Hi everyone!

So I know that I've got the wrong holiday right now, but I'm trying to get this guy done before Christmas and I'd really appreciate any help that I can get. Would you guys mind reading over Rudolph's story and giving me some feedback? I'm not the best writer, so I'm particularly interested in constructive criticism about how to improve my writing style, but honestly, any kind of feedback (writing style, story development issues, general impressions, etc) would be great!

Also, if anybody knows a good chibi artist who'd be willing to draw this guy and who doesn't charge an arm and a leg, that would be fantastic!

Thank you all in advance! :)

Story

"Rudolph's favorite time of day was that lull right after dinner and before bedtime. The minute his mama started to clear the leftover plates of boiled potatoes and steaming meatballs, Rudolph would squirm in his seat, fidgeting with anticipation until either his mama or his papa noticed and sent him off with an indulgent chuckle. He would run up the narrow stairs to the bathroom and draw a hot bubble bath before scrubbing himself clean, making sure to wash extra under his armpits and his neck, just like his granny told him to. Then, he'd go to his room and change into his favorite pair of wool pajamas.

Meanwhile, in the living room. his papa would kneel by the fireplace and coax a stack of logs until there was a cheerful fire in the living room and the scent of warm pine drifted through the entire cabin. Granny and grampy would curl up on their corner of the sofa and wrap themselves in a thick, patchwork quilt, and mama would bring slices of her famous Black Forest Cake and mugs of milky coffee from the kitchen. Rudolph loved to breathe in the fragrant coffee while nibbling on the slices of rich, chocolate cake. Finally, once the fire was ready and the coffee and the cake were served and everyone was together, story time would begin.

"Once upon a time...." his papa or his granny or his mama would always start, and then they'd tell of the grand adventures of Gunther the Bear, a legend from their village who fought 2 dragons to save a maiden from a guarded castle in Kerns, or Magda the Clever, a young maiden who left the village a few years ago to travel and ended up stealing the riches right under the nose of a corrupt king to feed a poor village, or Johannes the Poet, the son of the shoemaker who apprenticed at a bard's school and was now singing for the king of Schwende.

After these stories were done, after the logs were mostly hot embers and all that was left of the torte were a few crumbs and specks of buttercream, Rudolph would jump to his feet, his eyes glowing with visions of honor and glory and his little fists clenched as if holding a noble sword. Each and every time, he would say:

"I'm going to be a hero too!"

His mama and his papa and his granny and grampy would exchange smiles and ruffle his hair indulgently.

"Yes, sweetie", they would say. "You just have to wait until you turn 16! Then you'll be old enough to leave the village and seek adventure."

But 16 was so far away! Rudolph would always think to himself. How could he possibly wait 8 more years before he could be Rudolph the Brave or Rudolph the Wise instead of being just Rudolph, just another little boy in the village?

One day, Rudolph was in the town market buying little wrapped balls of caramel popcorn from the candy stall when he heard a yelp, followed by the crash of something metal. He turned around. Sprawled on the ground was a little girl, right around his age, with soft, blond ringlets and doe-like blue eyes. A tin bucket was slowly rolling away from her, and dozens of crushed cookies dotted the snow.

"No...no....noooo!" she moaned as she picked herself up. She ran to pick up the tin, but it was too late. All of the cookies were ruined. "No!" She plopped herself on the snow and immediately began to sob, her blue eyes becoming puffy with tears. Her mother, who had been busy at the grocer's stall, quickly ran over to pick up her daughter.

"It's okay, it's okay Mitzi", the mother said. "Mommy will buy you cookies again next month, okay? Mommy will have money for cookies again next month."

"I..I'm s-sorry" The little girl hiccuped through her tears. "You saved so much money and I-I just droppped everythingggg!" A fresh wave of tears flooded her face.

"Mommy's not angry" the mother said. She gently brushed some of the blond curls away from her daughter's face. "Come on, let's go home, okay? She took Mitzi's hand and led her out of the marketplace.

"Mama, is there somebody named Mitzi who lives around here?" Rudolph asked his mother later that evening.

His mother looked up from her sewing. "Yes, I think so. Little girl with the pretty blond ringlets? Her papa is Mr. Lindholm."

"Does she live nearby?"

"We've passed by their house before sweetie. They're the little cottage right next to the shoemaker."

"I saw her today in the marketplace. She had this really big, pretty tin of cookies, but then she slipped in the snow and dropped them all."

Rudolph's mother looked out the window towards the Lindholm's cottage. "Oh, the poor thing", she sighed. "She must have been so sad to lose those cookies. I wish there was something we could do."

