I'm not sure who to talk to about this, so I'm just going to make this post, looking for advice and opinions. Sorry if it's in the wrong section, I feel like it's more fitting under Relationships rather than Issues & Advice ^__^"

So basically just to explain the situation, I began college in August and met two girls who are now my best friends. Let's just call them B and M. B and M grew up together and have been best friends since kindergarten, they're integrated into each other's families, and I became very close with them over our first semester at school. B has an older brother that attends the same college as us, we'll call him P. P is two years older than me and I met him two maybe three times over the semester through B, and we both found each other attractive. Nothing happened though, except for me mildly teasing B about him.

So winter break starts and I start spending the night with B and M a lot at B's house. P is home for the holidays, as well, and the first night I spend the night B goes to sleep early and I spend an hour or two cuddling with P on the couch. A couple of days pass and he contacts me on FB, we exchange numbers, begin talking and flirting. At this point I'm realizing that I like this guy, and so I talk to M about what to do and if she thinks B will be okay with it. M says it'll be uncomfortable at first but B should get used to it over time and that I shouldn't suppress my feelings because of how B might react. I ended up telling B about me liking him and wanting to pursue him and she says that she doesn't care as long as she doesn't hear about it because it makes her so uncomfortable.

I've thought it over and part of me feels like it's a maturity problem with B that she isn't at least a little comfortable with the thought of it, but another part of me doesn't want to risk losing B's trust over wanting to be with P. P and I are still texting and flirting and B has no idea, and I'm just unsure of how to handle this situation....

If anything doesn't make sense please ask me, I can explain farther. I just didn't want to make a super long post.

I say its totally fine to go for it, you're your own person and I'm sure even if she's initially uncomfortable that she'll get over it. I've definitely been there and its important to be able to handle that sort of thing, because eventually she'll have to be friends with her brother's girlfriends anyways.

Why on Earth would anyone have a problem with you dating their brother? It happens all the time. You meet people by knowing people.

But if B needs time to adjust to the idea, then just keep it out of her face. No biggie. Perfectly acceptable.

I'm not so concerned with you and P as I am with the relation between you and your friends. The way I see it, it could get problematic if/when it ends between you and P - if it's a really bad break you could end up losing both him and B & M. They're long time friends and sort of family, and if they were forced to choose, you would be more likely to stand alone in the end.

I still think you should go for it, because there's literally nothing that's gonna make you want to do something more than not doing it, but I would want be really REALLY certain that it's something you want longterm before getting into something if I were you.

Tread carefully, and good luck with him! :)

I mean, I think you should go for it. You need to do what makes you happy, not what your friends think. I think what she might have meant by feeling "uncomfortable" is that she doesn't want to know the details of your relationship. Like, I often hang out with my boyfriend's sister, but I never tell her details about my relationship with him. For one, that is my private life. And two, I can't imagine her wanting to know the fine details about her brother xD Just keep it to a minimum and his sister will be fine. She should want both you and her brother to be happy.

[edit] I finally got one of these forum points, dang xD

I don't think it's wrong at all to be into your friend's brother. But, as others have said, be careful about your friendships and how you present the relationship to them. Think about balancing your time with both your friends and P because you wouldn't want one of them to have hard feelings. Also consider what might happen to your friendships if you and P end up breaking up. Best of luck!

As already mentioned above, it is perfectly fine for you to pursue him. Your friend says it's alright with her by the sound of it, she just doesnt want to hear about your relationship with him. Just dont tell her all of the interesting details of things going on within your relationship. Talking about a date is probably something she wouldn't mind too much.

Also, remember that there might be some negative feelings between you and B should you and P break up. Just keep that in mind. Also, don't make B feel like you're hanging out with her just because of her brother, or that you're around her to be closer to him.

All in all, if you really want to go for it, you certainly should! :)

It sounds like what she actually meant by saying she doesn't want to hear about it is more detailed stuff than "yeah we have dinner plans on Friday" and other generic stuff like that. I'm an only child, but if I had a brother/sister and one of my friends were dating them, I'd have no problem with it. Honestly, I'd rather it be one of my friends than some snob I can't stand. I definitely wouldn't want to hear any details about them making out or having sex. I don't know about you and your friends, but I discuss stuff like that with my close girl friends all the time. It would just be wrong hearing about my relatives that in that way though.