So .. I don't know as many people on Subeta as I used to but I just thought writing about this somewhere would help a little.

I just in August moved back to Philadelphia to be closer to my gram after she was hospitalized, she's had alzheimers for a while now but she had still been functioning. She's starting to deteriorate and isn't able to remember to do the basic take care of herself things etc but anyway.

We all know what is coming and we all have been preparing for it but this morning...

My mom and I were sitting in the living room talking and she came out of her room and she looked at me and at first we thought she was joking when she asked me what my name was, she didn't know my name.

She said she knew me but she couldn't remember what my name was. So I said I'm your granddaughter Jamie and she's like Jamie... Jamie.. yes that sounds right... so she sits down and turns to me and she's like you know... I forgot what your name was already ... and then she's like wait no .. no it's Jamie, right? She was so unsure but she thought she had the correct name.

I thought I would be ready for this for but it was heartbreaking.

I know how you feel sweetheart, I lost my grandmother to alz heimers, scelraderma and cancer. She got really really mean and stuff and would forget things, she didnt even know how to talk anymore. It's a very sad and heartbreaking disease and it's hard to prepare for and it will still hurt when things like that happen. If you need to talk I am here for you as I have been there and done that. I'm sorry your going through this.

My grandma had Alzheimer when she passed away. It started to be small bit until she couldn't remember anyone. Sometimes she was lucid and recognized us, but it was to the point where she couldn't speak. My grandfather is suffering of demencia, which is hereditary (so far) and Alzheimer as well, I know how hard it can be. I don't really see him, we were never close so I don't feel anything about it. It was different with my grandma tho.

We are never prepared for that kind of thing.

No we are definitely not prepared for any of it. It killed me because I was sooo close to my grandma.

Sorry to hear about your loss is well, it really is and she had been starting down that path since she can no longer take care of herself. She will come out of her bedroom and ask us what she should do now. We have to tell her to go sit in her chair but she doesn't remember which chair is hers anymore so we have to direct her chair. She was still remembering everyone though .. except my kitten, she calls him every variation of his name but his name.. but I never imagined she would forget my name so soon and why did I have to be first, that just hurts more.

I guess you really can't ever prepare but we knew this was coming so I just always thought knowing and being ready would make it hurt less but it didn't. .. and it's only going to get worse. I was pretty close to my grams when I was younger as well.

its ok I just keep her memory alive with my kids. They know who she was and recognize her so it's makes it a bit easier. I'm sure you will do the same if/when you have kids. I can imagine that does hurt the most. But keep her memory alive and always remember her. All you can do is do the best you can to take care of her for the time being. I will be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

Yes and I have been trying to keep her happy even if she forgets things half the time. I suggested she send out christmas cards this year, she hasn't been doing it these last few years and used to love doing so, so she told me to go pick out some cards for her because I am great at picking out things she really likes and that I'd help her write them out.

So I finally got out today to buy the cards and she has forgotten all about it and she looks at me like, What? I don't send christmas cards anymore...

After seeing how beautiful they are though she figured well since I already bought them (twist her arm why don't I lol) so at least I have little things like that still.

Enjoy the small things, it's great! I'm glad you posted a forum like this.

Doing things she loves and helping remind her will help the both of you. :)