im finally in college and im terrible at making friends. im not the most social person and feel awkward talking to people a lot. at my highschool friends have either moved away or are ALWAYS too busy for me. i spend nearly all day everyday alone playing videogames or studying... even when on campus too... my boyfriend is just as socially inept as i am too, but he has his online friends at least. plus spending so much time with him is tireing sometimes. anyone have the same problems? at actually took a lot for me to even write this.

i also dont like going up and talking to just ANYONE too and im sure you guys can be like that. i feel like a lot of people look at me like im weird. idk maybe its just me

I think most people feel this way, we just all bluff our way through it and some do it a lot better than others. I'm not very good at making friends either, though I know a big part of my problem is I have unrealistic standards for people. I used to be very shy, and I still am much more shy than the average person, but I've gotten much better.

For me, I knew that part of my depression and anxiety was directly related to not having the will to break my shyness. So my therapist gave me "homework" to put myself out there more. Give an acquaintance a compliment. Be friendly to people in customer service positions, ask them how their day is, etc. If you are allowed to talk in your college classes, make small talk with a person sitting next to you.

It'll feel awkward. You'll probably feel like this person is totally uninterested in you. But it really doesn't matter what they think, what matters is you overcoming your shyness. (There's nothing innately wrong with shyness, but the fact that you feel it's bringing on consequences is why it needs to be overcome.)

I am a anti social person as well. I hate talking to new people, but really the best thing is to make one friend and keep it at that. To much drama when theirs a lot of friends. Really the only thing is to hold your breath and just talk to someone new ,like my dad told me if they don't talk back screw them . and move on to the next .

I feel that way sometimes too. I find that it helps to start talking to someone if you're in class with them, and the two of you get partnered up for something. You could make a comment about the work, or just something random (just make sure it isn;t too out there!) And you might be able to get a conversation going and make a new friend that way. Sometimes it can also be easier to make friends with other people who look like they are a little lost or confused, by offering your help. Also, if you see someone who seems to be a good person, but they are a bit shyer or a bit of a loner, then maybe you could try talking to them.

I agree its hard to start conversations, especially with people you don't know, but sometimes it can lead to some pretty good things. I know being around your boyfriend can be tiring, but I assume you still love him, and you had to begin dating and talking somehow! :)

thanks all of you. i know that i need to put myself out there more and thats mainly the problem. it almost feels like fear. kinda why i refuse to dance or other such ridiculous things because im almost deathly afraid of embarrassment. i dont answer questions a lot even though i think i know the answer because im afraid i might be far off and be embarrassed for being stupid. (weird because im almost always right depending on the question)

maybe i should chug coffee more. the caffeine and sugar make me SUUUPER chatty. thats how i made a few acquaintances. maybe i should remember to get their numbers next i see them.

and yes of course i love him X3 i remember before we dated he sat behind me in chemistry and english and always poked my sides and tickled me during class and tried on occasion to creep me out (it never worked) XD he'd always squeak when i poked his sides! he's my tall lanky geek boy! glasses and goatee too XP idk why i like guys like that but i do!

I literally feel the exact same way in regards to your feelings on embarrassment. I haven't found a great way of dealing with it, but generally when people are nice to me, I try to turn off those worries and just talk. But it's still really hard for me to talk about things that I really like..I can't deal with the possibility of someone tarnishing my favorite things (like pet sites) with dissenting opinions.

Welcome to college! My school is completely un-welcoming as a whole... however, have you looked into any clubs for things you're interested in? I recently went to a few meetings for my schools astronomy club and there were some pretty cool people there. Most of my friends have move d away or have gotten married and don't have time for their friends anymore (however, as a married person myself if you can't make time for your friends then you weren't their friend in the first place).

