Yes, I give up on everything At school, with my family, with people I'm about to give up on life I'm done. I'm so done about everything. It seems that things that made me happy before don't anymore, I'm angry most of the time, and if I'm not, I get so way too easily. I used to smile the whole, friggin, day, but now I can't. I'm crying right now, and I've been doing so the last 2 hours. I have an anxiety disorder (pretty severe) and I've been recently diagnosed with depression. I have trichotillomania, too. And. I'm. Done I can't I feel alone all the time, the only one who can fix this is my boyfriend, but we are in different schools, so we don't see daily. He also has depression, anxity, and used to cut himself, now he only scratches his arms. He helps me a lot, and I do the same for him, but I'm scared he'll live me if I keep up like this. I'm so mentally exhausted I can't help to sleep in class. My grades are droping, I don't know if I'll graduate, and I only have 1 month left to do so.

I hurt myself. I scratch my arms. Peel the skin off my fingrs until they bleed non stop so someone can FINALLY NOTICE I'm alive. I'm sick and tired of people laughting at me because who I am, because beaing a pansexual genderfluid in a country like this is a SIN and just PLAIN WRONG. I'M TIRED BECAUSE I CAN'T BE MYSELF WITHOUT PEOPLE LAUGHTING AT IT. And I'm tired of feeling alone I need friends I hate my family and I'm confused and with no idea of what to so

please help me, because I'm hitting the botton. Just... Please talk to me

- I was feeling the same way you did last week. I wanted to end it all, but my boyfriend saved me. Can you use Skype or something else to talk to your boyfriend? It's not the same as being next to him physically, but it's better than nothing, because it sounds like you really need him right now. If he really loves you, he'll stick by you no matter what.

Can you also talk to a counselor at your school to at least get you through school?

Maybe you need medication for the anxiety. This way, you can start making friends. I used to have crippling anxiety. But since I started taking medication, I've been able to function again and make friends.

Thank you so much for your answer! My problem with my boyfriend, is that everytime I'm really bad, he goes bad, and becomes angry with himself, so I can't talk to him about this, cause it hurts him, and I don't want that either. We used to skype, but he got his laptop robbed some days ago, as well as his cellphone...

I tried today! AND WHOA. HE HELPED LIKE. NOTHING. "yeah ale, so, okay, just take your medication and distract yourself, like... Studing!" "but I can't concentrate, that's the problem, I won't understand" "... well, try? ._." I hate him. So. Much.

And I'm taking my medication, I'll change it today, because I got a new prescription, but... I have social anxiety, and just can't comunicate well with people, I'm scared of... ALL of them. I only got a boyfriend because we met online before we got to meet in person, if not, things would be different D:

I'll try it out, however, and thank you again! I'm glad you ar okay, or at least better right now

- You're welcome.

That really sucks that he was robbed. But, the fact that he is also unstable concerns me. You need someone who is stable and able to handle your disorders. Two unstable people together just ends terribly from my own experience. I'm not saying to break up with him... but based on what you said, he's definitely not someone you can look up to for help.

He clearly doesn't understand what depression does to you. My ex would say the same things when I told him how I felt. He would also say things like "cheer up". Like how is that supposed to help anyone with depression? It actually made things worse for me.

I hope your new medication works better for you. Also, can you try to meet new people online? If that's how you met your boyfriend, maybe you can do that to meet friends. Having a good support system will do wonders for you.

You need to talk to the doctor who diagnosed these disorders and get some more intensive treatment You will likely need therapy in addition/(maybe) in place of medication and it may not be covered by your insurance. This page has a lot of other very useful links and numbers.

You can PM me any time you feel like you're spiraling and I'll try to help.

Oh dear, I'm really sorry you're going through this. Reading your post was like a time warp for me, I used to be exactly where you are right now. I suffered with extreme depression and social anxiety for 8 years and it's only been in the last few years that I've learned to manage these things.

Where you are right now is a very scary and terrible place to be, but you can learn to cope and live with this. Anxiety is manageable, and so is depression. Talk to a counselor at school, tell someone that you are having these problems. It doesn't have to be your parents, but try to talk to someone at your school so they can help you make adjustments to your class schedules so it can take some of the stress off of you. You can try taking online classes, or cut your course load. You might not have all the credits you need to finish at the end of the year, but you can complete school at your own pace. There's no time limit, and there's nothing wrong with upgrading or taking an extra year. I ended up upgrading after high school at an alternative school and it was so much easier doing it that way than trying to conform to mainstream education.

The most important thing is to talk to someone who can help you, and that is probably not your boyfriend right now. He's young and in the same boat you are, and while it's important for you two to be there for each other, you both need help from a professional. Please don't hate him, keep in mind that he's just a kid and he won't know how to solve these problems for you, as he's struggling himself.
The thing that helped my social anxiety the most was being forced out of my comfort zone and having to adapt to an environment I was VERY uncomfortable in. I was admitted to the hospital and had to live in a ward with 8 other kids; it was the most difficult thing I've ever done but I think it saved my life - I honestly don't think I'd be here now if I hadn't learned to cope with my anxiety in such an extreme place. Not saying this is what you have to do - but I highly recommend you get some help, and attend group therapy. Try to push yourself a little bit, learn how to manage your anxiety instead of letting it control you. It's terrifying, but you are totally capable.

I hope you're okay right now, depression will take you through a lot of lows in life but you have to remember that it doesn't last forever, you'll have great days too. With some help, you can learn to manage this. Take care of yourself dear.