But it doesn't! I'm so frustrated and sad when people forget that there are other relationships that can be same sex. Asexual, bisexual, and pansexual people can be in same-sex relationships! It's not just for homosexual people!

Like, myself for example. I'm Asexual, and I'm in a relationship with another woman. It's not a gay relationship, because neither of us is gay. We're asexual. It's just frustrating that people think there's only gay and straight relationships and throw everyone else under the bus! :(

I especially like when I say that I'm bisexual and then they are "no, you are just confused".

No. I'm not.

Ugh, I understand that feeling. People hear me say I'm asexual and they're all MAYBE YOU HAVENT FOUND THE RIGHT PERSON YET

Crappiest thing people who don't understand say. I like to tell them maybe THEY haven't found the right person and one day we could bat for the same team. watches em squirm

Haha yeah! That doesn't really work in my family though. They're very stubbornly subtle-bigots.

I've never gotten much trouble from my family, except from my aunt and that was more a level of sexual activity thing and not a matter of who I was attracted to. I'm demisexual panromantic, but at the time I was hypersexual as a result of abuse.

I've never really thought about that before. I always just assumed there were the two relationship types without giving it much thought. Thanks for the eye opener.

Or when non-binary people are thrown into same-sex relationships when they aren't even homosexuals.

I wish strangers wouldn't make assumptions.

Yeah. Not even strangers sometimes, though, because I've had people who I used to be friends with ask me "so are you gay yet," as if my having a girlfriend would magically make me No Longer Asexual.

I've actually never really considered that people who identify as Asexual would want to be in a relationship. I only know two asexuals, and both of them are pretty against dating in general.

Well, Asexuality is a spectrum. I'm not sexually attracted to people, and I'm not interested in sex in general. So I'm a sex-repulsed asexual. I'm interested in romantic relationships, though.

People who aren't interested in romantic relationships would be considered 'Aromantic,' AKA not interested in romantic relationships.

My favorite is when people assume I'm straight because I'm in a heterosexual relationship (I'm bi). Or when they think that being bi means you MUST satisfy both attractions at the same time and you can't possibly have a committed relationship with a single person. WHY MUST EVERYTHING BE SO BINARY??

I'm pansexual and I've never dated any gender other than a cismale, however I'm totally all for it (obviously). Because of this I've never had to really well, "announce" my sexuality because people of course, would never ask, since me, a cis female, dating a cis male is the norm. A lot of my friends know I'm pansexual, my boyfriend knows and none of them have any issues with it at all. I told my mom just around two years ago and she was so confused. "But I thought you only liked men?" "Why?" "Because you only date men." "All the girls around here are shitty though." "Oh." And she like seems to be awkward about bringing it up but. I kind of want to randomly announce it to my huge family like. Oops I also like girls and people who don't assign with a gender which is something you guys don't understand at alllll~

I've personally never asked. I don't really consider who anyone likes to really be my business though.

Yeah, this. :( People can just stop assuming things. I know it's tough, I do it too, it's the culture most of us were raised in, but it does suck to put your expectations on other people's personal lives. And there are a loooot of really rude af people out there. People assume I'm straight too now that I'm dating my boyfriend, we're both pansexual but it's so much hassle to explain to people. At least we're lucky we won't get random harassment for our sexualities when we're together.

up until my most recent relationship i've only ever been with cis girls (and identified as a homoromo ace cis girl), but the whole "gay" thing was kinda off bc ace...

also though in my relationship right now, i'm genderfluid and so is my boyfriend, i'm polyromantic + demisexual, he's pan, and every now and then people think we are straight lmao.... plus everyone made a huge deal that i was dating a GUY because everyone i guess thought i was a raging lesbian :^)

Actually, it's mainly because of Subeta that I know ss relationships don't only equal gay/lesbian. My friends, except for one who is pan and one who is genderfluid, are all rather...straight, lol.

So i'm in a straight relationship with a transgender male. Meaning he was born female but switched to male. And it really grinds my gears when people say im in a "gay" relationship. BECAUSE I'M NOT, I am in a relationship with a man and we are both straight. Ugh it's so frustrating. I hope other people understand this?

I'm a nonbinary transgender male in a relationship with another man, and we certainly joke about being in a "gay" relationship a lot. But I mean.. I'm not gay? Far from it, I'm pan like a bunch of people on this thread. And sometimes I don't even feel wholly male. It's ridiculous that same sex/same gender relationships immediately imply homosexuality. :I

I do not consider this a malicious thing, necessarily. More a natural process blended with lack of experience, than formed of any intended prejudice. Our brains are lazy, and they make leaps to categorise stimuli, just to make it easier for us to navigate our surroundings. Obviously, we can only work with the experiences and knowledge we have.

Most of the countries who have legalised same-sex marriage have done so recently. In the UK at least, the media often terms this 'gay marriage'. So average Joe straight middle aged bloke, who has never really had reason to think about LGBTQ+ in his life, is only just learning details and acceptance regarding the most well-known minority sexuality. When it comes to others, pan and ace and the like, Joe doesn't know his arse from his elbow. So, what if Joe sees two ladies holding hands and/or kissing? "Oh! That's that gay marriage thing, I heard about that". A person may well have heard of homosexuality, so that may be the categorisation they opt for as they know of no alternative possibilities.

I also think that most people assume everyone, EVERYONE, does the do. Again, Joe sees the ladies, thinks "well they look like they do waaaaaay more than friendship -> logical conclusion: they must be, ahem, 'at it'", and boom, labelled as a gay relationship.

Please, understand; I'm not saying it is 'right' for people to assume as much, or arguing against your reaction etc. I know how frustrating and disheartening it can be when everyone is oblivious to even the mere existence of a big, important aspect of your self. But I think as follows: we (humans) are only just legally accepting homosexuality in some countries, and in others it is still punishable :/. It clearly is, unfortunately, a sloooooow change indeed. I feel that it will be a long time coming before the media starts telling all the average Joes out there accurate facts about pansexuality, bisexuality and asexuality etc. For this reason, I encourage consideration of the perspectives that may result in a person calling your relationship 'gay'. I don't want anyone to spend their lifetime waiting for everyone else to catch up and grow a clue, all the while thinking that other people purposefully choose to behave in a way that causes upset. It is possible that they simply don't know that it could hurt anyone :(

Note: obviously, if you politely explain to someone that you don't like them using the term gay to describe your relationship, they ought to listen and respect your request. They might slip up sometimes, or not understand, but the important people should be supportive and make an effort; that is what counts. If someone continues to just call you gay even after you ask them not to, that is just plain rude, and anyone in this situation should ring me up and I'll sort them out for you, ok? :p