This ex-friend to which I'm referring is toxic and I can't be around her ever again. It's not one of those situations where you're mad at someone and just need to be away from them for a while. This is one of those toxic people that, once you realize who they really are, you RUN in the other direction. So, keep that in mind when reading this, as there can be no reconciliation of our former friendship. I do not want that.

While we were friends, this person gave me a bunch of gifts, but most of them were things I would have just bought for myself anyway... I even was going to buy some of those things for myself, but this friend was like, "Oh, I'll buy that!" as a gesture of friendship. So now those things remind me of said person now and again, though for the most part, it doesn't really bother me. Some of them are cute nicknacks, but others are more useful, like journals that I've been writing in for a while now. Do you think it's weird that I still keep those things, or should I just get rid of them all so I can finally get the memory of this person out of my life for good?

In a way, I don't think it's a bad thing to be reminded; after all, a cute trinket that may remind me of that person simply reminds me of the good memories I had with her and actually helps me not to hate her so much. I believe we're supposed to love our enemies (and am clearly having a hard time doing that with her), so I think any effort to try and stop hating this person would help. But at the same time, I just feel uneasy about it sometimes when I think about it. What do you guys think? Does anyone else have a similar experience? I'm specifically interested in hearing from people who had an experience like this in friendship, as opposed to romantic relationships, but at the same time, I suppose they could have certain similarities. Anyway, I see the gifts my ex-friend gave me as things that are fitting to keep, because, like I said, it was my idea to get most of them anyway, and some are useful and all of them fit my personality. They're not things that, divorced from the fact that SHE bought them for me, would have any reason to remind me of her; rather, these things, what they are, remind me of ME, because they are things that only I liked, not things that she liked or even knew about before I mentioned them.

I'm excited to hear from all of you guys, even if you don't have personal experience in what I'm talking about! ❤️

I see no reason for you to return the gifts to her. The friendship may have ended, but that doesn't mean you have to destroy all traces of her from your life. Like you said, you do have good memories before the relationship turned toxic and it's nice to remember those from time to time.

I met my childhood best friend in 2nd grade and we remained like sisters until college. The more we grew into our adult lives, the less we got along. It ended in a pretty nasty fight and after not speaking for a few weeks, I gathered up all the things she had given me, all the letters and pictures and anything that reminded me of our 12 year friendship, and put them in a box with the intention of calling her and telling her to come get it all. The next morning I went back through everything and (like you) realized a lot of the things reminded me more of myself than anything else.

We haven't spoken a word to one another in years but I still have several of the things I so desperately wanted to destroy at the time, and I'm grateful for that. Now when I tell my husband a funny story about high school I can grab a picture and show him, or when I'm feeling nostalgic I can listen to the mix cd we made for our spring break road trip. She was such a huge part of my life that I'll never completely forget her, and I find nothing wrong with hanging on to a few mementos of our time as friends.

I wouldn't get rid of anything unless something consistently gives you negative feelings when you look at it. If most things are you, and you would've bought them anyway, then keep them.

I had a really good friend who gave me some items. The friend ended up betraying me and hurting my feelings. The item I remember most is a pair of leggings. I wear them on a regular basis. I have considered getting rid of them, but I really like them. Our senior year of high school, after we stopped being friends, she continued to wear one of my scarves in her hair, and I continued to wear a pair of boots she had given me. It gives me a weird feeling since I still have some negative feelings toward her, but I suppose it's even.

I don't see why you shouldnt keep them. If they are things you like, then why not? If there is anything that consistently brings up bad memories, or makes you feel something negative, then it may be best to part with it. But there is no reason to feel like you should get rid of something just because someone is no longer in your life.

I had a boyfriend years ago who gave me little things, a necklace here, a ring here, just little pieces of jewelry. We weren't close, and things didnt work out, but I still kept everything. We haven't talked since, and I honestly haven't worn any of the jewelry because they honestly just aren't my style, but i felt no need to return the things that he had given to me, and only got rid of the things i simply did not like.

Everyone, thank you so much for the awesome replies. You have all helped me a ton and I already feel like I made the right choice in keeping my former friend's gifts. ❤️❤️❤️❤️

It's fantastic to hear how your decision to keep the gifts stood the test of time. I think that's the thing I worry most about--I'm always worried about the future, and I keep thinking that I'll have spent too much time lingering on that past friendship that ended badly. But your example is so helpful to hear, because it's clear that you do not regret keeping those things, and you are happy to have done so. I would imagine that a childhood friend who you've known for so long would have an even bigger impact on your life and therefore hold even more weight than my short one year friendship with the girl I was talking about. And yet, you are still able to see the good in it. If things can turn out so well for you and you are able to have such a great attitude about it, I'm certain I can do the same. :)

That's awesome and interesting how you and your friend were both able to proudly wear the clothes you had given each other. That definitely shows a lot of maturity, and it certainly makes me feel a lot better about the fact that I still use and wear gifts from my former friend, too. I fortunately don't have to see this girl anymore, because we used to work together but don't now, but it's so encouraging to hear that you are able to wear those gifts right in front of her and not feel too weird about it. I definitely will remember this, as this will help me not feel so strange about it. I guess it is a feeling, after all, and that feeling will go away in time, especially since I no longer see this girl even in passing anymore. I hope the weird/negative feelings you have can fade for you as well. c:

I agree that anything that brings up consistent bad feelings should be discarded. No negative feelings with them has been too consistent so far, but if I just can't shake the feeling, I will definitely consider getting rid of it, they are just things after all. I liked hearing your experience, it's interesting how you kept it from an ex-boyfriend and that still didn't bother you. I'm really glad, I hope that I can do that sort of thing in the future. I always get rid of things from ex-boyfriends, but I think I might have been being too rash, as I later regretted getting rid of some of the things that I did. But oh well. ^.^ Anyway, your input has definitely encouraged me!

I'm glad I could help you! Sometimes it can certainly be difficult to keep certain things, especially when they are connected to a person. Just try to let them remind you of good things, and that there are more good things to come with new friends and new people :)