So, I am at that stage where I am turning 18 in a few weeks, and then in a few months I am graduating, and I am having serious issues trying to figure out what I am doing with life and handling this emotionally.

I don't know what I want in life. Well, I do, but I just don't think it's realistic or it's gonna happen. So, right now I have two options that don't work together. I could stay where I am living (rural town, and I can't exactly stand it here) where it is familiar, and then I can get a horse and eventually my own house, and live like that for however long, working and writing (and desperately hoping my books get famous).

Then the other thing I want is to move to South Korea, and live there for a while. I love the culture, and it just seems like an amazing place to live. I would have an apartment in Seoul, and I would work. I have no clue where, I was considering becoming an English teacher though. The downside with that is that I don't think I would be a very good teacher.

As you can tell, the two things I want in life don't work together very well. I've wanted a horse my entire life, and since I have recently started working with horses for real last year, I want one even more. And now that I am about to graduate, my mom just FINALLY decided she is going to let me get one and she is willing to pay for it, but I know that if I live up to my dream of getting a horse, I will be stuck here for the next 15-20 years, and I don't know if I can handle that. I can barely handle living where I do now.

I mean, ideally I'd like to meet a guy who is perfect for me (there is no perfect guy, persay) and date them for a while, live together, all of that, and then get married and potentially have kids with them and what not. But with how things are going, I really doubt that is going to happen. It definitely won't happen if I continue to live where I am, I have never met my kind of guy here, or even seen one close to it. To be honest though, I don't even know if my true dream man exists, besides Alexander Skarsgard haha, but my chances with him are zero to none.

I know everyone says that no one knows where they are going in life and that it's fine, but I still want to just be able to have fun in my life, and not be stuck in one place forever. But at the same time, moving to a new place is scary, especially as a small, lone female who has never really experienced what it's like to live in a city or anything. I feel so trapped :(

I just need some words of wisdom and advice, maybe insight on what I want in life. Ha, I wish someone could just come in and tell me what would be best for me.

All I can say to you is:

You will be 18. They always tell us to decide something that will influence our LIFE FOREVER. The truth? A lot of thing can change. Experience stuff, make mistakes, do better, that's pretty much it. Your life shouldn't be a burden.

You are going to be 18. Now At that time you have some decisions to make but I am going to tell you now that most of the decisions you make don't define your entire life. Whether or not you go to college, or to get a horse and live in your hometown doesnt mean its the end all.

Should you want to live your life in another country make sure you get passed the idealistic because its fun and exciting. Really look up what you are going to need. Life and the decisions you are going to make are about prep work. If you don't then you might find yourself not mentally prepared for the harder tasks in life.

My dad gave me a lot of lectures on finance, the value of schoolwork, and work throughout my life. It helped a lot and got me prepared for life when I was ready to fully move out and ready to pay bills and balance school life with work life.

But I am going to be honest with you. I am 25, I have a degree, and if you want to go to college and get a degree in whatever you want don't let anyone discourage you in saying, "Thats an easy degree...or that degree doesnt give you any money..." Its your life but you are going to also have to work at it. And people who say those things, either are going into college for just that nurses degree or that computer science degree for the wrong reasons.

Also with that degree it doesnt mean you are entitled automatically to a job. And if you couldn't find one right out of college it doesnt mean you failed. If you have to follow another degree to build on, go for it. Learning doesnt stop after you are out of highschool or in college. It is good to learn things.

Now...that said..Lets talk about time lines. Many people get discouraged a lot that other kids are getting breaks and doing bigger and better things. That one guy in your english lit class has a book deal now and you are scrapping by teaching kids. Well, life goes at different paces. But again its your life and you know what pace you are at. So what if it takes longer, at least you are living how you want. Don't care about the successes of other people. Because at the same time some other kid in your class will have 3 kids and be involved in a pyramid scheme. So don't worry.

I know your biggest worry is staying in your hometown forever. Life changes. But I am going to say this, you are young, experience life first before you settle down. Travel first. See the world, don't get stuck in a commitment too fast in your life that doesn't involve learning to grow emotionally.

Its going to be hard. I am not going to sugar coat it and say that everything is going to be ok. You are going to mess up. You are going to start out with a tiny apartment filled with roaches. You might have to switch jobs because your manager is a douchebag. You are going to gain weight because you wont afford a gym membership and buying organic is simply out of the question now.

BUT.

You will meet new people. Have the freedom to actually go out at three o clock in the morning for Jack in the Box just because. You can feel proud of your accomplishments better because you are by yourself. And that getting that paycheck to pay rent is out of the way but your next one you get to buy whatever the hell you want as long as its in your means. You finally get to choose your own LIFE. Not dictated by your parents.

I would say don't get a horse or any animal until you decide what you want to do. Animals are a huge commitment, especially if you are considering long term overseas travel. I would love a cat or a dog but my partner and I don't want to be restricted. One compromise could be that you use somebody else's horse if you move.

Another idea is you could study writing at a college near your hometown, you could perhaps still have the horse, travel back to ride every so often, but you would improve your craft, while learning about yourself as a person by being away from home but not too far away. It would give you a good opportunity to meet guys, and you could also see if the college does exchanges with somewhere in south korea.

I left home at 17 to go to uni. I stayed in a hall of residence (dorm room). But before I left, I was terrified. I had no idea what to expect - it was terribly daunting, and I had no friends where I was going.

I also faced the whole "pre-adulthood crisis" thing. Whatever you do, you will develop new routines, meet people, and it will all be okay and things will fall into place. Just ensure you have a realistic amount of money for whatever you want to do, as life is pretty hard if you don't have enough money!

The world is your oyster! I wish I could be 18 again. Do what you love but be reasonable too. You will meet someone. You will leave your hometown. Maybe not as soon as you'd prefer, but you will.

About teaching English abroad, be careful! Many South Korean hagwons (cram schools) are out to scam foreigners because there are a ton of shady business owners who only care about filling their pockets, not their students or teachers. Things like terrible contracts, outright lying, and withholding or tampering with wages aren't uncommon, especially for people who do things off the books who think they can take advantage of foreigners abroad.

Reputable programs that will put you up in a nice place to stay and pay you a decent living wage will require at least a 4-year Bachelors degree (similar to how Teach for America, Peace Corps, AmeriCorps, etc, work as well). The most desirable programs will want teaching certifications and a background in education. There's been a major influx of less qualified English speakers trying to teach there so I think the educational ministry is a bit more wary of things like issuing work visas. Even getting there will be a considerable expense. My family only visits biannually at most because airfare alone is a killer.

It sounds like you're passionate enough about animals to pursue involving them in a potential career path. South Korea will always be there and working/visiting/studying abroad there or anywhere will be a lot more fun with more expendable cash and life experience under your belt. You'll have lots of time to travel and see the world in your 20s when you'll still be young enough to enjoy it without hopefully too many responsibilities other than yourself.

Would you consider a gap year, not necessarily for travel, and then further involvement with horses and school?