The next morning, Rudolph left his house early, while his mama and his papa and his granny and his grampy were still snuggled into their blankets. He carefully held the heavy tray in his arms as he made his way towards the main road. A sharp gust of icy wind forced him to wrap his puffy red coat closer around his body. It was so cold! Rudolph wasn't used to getting up this early, but he wanted to surprise Mitzi, and the only way to do that was if she was asleep.

The cookies had taken him all morning. They were knobby, misshapen lumps of dough and chocolate chips, but Rudolph remembered watching his mama make them. He had poured out the flour and beaten the eggs, and added the bits of chocolate chips, just like she had, so they must be delicious too, he reasoned. He walked down the cobblestone street, taking care to watch out for icy patches of ground. The village was just beginning to wake up. The lights were flickering on in some of the windows, and thin strands of smoke came from some of the chimneys.

Mr. Lindholm's home was a modest, one-room cottage that looked out of place next to the bustling shoemaker's store. The wood of the cottage was dry and old, and had been replaced in parts, leaving the whole building with a curious patchwork appearance. Rudolph placed the tray on their door step and banged on the door. As soon as he heard footsteps coming down the stairs, he scampered behind a grove of pine trees. He had never talked to Mr. Lindholm before, and he was sure that Mr. Lindholm wouldn't want him to know about the cookie accident yesterday.

Mr. Lindholm was a thin man with a gentle face and round glasses. He stood on his porch in his thin pajamas, looking around for the missing knocker, then saw the small tray of lumpy chocolate chip cookies. Rudolph watched him smile as he called his daughter down to the door.

"Mitzi, come look!"

Mitzi stumbled to the porch, one hand holding a worn-out teddy bear, and another one trying to rub the sleep from her eyes. The minute she saw the cookies however, her eyes lit up and she ran giggling into her father's arms.

"Papa! Did you buy these cookies?"

"I didn't. Somebody gave them to us."

"Who?"

"I don't know sweetheart, somebody very, very kind."

Mr. Lindholm looked around again, then called out into the woods. "Whoever you are, thank you so much!" Little Mitzi followed his lead. Cupping a tiny hand around her mouth, she yelled:

"Thank you for the cookies Mister or Missus Stranger! I'm so happy! You're my hero!"

They walked inside the house with the tray of cookie, laughing and smiling the whole time. From behind the trunk of a pine tree, Rudolph was smiling too, a delighted, ear-to-ear smile. 'You're my hero', Mitzi had said. Rudolph danced all the way back home.

The mother closed the storybook, then smiled at her young daughter. "It's almost your bedtime, you should be going to sleep."

"But Mama," the little girl whined. "What happened next? Did Rudolph ever leave the village? Did he ever go and rescue maidens, or save villages, or sing famous songs?"

The mother laughed, tucking the blanket closer around her daughter and then gently stroking her hair. "No sweetheart, he never did leave the village. He never rescued maidens or saved villages or sung famous songs. After that day, whenever Rudolph saw a child who didn't have very much, he would go back to his house and make something nice for them. He was so glad to make other kids happy that he decided to stay in the village and make all sorts of wonderful toys and treats from his house, like wooden train sets and caramel popcorn balls and little lace dolls. He always made his deliveries in secret though, so nobody ever knew who the stranger was that brought so much joy to the children. Eventually, the children came up with their own stories about him, about a mysterious little boy in a puffy red coat who delivered presents to children when they need it most. They named him Santa Claus, and Little Mitzi, who received that first tray of cookies, started a tradition where once a year, all the children would leave a glass of milk and a plate of cookies for Santa as a reminder of the very important lesson that Rudolph learned that day."

"What lesson was that, Mama?"

"That you don't have to rescue maidens, or save villages, or sing famous songs to be a hero. All you have to do is to be kind."

I teach college English, and I have to say... I'm impressed! Your writing is great :) The story was so sweet, and his treasure and species are perfect for it. You've got a great pet!

Here are the only typos I found in your story:

Commas go inside quotation marks, like here: "It's okay, it's okay Mitzi",

"Mommy's not angry" the mother said. She gently brushed some of the blond curls away from her daughter's face. "Come on, let's go home, okay? She took Mitzi's hand and led her out of the marketplace. You need a closing quotation mark after okay.

...and that's it! Great work ❤️

Thank you so much! I really appreciate you taking the time to reply! :)

I read his story the other day and I just have to say it's a unique take on the story. I absolutely loved it and thought it was adorable.