Hello, while I appreciate the gift of and the note that was intended to be kind and heartfelt:

"Hi Gwendelynn. I know we don't talk anymore, but I just wanted to say hi and I hope you're doing well. I know that this time of year is hard for you and even though we haven't talked in a year, I still remember. I also still feel bad the way things turned out for us. Maybe you will be able to tell who this is and you will decide to smail me. Hope your holidays were good."

I would like to say that I don't like anonymous gifts. They leave me feeling nervous and anxious and usually wanting to thank someone, but being unable to.

I have NO idea who you are, there are more than a few ppl who I haven't spoken to in a LONG time. And while I appreciate that you remember that this is a difficult time of year for me, this anonymous gift only leaves me feeling that you want to play games rather than simply reveal yourself. Also telling me that YOU feel bad the way things turned out for us just doesn't make sense if you're attempting to give me a gift. It's NOT a gift when you include a statement of that nature because it's veiled in mystery and I don't know to what you're referring. I can't tell if you're laying a trip on ME for something that I did that was offensive or if you're trying to apologize. I just don't "get it." People who know me well know that I am VERY literal and I don't do well with guessing at anything--even when I was young and even before so many things in my life "went south."

If you TRULY care that I'm going through a rough time (and I AM, the 3rd anniversary of Joe's tragic and untimely death is in just a few days) then why send me a gift with a riddle that puts it into MY hands to try to remember who YOU are?

I think that someone who REALLY cares about me would NOT send me a note such as this. It feels as if I'm supposed to massage YOUR ego by remembering who YOU are, and I don't. I just couldn't possibly. I've been living with the feeling that my head has been blown to bits since he died. I can barely get myself into the shower, I don't leave my apt except when I have to see the doctor. I'm totally NOT OK, so this is just a source of stress.

I really don't know why anyone would send a note such as this to a person who is already SO stressed out and depressed that playing guessing games is the LAST thing I want in my life. I think that my true friends here understand that. I'm going to be 60 in less than 6 months and I feel as if I've aged 10 yrs in the last three. I think that w/out the tragedy of Joe's death I would be aging MUCH more gracefully.

So, I'm sorry but I have NO clue who you are, but I can tell you that IF you have the courage to respond to this (not necessarily here, privately is fine) and tell me who you are there is a very good chance that ALL will be forgiven and you will have shown yourself to be someone who can admit that they've made a mistake.

Thank you.

For the mods: I have NO idea if this is in the right forum. Please move it, if need be. Thank you.