I love the advice I get from Subeta, so here I am again. :D

So I've been called dismissive a few times before. I don't disagree at all. Part of the reason I'm called that- and the reason I'm here- is I dislike confrontation. I REALLY hate arguing.

I don't like to share my findings with people. I don't like to talk about myself, either. Sometimes I do it anyway, but when people start to pester me with questions like "why are you like this", I almost feel offended though I don't express it. If someone questions something I "believe" in (scientific facts or spirituality, it can be anything), I become dismissive because I can't be bothered to explain why I believe in it. My beliefs usually have years worth of experiences stacked under them and I do NOT want to get into lengthy lectures about what those experiences entailed. Frankly, it's none of their business. But sometimes people get pushy. A lot of people can't agree to disagree.

Sometimes I do appreciate a good debate, but I have to be in the mood for it. If something more interesting is going on- maybe there is a new person in the room or whatever else it may be- I am in no way interested in having a debate in the corner. I don't consider myself irresponsible about knowledge either: I love to do research and test things out for myself.

Obviously my personality is hugely incompatible with "knowledge vigilants", who just HAVE to make sure I've absorbed every possible detail about modern science or whatever else. All they want to do is debate; however, normally their only strengths are rote memory learning and they have no capacity to come up with new ideas themselves. They aren't the kind of people I want to have debates with. I prefer the philosophical talks.

So, what do I do when that happens? I need a nice, long list of diplomatic solutions for dodging questions in a way that isn't too obvious or offensive to the other person. I'm not very good at pretending I think they're right about something, but I also know I'm far too stubborn to have my mind changed by them. It ends up being such a colossal waste of time. Occasionally I will meet a person whose opinions I practically worship, and I just take it ALL in, but it's rare to meet someone like that. Even then, no debates really take place, and "agreeing to disagree" is easy to do with them.

tl;dr: I'm picky about who I decide to learn from. How do I dismiss people more politely, or otherwise avoid arguments?

Im normally one to avoid social interaction all together me being a strongly introverted person. If i have a good sense about someone and a good conversation crops up usually i just let the topics travel and if there is something we dont agree with then try to smoothly shift the conversation to something new. Or just drop the topic and pull up a new topic maybe revolving around some current events. If the persno insists on the debate or argument and pushes their beliefs in your face with religon, science or the like then clearly theyre not worth befriending for you. It doesnt hurt to indulge someone in their beliefs which i do to a degree depending on the topic id much rather avoid having someone talk down to the things that i believe.

Equal indulgence and possibly creatively merging individual thoughts is wonderful though! Like considering how scientist disprove "god" with the big bang theory, who's to say god didnt create the universe in such a way? By power of will a singular conciousness creating the universe from a singular point at the center of the universe!

I wont go further though, its only a thought. Knowledge is vital certainly but not everything is totally concrete. Known knowledge from years past has been continually proven and disproven and changed! That is why i am so open! I would truly enjoy a philosophical chat with you if youre open to it!

(Sorry for making this so long, i tend to ramble a bit)

I know how you feel. I hate confrontation too. I hate how if you express your opinions to someone, they feel they have to jump at you and say "no you are dead wrong! You are stupid for even thinking that." or "are you high?" or "i am offended by your opinions"......cant we all just get along? I tried to voice my opinion on here because I like to express myself, well...that was a mistake. I got people telling me that I was very childish and stupid for thinking that. Uhh, I just said that was MY opinion and beliefs...who cares if they dont believe what I believe? We are all different, not everyone is going to believe in the same things. Some people still believe the world is flat and everything revolves around us, for goodness sakes! Freedom of speech, we still have it. I wish people would learn to respect other peoples' beliefs.

Like, im a Christian and I read on here that people think all Christians are hypocrites. Well, I wont argue that. Alot of them are...I wont deny it. I think to some degree the human race are hypocritical. I have been reading that alot of people think Christians are delusional and believe in fairy tales. Well, that is your belief. I wont cram anything down your throat. I would actually try to explain if you wanted to (im not that good at explaining though :( ) but everyone is so sensitive and uptight that if you mention the word "Christian" they get all upset...I dont understand it....I dont even understand racism...why be racist? (actually, hehe, im scared of everything....not sure what that is called...but ill admit it...people scare me.)

I am totally with you, I am sick and tired of all this bullhonky. Why can't we all just get along? :( Maybe that is why I like to be a wallflower....

