A few years ago I was kicked out of school for bad grades. Id lost my job and spent months searching for a new one, then lost my only family (grandmother), and soon after my boyfriend of seven years broke up with me unexpectedly for someone else. I spent the next two years being a nomad..I spent the first year on people's couches (my financial situation wasnt stellar) and then another moving from apartment to apartment (roommates moving, getting kicked out of apartments, or roommates deciding they didnt like dogs after all..thankfully my apartment is only 100 more than a room!). A year later I was accepted back into university on a probationary situation - one where I bring my grades up in a semester. I worked my ass off, and Ive ended up with average grades even though Ive tried my hardest to keep up with working 10 hour days. I feel pretty deflated, lazy and useless at the moment. I killed myself and I apparently still dont understand the material.

Im physically exhausted from my 10 hour job, but need a degree to get something better. I can't seem to pull myself together enough to get the degree. I always feel so overwhelmed and like Im not doing enough to get to where I want to go..

Which leads me to the second part of all this - I dont know who I am now or where I see myself in 5 years. I dont know what hobbies I enjoy - I havent stopped moving since high school to do the things I enjoy - and the amount of days I get off I can count with one hand. I dont even get sick days! I work at Immigration Canada four months of the year to supplement my income (the 10 hour days amount to $700-800 paychecks that cover my base expenses but not tuition, medical/emergency costs and my pet care). Some days I feel like I need just another day off, or a few more hours of sleep and I will wake up ready to take on the world..but its not true, Im clearly too lazy to get anywhere in life. I dont feel like I have anywhere to go. Im clearly not intelligent enough to pull off a General Social Science degree - I had to give up any plans for medical school, and law school is just as far away because I cant get a degree. And even if I had a degree is law school what I want? I dont even enjoy anything anymore - least of all debates and banter.

Everyone I know tells me I need to take a break and focus on one thing - but focusing on getting through each assignment and test this year has amounted to low 60s and now with only a few days left before exams I find just reading my notes looks like another language..

Has anyone experienced this before? What helped you?

- I can kind of understand what you're going through. Last year, I was working full time and going to school full time. I was exhausted, and eventually decided to go to school full time. This was a mistake... I should have stayed working full time.

You should just continue to work, so you can pay for bills and go to school part time. Take a career test, which may help you find a direction you want to go in for school. Also, it may help to see a therapist so you can talk about how you can't enjoy things any more.

I cant really afford to not work full time, so its not even an issue to do less work and more school. My work has even told me I cant have the time off to write my exams (Im basically skipping work to go write them), I was told me that we dont have enough people and its not like Im really going to get a degree anyway. He brought up how I got kicked out of school once before and that my best bet would be to try to maintain a job there instead of wasting my time on school.

I havent had two days in a row off since last Christmas which isnt even by choice.. Ive actually decided the last few days that I need to find a new job to finish school, even if with the next one I have to give up some of my basic needs. My boss will accommodate my coworkers for exams and classes but I have to choose courses that are not during work hours and refuses to allow me to go to exams because of plans coworkers make after I "book" the time off.

Ive thought alot about this situation and reread my post to realize that unfortunately my biggest problem is my job - and the negativity. Im usually exhausted half way through the day, and sleep most of my time off away because I have to do so much to break even while trying to manage a Subway without any pay increases.

Thanks for replying Star_Cherry, it seriously shows you care and that means the world!<3

You're definitely not lazy. A lazy person wouldn't be working up to ten hours a day and still be trying to go to school despite not really knowing what they want yet. You're amazing.

Between school and having to work so often, you'll really need to find a job that's going to be flexible with your work hours, or at least treats you considerately :c I can barely handle three courses, and I only work part time. I can't imagine what kind of stress you're going through.

If university isn't working for you, you should try looking into going to a college. Even if you end up taking a trade that you're not completely in to, it'll be better than what you're doing now. There's a good chance you'll get hired right after graduating, and you'll be able to afford things more easily for sure. Once you get yourself in a good, stable place I think you'll be able to start thinking about the future.

- I'm glad I could help. :)

The unfortunate thing about being a manager is you don't have the flexibility that a regular employee does. But, your job is being very unsupportive emotionally. Saying that you're a failure at school and to stay with them is really a selfish thing for them to say. Also, that's not right that coworkers can take away your time off after you book the time. It sounds like your boss is favoring them over you. You should talk to someone higher up about that.

Do not give up your basic needs. If you have the choice to have your own place and eat, take it. Having to depend on someone else for shelter is not a good idea and can lead to more problems. While there's plenty of charities that will give out food, it's much better to be in control of what you eat.

Can you take online classes?

