins. Whether your boyfriend agrees with her or not. They already have that bond, so you guys are both under his crazies mothers rules. You either have to deal with it, or unfortunately break up with him and move on. Not trying to get too personal but it does not seem like you are happy at the moment. Think if you happen to have a kid, would you want that crazy woman to be your kids grandmother? Would you trust her to watch your kid or provide? Just some serious things to consider.

I don't make enough for us to move into an apartment and afford all the bills + a car payment.

Well I can that we don't intend to break up. We've been together for 11 years so I'm pretty sure our bond is one that won't be broken just because of his mother. Now I know that he agrees with me on her behavior but he also loves and respects his mom which is why I'm not being too confrontational with her. The main idea we have is to, obviously, move out but we can't afford that right now.

Well that is good if you can deal with it in the mean time. My ex would always chose his mom over me, and it got quite annoying and I was only with him for 3 years. Nothing comes between a mom and her son, especially if the son favors her and think she can do no wrong and vice versa. Even If your boyfriend is completely wrong in an argument she will defend her son to the death. lol

Oh lord, momma's boys. lol

Yep. I found out after we broke up, he started dating his car. Like my strange addiction/ psycho type stuff. His mom did not think it was weird in the slightest. He made another facebook page of his car and was having conversations with himself.

HAHAHAH, sorry to butt in but man, that's kind of hilarious/frightening and you really dodged a bullet there. What a weird guy.

I know! I had no idea, he just went crazy after we broke up. He had some red flags but nothing extreme, just the egotistical male you would not get along with. lol

That's not a fun situation to begin with, I agree! While I live with my mother, we tend to share bills or trade off on them. If I am not going to eat with her, I'll make sure she knows we are fending for ourselves. It'd be nice if every situation could be that beneficial, but I know it isn't the case -- my friend is living with her boyfriend at his grandmother's house and it's been very stressful for them, so I can imagine the impact this may have on you both when it comes to a head. A small, constant frustration mounts into a bigger one when everyone's had enough, haha. Anyway, good luck, I hope you guys can manage to move out or find some relative peace!

My only suggestion is find better roommates. It will probably end up much better.