Do you like talking about ancient history??? I loooooove talking about ancient Rome and Greek things. :D I personally believe the American Government is just like the ancient Roman Government that didnt work back then. It works now apparently...Rich snobby senators all controlling everything. (...that is just my belief...dont yell at me :/ )

im not very good with history and politics sorry. it was never my best subject.

i was raised christian but my beliefs are um... different than what they were before. i believe in a god most certainly im no athiest, but i have some mild skepticism about some things with the bible as it has been altered many times through history by people attempting to control others through religion. plus people skew and overthink its meaning (those end of the world scares a few years ago ugh) i cannot deny that jesus existed many years ago as well.

i dont like the idea of "religion" though... heaven and hell? purgatory? if we are all a part of god why must we worship and "fear" him. an all knowing and omnipotent being need not "punish" in my opinion. the possibility that we exist to experience things god cannot as an existing nonphysical entity. i cant imagine a mother or genetic scientist or the like wishing for the being they just created to bow down and worship them but instead love them. if you wish to know more message me because i have plenty to divulge if you wish to know. there are still more things i need to learn and work out.

in a nutshell i wish to find enlightenment and inner peace. the modern world and its stresses interfere GREATLY sigh i recently had an internal breakdown and nearly made myself ill, im not sad and tired and feel like i have a rock in my stomach but im better... my strong attachment to my devices and video games doesnt help either as well as working and studying... no time for yoga or exercise or meditation.

if you care to find my recent post in "issues and advice" about this breakdown be my guest. its rather long and personal...

- well, you and I can be as upset about how people think all we want, but it won't change anything.

- I'm into that whole enlightenment scene but that's part of why I don't like to debate with others. Buddhism/spirituality and shaolin kung fu are the things I'm most into but it's impossible to explain those things to someone who doesn't practice it. It's heavy philosophy without many religious implications. If I were to try to explain it to an athiest, I'd point at quantum physics, because both subjects advocate observation and acceptance, acknowledging EXACTLY what we are on an atomic level in order to humble ourselves.

But this is hard to explain because many people can only relate to ego. The idea of meditating on being nothing doesn't really click, for them. Ultimately I end up getting frustrated because this way of thinking- however much I love it- disconnects me from others. It's hard to understand that being constantly aware that I'm like 90% empty space really changes my world view.

Honestly I don't blame people for it. I wouldn't understand what it's like to work on a safari if I'm not a ranger. I wouldn't understand what it's like to climb a mountain if I'm not a climber. To me that's all the same, I am not qualified to express an opinion on these matters. Problem is I expect the same mindset from others, so when they press for opinions I get very angry.

I chose this path so to speak because the life I had required me to. It's simple. I haven't had a different life so who am I to really understand others?

Unfortunately that just doesn't work for everybody... and sometimes a confrontation isn't avoidable. Sometimes you have to be friends with people you don't like. So it's hard to figure out what to do about it.

True...true...it will just make us more stressed out....and i have enough stress with my family.

Opps, i forgot about this. I get confused with philosophy so Im not sure i could understand a whole lot. I just understand what I ....understand and believe....if that makes sense...oh I try hard to understand other things, I just....get confused about it....:( i fluster myself....

yeah... unfortunately not every friend you have will hold all of the interests and beliefs that you have. my best friend in the world isnt very much like me now that i think about it. he's a bubbly super extrovert with TONS of other friends. but even still we can have a friendly discussion about topics we think differently in. mostly we talk about what we DO have in common though which is mostly videogames and art. or we just have silly conversations. even so he would always be there to help me if i needed it and thats what matters. having friends who accept what you believe and will be there for you no matter what.

even so its still nice to find a person who believes strongly in the same things you do! you shouldnt let it distance you from people but instead let it be a way to find NEW friends. maybe asking a discrete question or slipping in a comment that revolves around your beliefs without being too forward or pushy could be the way to go? or going ahead and asking them about THEIR beliefs first, though depending on the person this could provoke a pushy religious attack Q.Q oh my... no... nevermind. maybe if you get a good grasp of their personality first and are convinced they wont.

anyway... like you said arguments are inevitable and unavoidable sometimes. but eventually youll find more people that you can relate to.

just because its something you dont understand doesnt mean you never will. i mean... i never used to understand spanish very well but through study and classes i do now XD some things take time and study and a lot of thought. being a bio major is hard and i dont understand everything but i wont give up! >:3

not that you need to study philosophy... unless youre in college because youre required to take one phiolosophy class for your general education.

no need to get flustered! XP