I'm debating whether to keep on going to school full time or to take a break and go to work full time. The problem is living with my mom is making my depression unbearable. I can't do my school work, because I don't have the motivation to do so. I love my degree program, but the depression is making it so I don't care about it.

My mom is very controlling and hates me just because I'm not a clone of her. She says terrible things about me nearly every day. I've tried to tune her out, but it doesn't work for me. So, I've been thinking of getting a full time job to move out. I would take 1 or 2 classes at a time to keep school moving. I did this for 2 years, so I know it works for me.

Does this sound like a good decision or should I tough it out for another year and finish school faster?

I am in the same boat. However, I choose to finish school as soon as I can. You have to make a list and decides on the pros and cons. As for the depression, can't you see someone at school? Or elsewhere?

Does your school have housing? If not, can you move out and find a roommate? Stay with another relative? Just rent a room in someone else's house to save on costs? I think going from full time school to full time work is a bit extreme, I don't see why you can't just go half on both?

I was in the exact same boat as you about two years ago. I was living with my parents who had a massive impact on my mental wellbeing. There was long time physical and emotional abuse there which manifested in severe depression and anxiety, and that had terrbile affects on my schooling. I failed university three years in a row because I was unable to go to class or complete my assignments on time. Then, when I was 19, I had enough of the shit and made the decision to move out. This option worked well for me. I took a break from school for a while and just focused on working. I chose not to go for the half/half or part-time study option because I thought focusing on two at once would be too stressful for me, but it may work for you. After I moved out I gained a lot of independence and confidence and learnt a lot about myself. It helps to discover who you are away from the environment that brought you down. You will likely grow a lot as a person.

The freedom is wonderful but it can be hella scary. There are a lot of things you need to think about and prepare for. For instance, I didn't have my license and didn't intend to take the test anytime soon, so I made sure I picked a house where I could walk to and from work easily, that wouldn't get taxing. Some important things to consider: -Do you have savings? If you are fully dependent on your own finances, you need to make sure you have a safety net for when the unexpected happens. -Do you or would you earn enough to be able to save and treat yourself, rather than just living paycheck to paycheck? This can have a big influence on your personal satisfaction. You need to be able to have fun -Have you made a budget? You will need to factor in groceries, bills (get all gas utilities if you can, much cheaper) possibly fuel/car expenses, misc personal costs like cigarettes or pet supplies if they apply to you, and of course rent- a good rule of thumb is that you can afford 30% of your weekly income to go towards rent. -Do you have a good support network? Friends and other family members that you can go to for help/advice? It's important not to feel isolated/overwhelmed. -I wholeheartedly agree with Dandelina. If you can share housing with someone else, that will be your best and most affordable option. -Sometimes you can't afford to be too picky on the aesthetics/design of the house. I would reccommend living in the cheapest place possible that won't simultaneously make you want to die. -You will need to look after yourself every day. Doing the dishes, making meals, doing the laundry, going grocery shopping, cleaning, it can all get very tiring. You need to able to cope and balance all of the everyday chores with work and/or school.

I have just recently returned to studying part time whilst working and I think taking the time off really helped me find my centre again. Long story short, moving out isn't something you can just jump into. You need to consider it carefully. But I personally found that even with all the challenges living on my own brought me, I would still chose that over the cycle of hell that was living with my parents any day of the week. Plus, there were major improvements to my emotional health and school performance. My suggestion would be to live with your parents for as long as you can possibly stand it, but once it's feasible and you've reached that breaking point, get out of there. Only you know where that line is.

- I'm weighing my options now. I don't have many classes left, but I can't hold on for another year living with my mom.

I'm taking an anti-depressant, but it can only do so much. I was going to see a therapist now that I have a few free sessions. I wish I could see the one that I saw last year, but I can't afford it and the insurance I have doesn't cover him.

My bf is super supportive emotionally and helps by driving me around and buys food. He's keeping me from completely losing my mind.

- I'm going to a community college, so no housing is available. I want to find a roommate, but I can't afford rent right now. Work opportunities at my job are scarce, which is why I'm trying to find another job. I need to work full time if I move out, because I pay for everything - car, insurance, food, gas, rent, etc. School is covered by loans.

One thing I was thinking of was to sell my car and ride the bus or carpool with friends. That would help me afford a place faster, but I hate depending on others for transportation.

- I actually moved out last year and had a roommate, but quit my full time job to go to school full time. Because of this and my roommate ditching me, I couldn't afford to live on my own. I asked my bf at the time to let me live with him, but he didn't care about my situation and said no. I had nowhere else to go to, so I had to move back in with my mom.

I'm already fully independent. I've been taking care of myself since I was a kid. I have a good handle on how to budget... I just need more work opportunities to afford rent. The only thing I want in terms of living conditions is to live near school. There are a lot of cheap places around there and I'm sure I can find a roommate easily.

Oh, sorry! I didn't think to ask if you had tried moving out previously. Given what you've been saying I would suggest taking a break from school and focusing on getting some steady and reliable income, so that you can get a good bit of savings and assurance behind you to move out again. Deferring from school will take a source of stress out of your life at the moment and allow you to focus on getting out of your parents house and improving your emotional health. Plus, if you are working a considerable amount of hours, that will get you time away from your mother, which sounds like a good thing in this scenario. Do you perhaps have a friend or another relative you can stay with short-term while you get work organised?

Remember that your income doesn't have to come directly from one source. If you can't get full time work, maybe you can work casual shifts at a few different places. It might also be worth considering odd jobs like tutoring, baby sitting, dog walking etc. Every little bit helps. Your plan to stick by the school area sounds like a good one. I think it will increase your chances of finding a long term housemate if they are also a student there. Perhaps once you get the work sorted and have moved out, then you can return to studying and working part time, or vise versa. That's at least what I would do in your situation. I've done it before, and would do it again.

- No worries. I registered for 2 classes for next semester. One is only available once a year during spring and the other is something I really want to do - costumes. If I end up not being able to handle them, I'll drop out before the deadline which is not until mid January.

I don't have any relatives that I can tolerate living nearby. The only ones live 6 hours away. Most friends and my bf live with their parents and the ones that are on their own already have roommates or a bf. So no, I don't have any one.

I'm trying to get a hostess job to go along with my current job. I'm also going to start looking into other random part time jobs. The odd jobs is something to look into. Tutoring might be a good one for me, since I've done it before for free. I just hope I get the motivation to apply for jobs soon...

You should definitely try out tutoring, especially if you have some experience already. It looks good on a resume! There's a few websites out there dedicated to advertising yourself as a tutor/helping students find a tutor, so maybe do a google search and make a few ads. I have used universitytutor.com in the past and have had some success with that. Pay rates are generally good, too.

Applying for jobs can be tiring and does require motivation, but try to think of the end goal I guess.

- Okay, thank you for the tutoring suggestion! I'll take a look at it whenever my stupid motivation decides to kick in.

On the plus side, I have an interview for the hostess job!