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You're still alive and breathing so you're not a failure.

What they did to you was wrong (still wrong) and they should be castrated and humiliated like they did to you. You're not less of a person because you were abused, you're not less beautiful because you're a victim. You're a beautiful survivor.

Dying doesn't give you anything. It doesn't give you joy, it doesn't give you hope, it doesn't make you sad; it gives you nothing. Every little things that are worth it will no longer matter if you die. I don't know you, but I think you're worth it. You're young, you went through some big stuff but you're alive and you have a place on this damn planet.

Therapy is good, be open minded about it. It's okay to cry, to be afraid and angry. It's okay to de insecure about it as well. Every little step count :)! Supporte group for survivors or sexual abuse can also be a good thing. You can try it out and see if it's something that works for you, or not.

I'm not throwing words like a know-it-all or a cheerful idiot. Take it from someone who survived from violence, physical and verbal abuse. I went to a mental ward for young children, I was separated from people, etc. I also have PTSD and borderline disorder and mental anorexia. You're not alone, but I now you're worth the time to be taken care of. If you ever FEEL the urge to do something that might endanger you, please call your nearest suicide phone line.

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You were abused. You could've worn a mini-skirt, showed a nude and it still woudn't be consent. It's still wouldn't be your fault. It's still not your fault.

It's your life. You don't owe anything to anyone. You choose what you want in life, you pick your own destiny and make your own choice. You only have one chance, you only live once. You have to make the best out of it.

I don't cry either, so I can rely to you on that. But I always feel anger; I'm driven by anger and hate and I no longer take any shit from anyone. I stood up for myself; I buried the corpse. I realised that dying wasn't what I wanted even if my life is fifty shades of fucked up and even if I still struggle.

You're not stuck. You need time to heal, you need a little push to heal. You're not evil (Are you christian? because I don't want to offend you as I'm not a religious person).

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You're not bad, evil or dirty. Your inner beauty was attacked, but it's still here. Hearing voices in your head doesn't make you evil. If it's a mental condition, it can be treated. I'd advice you to see a neutral therapist about it.

I'm not free. I am still bound to my mother and it cages my freedom and who I am. I also did/do everything I can for her. But our parents aren't here to keep us away from our lives. You have the right to say no, to take a break and ask for your space.

Obviously, you were abused by mens. It's a fear that you'll need to work on, so it's normal to feel distressed about those dreams. Lusting after a woman and feeling for a woman are different things. Have you even felt something for a woman in real life? Both feelings and sexually? Sexuality is a fluid thing with weird boundary. I am not the best ressource, but they are my two cents as a bisexual female.

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Seeking help is the good path for healing. Therapist are entitled to privacy, everything you say is private and remains private. You can talk with that person and explain your fear of being taken away. I wasn't forcefully taken away when I went to the ward, it was a choice and they explained the process to me.

If you are not sexually attracted to women or entitled to romantic feelings for them, then I don't think it's "a discovery". Peharps you're curious or even demisexual if you have feelings for a female friend .. I don't really know. And both men and women can be mean and do nasty stuff, both genders can be responsible for hurting someone.

I'm about to logout. I will answer you tomorrow :)

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- As someone who has been abused physically, emotionally, verbally, and sexually, yes, you can heal, but it takes a long time. And you're not useless. You're reaching out for help, which is very hard to do. I applaud you for that.

First you need to open up the wounds and get them cleaned. There will always be a scar, but it's much better than having an infection all your life. This is what therapy will help you with. You'll experience so many emotions and you'll feel overwhelmed after many years of being emotionally numb. But, don't give up. It only gets better from there.

As for the dreams with women, I imagine it's because you have a fear of men. I also had such dreams and thoughts of women as a teen, because I was scared of men until 2 years ago. I started talking to men and realizing not all of them are sex crazed or feel the need to hit women to assert their dominance. Now, I actually get along with men better than women.

However, these thoughts and dreams don't necessarily mean you're attracted to women. I'm definitely not.

I wish you the best going through therapy. And whenever you think there's no hope for you, remember that there is a bright future ahead of you. There's people that care for you and you'll meet wonderful people in the future. Hold on no matter what.

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- I'm really happy to hear you're not giving up. Being a victim of your past is not what you want to do at all.

Yes, talking to a therapist is scary. But, if you have a good therapist, they will not push you back... only forward.

I want this topic locked please. Thank you.