As the topic says, I'm thinking about breaking up with my boyfriend and I'm absolutely heartbroken. We've been officially together for over a year and "involved" for about two. We briefly lived together over the summer, but I decided to move out because I wasn't ready for it, even though I thought I was. He's a slob, rarely cleans his house (I did most of the cleaning when I was there), no motivation, hasn't gone to work in two weeks and ignores me for video games when I'm at his house. It's like video games occupy this entire life and he plays them on hours on end, with little to no interaction with me. I've talked to him about these things that bothers me, multiple times, but he either a) says he'll fix it and never does or b) gets mad at me and attempts to make -me- feel bad for being unhappy. I also struggle with depression and gets mad at me when I get into a funk for no reason. Last week, he told me he was "sorry for being a shitty boyfriend" and claimed he was going change. I wanted to believe him, but he's told me things like this before and nothing has been fixed. He's made promises like this before, but stupid me always falls for it and believes it. I do love him and care for him, but I don't know how much longer I can wait for these "changes".

A month or two ago, we almost broke up, but decided to work on things. Stupid me thought that things were going to be okay, but alas, I was wrong. Things were good for two weeks and he even took me out on dates, which he would never do. After that two week mark, I guess he felt like he "won" me back and stopped.

I just really need some support and advice from someone. :(

I'm sorry you're going through this. You are definitely not stupid for any of your decisions and you shouldn't feel like you're the bad person for what he is doing to you. I was in a similar situation to you when I was in high school with a guy named John. He would ignore me, wasn't a typically clean person, and would do the "empty promises" thing. I thought I was stupid for staying with him for a year and a half because I loved him and I felt that my feelings didn't matter, only his. I would constantly do things for him but he wouldn't do for me. Long story short, one night I just mustered up enough courage to finally dump him and that was the end of it. He didn't even try to convince me to stay, just a flat "ok" and that was the end. It really shows how little somebody can care for you. I don't know what advice I can really offer... If you want him to change, you should really sit him down and explain all the things he's doing to you. In the long run, you really can't force people to change, they have to realize and see it themselves... Sorry I'm not a bigger help, but I figure if you read about someone who was in kind of the same boat, you wouldn't feel alone about it.

I was in a similar situation not too long ago. My girlfriend and I used to get along really well (might have been the honeymoon phase, whatever). We ended up always snapping at each other for really childish reason. I was always the one feeling sad and it affected my life in general. I still don't understand what happened, what triggerd the mess: I don't care anymore. We ended up parting ways but stayed friends.

Ask yourself if you are really happy in your relationship. Try one last time to state your point and lay down the facts and how you feel. If he's still acting the way he is right now, maybe it's time to move on. I'm not saying to break up with him, but you should value yourself and think about your needs.

- This is somewhat like my situation 2 months ago. I broke up with my ex, because I was tired of the way he was treating me. He was neglecting me and got upset whenever I got depressed. But, I stayed with him, because I was in love. I let his treatment slide and giving myself excuse after excuse as to why he behaved the way he did.

What finally broke me is him getting mad at me showing up at his place unexpected. I only did it, because I was concerned that something happened to him due to him not answering is phone for over a day. He told me to never show up unexpected ever again. A few days later, he said I was "harassing and annoying" him. All I did was see him once a week. I almost never texted him and definitely didn't call him. This is when I decided to break up with him. Also, I was starting to date another ex at the same time. This ex gave me the courage to break up with my first ex.

"A month or two ago, we almost broke up, but decided to work on things. Stupid me thought that things were going to be okay, but alas, I was wrong. Things were good for two weeks and he even took me out on dates, which he would never do. After that two week mark, I guess he felt like he "won" me back and stopped."

This is EXACTLY what happened with my ex. He was amazing for 2 weeks, but reverted back to being a selfish hermit.

The sad truth is your boyfriend is never going to change. It doesn't matter how much you love him... It sounds like he doesn't love you the same way. He sounds selfish and not ready for a relationship. You tried fixing it before, and it didn't work. Leave him... there's better men out there.

Hey there, sorry to hear things aren't working out for you. If you're unhappy with your relationship, and you've tried to work it out, don't feel bad about wanting to end it. If he's not willing to commit to the changes he's promising you, then he is at fault for the relationship turning sour. Especially since you've tried to talk to him about it beforehand. I don't know either of you personally, so there's not much input I can give; but I do hope you can figure out what is best for you. Remember to think of yourself first, and your own happiness. I was in a relationship where I put my own happiness and feelings aside, and put him first and ended up hurt much worse. If you need anyone to talk to, you can always pm me; I'll listen and try and help you as best I can ! Best wishes

Thank you all for your support and your advice. We broke up today and I'm upset over it, but I realized he won't change his ways and give me the kind of love that I need. I'm going to be okay, but I just wanted to thank you all for your support <3

Not a problem. It's going to be rough for awhile, but you need to move on and you will :) I know it's hard, but you'll feel better.

You're welcome. I'm sorry you had to do that, but if it makes you happier, then good for you. If you need further support you can always come to me. :)

I know I'm a little late to this, but I'm glad to hear that you got out before he wasted any more of your time!

Of course dear uwu Hope everything turns out well for you !

- I'm glad I was able to help.

You did the best thing you could for yourself. Yes, it hurts for a while. Mine took about a month to completely get over (basically the entire time I was with my 2nd ex... a mistake within itself). But, you'll come out a stronger person once the pain is gone. :)