Im about a full semester from graduation, so Id rather not start college at this point. Id just be starting another degree when I could finish my current degree in a year and half (if i stick with part time school). I feel lazy though, I dont do much in terms of volunteering (which i used to do alot), and when I come home from work Id rather sleep than do much of anything. Some days even Subeta feels like work (lol!!). I miss jogging, but my doctor has told me to stay off my feet when I can because my bursae are getting destroyed from over use. I used to enjoy so many things and rarely stop moving until I went to bed, feeling like id accomplished something, but these days I just feel like Im wasting time, watching everyone else live.

- Im not a manager, at least not legally. He treats me like a manager in a lot of ways - I decide how to do things effectively, train people and make sure they stay on task. Yet, if someone isn't willing to to do their job I cant really fire them or cut back their hours. Apparently I cant even suggest nicely that we drop a few people who arent doing their tasks, not showing up or physically abusing the other staff (this is a thing I had to deal with last year, no joke). I manage the store but my boss has made it very clear (we had a huge fight this summer) that Im just one of the employees and don't require "special treatment" or have any say in how the store is run. He said that since ive been there 5 years this is an natural progression of my duties. His is to take naps in his office.. Considering my boss is also the owner there's not higher up - and what he says goes.

Side story: There was a girl in our store who was pregnant and her husband was laid off just after they received the news. She couldn't afford to have them both not working so she stayed, but started having complications with the pregnancy because shed be on her feet for 8 hours a day. She went to the boss with a doctor's recommendation and he told her to stop looking for special treatment (we don't get breaks for any reason) and when she called the labor board they just came in for coffee. My boss told her to tell them she was getting breaks or he'd fire her. It wasn't really an issue a few weeks later because she had a miscarriage at work. She wasn't allowed time to recover. So its not just me, but in recent years he's developed the desire to caterr to the new people to reduce turn over, giving them breaks and vacations to make them stay, while older members of the staff (me and a friend who recently returned) have to pick up the slack and shifts. I did skip today and turn off my phone so I could go to my exam..so thats a small victory.

My university doesn't do online classes..and aren't very flexible on the subject. Not that I blame them. I can imagine how easy it is to cheat on those courses. :( Pity! When a friend from another university told me that they were a thing I immediately contacted my university excited by the prospect.

and thank you guys for being so supportive <3

Based on the kind of schedule you have, you'll be burnt out at the end of the day. And it seems like you are most of the time. It's going to be very difficult to to work more things into your schedule. It's harsh to say it, it's the truth. You can't be at 200% all the time.

I've found that university is just a lot of crunch time. Everyone moves at their own pace, and even people that look like they have thier sh.t together could just as easily be in the opposite position. So never compare yourself to anyone else. Everyone struggles, some people just look successful because they're not giving up.

One day, you'll find something that you like doing, and you'll be good at it. The stress fo school and shitty job will be behind you, and you'll find things to enjoy again.

Your boss is an asshole. You need to leave that job. Being in that kind of work environment is just going to hurt you in the end. I think there's too much going on for you right now to have to deal with that kind of bullcrap.

- Oh gosh, it's one of THOSE bosses... the ones that abuse their power.

I would think the way he treated the pregnant lady is illegal. Also, taking naps on the job and treating the new employees better than the older ones is not acceptable. Can you talk to someone in the corporate part of Subway?

In the meantime, look for another job. Miserable work conditions are never worth the money.

As for school, that sucks that there isn't an online option. Take only one class next semester, so you're not overwhelmed.

Ive actually been toying with taking a semester off, and just working. It all depends on if I do well this semester and bring up my GPA - then I can go back to school. If not I wont be allowed back into school and not even an issue for me anymore.

We are franchises, not corporate, so any issues with management isn't really their problem.

Im not really comparing myself to others, but more to my grades. I need a certain GPA to stay in school, and that means getting high marks. Unfortunately Im not making those demands..

I do want to leave my job badly - but Im still looking for a new job - so prayers, please! ;)

- Oh great... so your boss has even more power... I say have another job confirmed and then call the labor department. At least you won't have the concern of losing your job over calling them.

That school is strict. I hope you get the grades you need so you can take a semester off.

After their lack of concern over my coworker's pregnancy problems Ive decided I dont trust the labor board. Ill stay as far away from them as possible..

Thankfully I have a test Monday for an office job, and if Im lucky ill be able to work somewhere better with contracts so that as an employee I'll have rights. :D

Sorry it took so long to get back to you - Ive been studying. brain dead XD

That's a really stressful situation. I hope your professors are at least interesting! It helps a lot. Information just sticks better with someone that keeps you engaged.

I hope your interview went well!

- No worries... it's finals for many students. And yay for dead brains. :P

I understand about the labor board. Seems like a corrupt organization if they don't care about the worker's rights.

I really hope you got the office job! crosses fingers

and thank you! :D crosses fingers too!