A basic recap of my life up to this point: My husband and I have been married for almost two years now, and shortly after we got married I quit my job in retail. I was in management and made decent money, but there were too many problems for me to stay. So I went back to school, buckled down and finished a two year program in a year so that I could become more qualified to do something other than retail, since my bachelors alone wasn't cutting it.

Start of this year I got an internship and wrapped up my program, the company I interned with offered me a job and I've been there ever since. It's good but great, definitely not what I thought it'd be. I applied to many other places before I accepted the job, but the field ultimately requires experience and there aren't too many entry level jobs with how the economy is. After a while, I gave up and just became content with my job.. But I'm not happy with it. There's been a lot of drama that's happened over the past few months and its ultimately (and inadvertently) shown me, through how management handled it, just where I stand in the company; especially in working for a small company. Still.. Its closer to home than my husband's job and it wasn't like I had other places trying to hire me.

The problem.. I was recently offered a "too good to pass up" job that I'm really not sure I can walk away from. I wasn't looking, I didn't approach anyone, instead I was randomly approached by someone I know, saying they knew of a job that they thought I'd be perfect for. That suggestion materialized into an offer and its currently being ironed out. The problem I'm facing.. I haven't even been with my current job a year, but I don't see it being a longterm placement for me. I knew when I took the job that the pay was well under market averages, but thought that it'd be worth it in the long run if it meant that I could have a chance to advance.. However I don't think this is the case. When I took the job they offered, it wasn't in my field of study at all. A couple months into it I was promoted to the job in my field, but it only happened when one of my coworkers attempted to quit only to end up staying. At which point they couldn't take the offer back and let me keep the promotion. Since then, I feel like I've kind of been settled into a corner and there's really no place for me.

Plus, the environment at work breeds more of a competitive spirit between coworkers and there's rarely any camaraderie between us, which doesn't foster a learning environment. If I were to ask someone how to do X, they'd only give me a bare bones idea on what to do as opposed to just training me on what to do.. The logic being that if I were to become really good at X, then it would eliminate any need for X-type work to come to them in the future. I know its a personal thing, but I just work better in open, team oriented environments. Plus, my coworkers are kind of "settled" into their jobs and are great at looking as though they have more work on their plates than they really do.. Which allows them to work at their own pace without much pressure.

So, I'm ultimately stuck. One of the managers is someone I grew up with and is friends with my parents, so I feel like I'd be making her look bad by leaving. In addition to the short time I've been there, I just feel bad. But, as I've mentioned, I don't see this job going anywhere for me, and the pay just isn't there. When I inquired about the pay raise I was told would come with the promotion, I was told there'd be ANOTHER probationary period (I've had two already) and then they'd let me know.. That came and went and the answer is always "when you have your review." Ugh. The new job would be mean higher pay, more responsibilities and more opportunity for growth and advancement. Its also outside my field of study.. And given that my field has such a niche environment, should I leave, I'd be cutting ties with that field for better or worse..

So.. As you can see, I'm kind of stuck.. Any advice?

I don't have much experience with this so this is merely my opinion but if you have the opportunity to work somewhere that you think you would be happier, wouldn't that be the best choice to make? I wouldn't worry about making someone else feel bad (not that i Have roomto talk because I always worry about those things too!) but the right answer is your happiness, always. I have learned through life and recent things that have happened to me that sometimes you just have to take the "selfish route" you have to choose you, this sounds like one of those times. .. but again just my opinion.

Finally! Someone who understands! Its hard not to worry about these things honestly.. I feel bad because I don't want to make them unhappy, and especially make this person look bad.. I just don't see any long term potential. I'm feeling worse than usual, because since I've found out about the other job, I've mentally checked out. So I guess in the end, I'd be doing it for me and for them since (as it stands) I wouldn't be nearly as enthusiastic about the work.

And if they are a decent human being they would understand that your life is about you, not them :) So they would (should) be happier for you that you would be following a different path that would be good for you. Nothing is worse then feeling like your entire life is at or on it's way to a dead end and that's what your current job sounds like to me. Glad I could help some -huggles- ^^

That was strange, the whole middle portion of your post sounded like my workplace! It's in Chem lab though so not sure if it's even similar.

I think you should go with the new offer without feeling an ounce of hesitation or guilt. Fuck loyalty - you're an employee, not part of a co-operative. If they weren't making money off your back, or thought they would, I bet they would have no problems in letting you go.

If employees are getting poached or finding work elsewhere, it's up to them to figure out why they're turnover is so high... usually shitty managers or pay, etc. Not your problem.

I apologize for the disappearance, lack of response and then suddenly very belated response.. ^^; But I did want to thank both of you for your kind words and advice. I ultimately ended up taking the other job without looking back and I feel like I made the right decision in doing so. The environment isn't quite the same, but it has moved me into an environment that's more amicable and my relationship with my coworkers has improved dramatically.

My previous job was with a law firm and had a long talk with the attorney who started the firm before I left. He told me that he wasn't surprised by my leaving, he was actually surprised it took me as long as it did since he didn't see me continuing as a paralegal. The other attorneys didn't quite have the same reaction, but I don't feel bad about what I did. :) So thank you both for your advice!

my best advice is actually go with the new offer. you will do so much if you feel its your place and it doesnt sound like it with your current job. why stay and be unhappy when you can create something better? you could tell your boss that you feel like the job didnt fit me and it doesnt have anything to do with her/him or the coworkers.

Happy to hear everything worked out for the better in the end :D