Maybe look into something to help out in your community? Do you like Animals? volunteer maybe to go out and play with dogs at a rescue/shelter setting... maybe visit with some kitties at pet stores, idk. There are lots of ways to make friends that enjoy doing the same thing as you even if you aren't the most social butterfly. Most of my social interactions lately have been because of my service dog and I've ended up with some new nice friends :)

ive only looked a little into clubs. i wish i could join a sport but i never was in any in highschool and im waaay out of shape and a tad pudgy... swimming is the best i can do but i dont think id be accepted considering i have no experience. plus as much as id love to volunteer id rather get into something that makes me money because of very tight financial situations... not gonna get into all the factors affecting it. although people hiring always like to see volunteer work on the application and/or resume so hmmm, quite a conflicting feeling. im always at the petstore "somewhat" near where i live though they dont have puppies and kitties they do have fish lizards and snakes 83 gotta get mice for MY snake every now and again. cheapest pet ever! tank, water, sand, lamp, and a mouse every other week or less. i also have a dog too and some fishies. im not a creepy snake person! wish i could afford a leopard gecko though X3 theyre so adorable with their fat tails!

I'd LOVE to have a snake! I had an eel for about 6 years who was my "water snake" and when he passed I was super sad :( still miss the lil buggar!

Animals are AWESOMMMMMME I have a whole zoo, dogs, cats, turtle, mouse, and ducks. They actually are how I got into volunteering! Maybe see if there is a place that lets you volunteer once a month! My husband did that because he didn't have much spare time with school and work and he still landed a better job becasue of it and made some friends :)

i love animals too! i practically had a zoo when i was younger. not all of the animals ive had died some were given away to other owners or donated for various reasons. ive had rabbits, a lizard, a bird, turtles(six painter turtles and a box turtle), dogs(a dog when i was little that died when i was 18 and the one we have now), a hamster, a huuuge fish tank when i was really young and my little tank with two platys i have now. wish i coulda had cats but my dad is allergic. my parents allergies and animal preferences restricted my choice of pets a bit. my aunts have a bunch of pet chickens and i want to see them so bad! they live in maryland so we gotta plan a bit before heading there, a bit of a distance from jersey. maybe ill ask an old friend of mine (if he's not too overwhelmed with school and work) if he knows a place or can help me bc i know he had volunteered before at a shelter.

I know what you mean. I'm actually the same way :p Tge only reason I talk to pepole is because sometimes i feel like it'll be easier than not talking to them. I also get the same way on sugar and caffine :3 Your boyfriend sounds like a nice guy, I'm glad you have him, and I hope things get easier for you when it comes to talking to people! :)

he is a nice guy when he's not putting his ice cold hands on my stomach after being on the computer! he makes GREAT sandwiches though! yes HE is in the kitchen not me >:D

Lol that sounds like my boyfriend, he LOVES cooking! As for the cold hands, that is so eeeevvvviiiilllllll :p

absolutely evil! he's always frying things though mostly... must be why it all tastes good lol!

and back to the original topic despite being terrified to speak to people and being exhaused and uncomfortable around crowds being lonely is equally as mentally exhausting...

Everything tastes good frieeeedddd :D

Yeah, it is... I really hope you can find some friends soon! I know you'll find them :)

College is a totally different animal than high school. I made friends, lost them, and made more. Everyone is just as afraid - or bored- as everyone else. The best thing to do is be yourself and smile at EVERYONE. That way, you put your best face forward, and if people think you are weird at least they know you're nice! Never let fear stop you from being smart - it's impressive, attractive and healthy! - or pursuing things you think only you are interested in. And don't dismiss your teacher, your clerk, your advisor as a potential friend. Never dismiss anyone offhand.

I was very inexperienced with making friends before I went to college; I had been bullied, forgotten and had never had a real friend. Forcing myself to engage was hard. I always ended up being friends with my boyfriends' friends instead of finding my own. It took SO much to just sit down in the middle of the common's area and open one of my favorite books... but that was the first time I realized that everyone stares at everyone, but not because they are judging. Everyone is worried about being judged. No one realizes that our harshest critic is the person in the mirror. Nowadays I find myself being the one who makes jokes or comments to help others feel comfortable instead of waiting for someone else to. It's terrifying the first time. It's terrifying the twentieth time. But it is SO worth it.

Sometimes I'm still certain that no one really likes me, but I have to remind myself that I'm wrong. That effortless confidence that some people have is a LEARNED behavior. Charisma comes most often from honesty and openness. That's why all those snooty girls I was so afraid of when I was younger seem so hollow now and instead of hating them I just hope they find that reason to make a real connection with those around them. YOU deserve your confidence and people will be attracted to it. It takes practice, but never give up!