So, I've just been a bit curious, are there any other poly people on mweor? Poly as in non-monogamous of any type. If you are poly, what type and what have your experiences been like? Do you feel like it is a choice or part of your intrinsic personality? What would your ideal poly relationship/family look like? Would you ever consider monogamy if your partner requested it? What led you to be poly? What's your favorite thing about being poly? Etc?

If you're monogamous, what led you to that? Do you think you could be poly if your partner requested it? What do you like about being monogamous? What led you to choose that lifestyle and/or do you think its a choice or an intrinsic part of your personality?

Feel free to ask additional questions as well c:

Personally, I'm poly, I'm married to my husband and have a boyfriend as well. At one point me and my husband "shared" a girlfriend, but that didn't work out and so now she's just our best friend. I definitely feel that for me, it is a part of who I am, and not a choice at all, very similar to how sexuality works. Ideally I'd like to eventually have a poly family of 5 people who all have a relationship with each other, as well as possible side partners who do not live with us. My husband would always be my primary partner, the other ones we lived with would be secondary, and the outside ones would be tertiary. We'd have adopted kids (or one of the other women could have them, I definitely wont) which we would all raise together in a very large house/mansion. I don't think I could ever be happy while being monogamous, but I also couldn't be happy without my husband. I would probably choose his happiness over mine if it came down to that and attempt to be monogamous (hopefully it will never happen though). I think what led me to poly would have to be genetics and growing up with two parents and a nanny, which showed me that its a lot easier for three people to work together than two. There are probably several factors though. My favorite thing about being poly is watching my husband be more and more happy with more partners and getting to make more of my partners happy.

Please do not post anything derogatory about ANY type of relationship here. If you have an issue with anything, please use private messages or create your own topic. This is a safe space. Thanks :)

I have been part of a poly relationship in the past, I was the only female and it worked pretty well for a long time until the male who was not my primary partner wanted more than I was prepared to give and kept pushing so that it caused issues and I had to end it with him.

Poly seems to work best when everyone is pretty easy going and is prepared to stick to the agreed bounderies. There were no problems with jealousy on my part I found it worked well for my dominant nature but when one started wanting more of my time and attention naturally the other started to feel pushed out and that wasnt part of the understanding.

Hmm I wouldn't say I was poly as such, but I have been in polyamorous relationships. It really depends on the relationship for me; For some people I'm completely comfortable with it/ encouraging of it. For some dynamics though ... no. Even if they requested a open relationship, It'd hurt me. It's a case by case basis. Personally I think monogamous relationships work better for me as a general trend, but I'm truly open to either. I wouldn't say whatever-that-qualifies-as was an intrinsic part of my personality. It does not define me, or play a huge role in my identity ^-^ It just is. Can I ask rude questions? Either here or in pm form? Don't want to ruin the chill vibe here, but I'm curious about a few things you mentioned in your first post.

I am not poly but I did know a poly family. It was comprised of one man who had a boyfriend and a girlfriend, and they all lived together for many many years. The boyfriend and girlfriend did not have a sexual relationship with eachother, just the original man. Something like that would not work for me, but worked very well for them.

edit: I thought I should add they were all in their 40's.

I'm totally accepting of people having a poly relationship. I've never known anyone in one (not that I know of) but I'm okay with it. It's not something that I could do because one relationship is already complicated and a lot of work and devotion, too much stress on my hand.

I have no idea if I could go poly, I never thought about it unless I refer to the point above.

Thanks all for sharing your experiences, they're very interesting!

You can ask any questions, I just might not answer them if I think they're inappropriate c:

i find poly relationship dynamics to be really interesting. how old were you when you had your first poly relationship/ realized you couldn't be monogamous? honestly, i think the idea of getting married to someone and staying together until we die sounds terrible. i don't think one person is really capable of changing and growing with you in the ways that you need them to for your whole life. but if you have someone else on the side to get you through while you stay with your main partner...that sounds pretty great to me! as far as raising kids go, i think it might be confusing for them at first. but, the upside is that the kids would have even more adults that love them.

questions about your current relationship - were you poly with your husband from the start? how did you approach the subject? had he been poly before? do you have rules with him...? like things he can only do with you but not the other girls? personally I would have jealousy issues, or be concerned that he might start to like one of the other girls more than he likes me. why didn't sharing a girlfriend work? i would think sharing partners would be the best part haha.

Sorry, I'm a bit of an uneducated bumpkin on the subject beyond my own catch-as-catch-can experiences. Oh! Oh dearheaddesk Sorry, growing up "personal" = "rude" in regards to questions and evidently the old terms rise to the surface at 4am .-. Hopefully the questions are personal rather than rude!! Either way, yeah, don't feel obligated. ^-^

Was your first poly relationship at your urging or at your partner's? Either way, how did you feel about the lifestyle at the time? (.... ok this is mostly just curiosity)

I first realized I couldn't ever be happy in a monogamous relationship at 17 with my second boyfriend who was horribly jealous and controlling (and in retrospect abusive). My first one was actually with my third boyfriend who is now my husband that also began when I was 17. But honestly, I've really always known that I could love more than one person at the same time since I was 4 or 5.

My boyfriend was actually raised by his mother who was poly, and never questioned it more than a person with mono parents. I don't think its all that confusing or upsetting, so long as the parents go about it in the right way.

Me and my husband have been poly from the start, it was something we both stated on our dating profiles on okCupid, but we discussed the topic of an open relationship on our first date as well. I think he'd been poly before, but it was a weird unhealthy situation. Technically, we weren't dating for the first 4 months of our relationship (I was 17 and he was 21), so we didn't have specific terms like you'd expect. Once we officially started dating and got very serious (he was moving 500 miles away with me), we discussed terms. We basically have to ask each other (and usually have some discussion) before either of us do anything with somebody else (kissing, dating, etc, but not really for flirting or texting). Also we both need to use condoms with anybody else, for safety reasons.

I know I'll always be number one and he'll never like anybody else more than me, the same way people who are moonogamous know that about their partners. In fact, I'm more confident about it because he gets to actually experience other people and still comes back to me and shows me that he loves me 100000000 times more than anybody else.

Sharing a girlfriend didn't work because of circumstances with ourselves all dealing with rough times. I definitely could see it working out in the future though with somebody else. I prefer sharing partners to having separate ones, personally. Although honestly, sharing a boy would be easier than sharing a girl, because he's bisexual and biromantic while I'm heterosexual(ish) and biromantic.

Ah, that makes more sense, lol. As I stated above in my reply to irk, we both wanted a poly relationship and knew that before we even met because we used a dating website. I felt it was the only way to be happy for me, that everybody would be more fulfilled and happier in one (this thought process has changed a bit since then, lol), and that we were evolutionarily supposed to be poly (now I think we're evolutionarily supposed to be able to be either mono or poly).

How interesting! Sorry realizing it sounds sarcastic or something impolite, but it really is interesting. :D Clearly I must check back in here at some point when I'm not drawing a blank on something to say. Thanks for the insights ^-^/