I don't know if anyone here wants to know about this or can help me but I have suffered from depression for the past 10 years on and off and over the past 4 years I have slowly lost any sexual appetite I had before.

I am engaged to a wonderful, patient man who doesn't try to push me or anything and leaves everything in my control. I feel guilty because I love him so much and I know he still wants to have sex but even though I am still attracted to him, I have no desire to have sex at all!

Is there anyone else whose had similar experiences who can offer me advice? Or just to let me know I'm not alone and broken in feeling this way :(

You are definitely not broken or alone, and you shouldn't feel embarrassed talking about it. I think lots of people can relate.

A loss of libido is a common side effect of depression/depression meds, unfortunately. I used to have a super high sex drive when I was dating an asshole- then, I started taking medication. I'm now experiencing the same problem you are; I'm in a relationship with a really sweet, gentle guy whom I love, and who doesn't pressure me into anything, but sometimes I have almost no desire to be physically intimate. I don't fantasize or have sexual thoughts interrupt my day anymore, either.

I'm still trying to work out how to fix it.

Thanks I appreciate knowing I'm not alone. I've been with my Fiancée for 6 1/2 years now so he's experienced me with both a high sex drive and a non-existent sex drive. I feel guilty for not being able to but the lack of sex drive means when I try it hurts too much for either of us to enjoy it :(

hug Not alone. I'm not in a place to give true, medical advice. But I have friends who have had really hard struggles with sex and were able to get sexual counseling and change up some meds that were affecting their sex drive badly. I know it sounds odd and awkward but it helped so much!!!

Meds and Hormones...ugh. They can really mess you up. As can other things, especially since you mention struggling with depression. So glad you have a loving, kind man who is there for you. <3

I definitely know how you feel. I've dealt with depression since I was 13 and I've been on and off medication since I was 18. I'm now 22 and I'm currently not on any medication, though I've been considering of going to the doctor to put back on it. I felt like my libido was higher when I was on medication, for the time that I felt it was working. Now that I'm not on medication, I have no desire for sex at all. It does suck when your boyfriend wants to have sex and you have no desire to. I know it frustrates my boyfriend and I appreciate his patience with me. Whenever we do have sex, we spend a lot of time on foreplay, to see if I can get in the mood. If I don't, then we stop and just cuddle, lol. I'm not sure if you're on medication, but it never hurts to talk to a doctor about your depression and low sex drive.

I hope this helps and I hope things improve for you!

Thanks it's nice to have support even if you've not been in the same situation.

I tried talking to a doctor about the pain and she just suggested using lubricant and kind of dismissed what I was trying to tell her. I am not at a different doctors surgery and the doctor is male and old so I don't know if I could be comfortable talking to him about it.

I understand that it could be difficult opening up to someone about your situation, especially an older man. But, that's what they are there for! Or, if you have a gynecologist, you could schedule an appointment with them. Since it's a more narrow field, maybe it won't be as difficult to open up. Good luck, though! <3

There is just the one doctor at my surgery, one nurse and one part-time mid-wife because it's a small residential one. I may have to just suck it up and talk to him though because it really makes me feel crappy that I can't have sex because I feel even foreplay is out of the option for us most of the time :(

Ah, I understand what you meant now, sorry. But, like I said, it's their job to handle this stuff, so there's no need to feel ashamed or embarrassed. I'm sure your doctor has dealt with stuff similar to your situation and I bet he's had to deal with even more awkward things. <3

You're probably right but I still feel ashamed at having to talk to him about such stuff.

No need to feel ashamed! Although it sucks, things like this do happen, and that's perfectly okay. Maybe you can take your fiancé with you, to ease the tension and to have a supportive shoulder there with you.

Yeah maybe I could ask him as I guess it involves him as well. Thanks for reassuring me, it's helping :)

I think it would be a good idea for him to come along. I know I would feel better if I had my boyfriend there with me as well. I'm glad I could help and good luck! <3

Yes you have helped, thank you! I am going to ask him to go with me when I can next get an appointment.