I guess it's wierd posting about this, because I recently posted about having an anxiety disorder... maybe arrogance and anxiety seem like opposites. But anyway, here goes:

I think I come off as arrogant. I would like to not come off as arrogant. To be clear, I don't actually consider myself arrogant. I think I'm extremely confident, because ever since I can remember I've been very successful in many different areas. Anxiety stops me from expressing a lot of these skills, and I know this and it's part of the reason I hate it so much. But whenever I'm in a situation in which anxiety isn't in the way, for example in video games, I think I seem arrogant (and to clarify, this is with RL friends. Who knows what the anonymous online people really think).

Sometimes I talk about my accomplishments a lot because I get very excited about them, and I always want to share my excitement. If I make a lot of money, I want to give my money away. I'm just like that. Maybe it's stupid, either way my intention isn't to belittle other peoples sense of accomplishment but that seems to be happening.

I don't want to stop being confident. It seems like people just want to convince me I'm bad at things without thinking about whether or not I actually am. I know that I'm terrible compared to e-sports tournament winners. I would love to play the way they do someday, and I'm currently trying to get good enough to reach that point. I'm not close yet, though. But it's a process and I understand that. I still think I'm better than most casual gamers, but I think that's a weak statement because most casual gamers don't care, and aren't really trying, while I am.

Anyway I thought this is a very strange "problem" to express... I don't think I can even do that much without sounding arrogant. So, how do I socialize while keeping my confidence a secret?

I'm not positive that you need to, although I'll admit blabbing about video game achievements seems a bit silly, but then again just mentioning it should be nbd. Expressing confidence isn't much of a bad thing, if anything people will often admire it, especially if you're actually confident and not just blocking your insecurities by pretending to be so (especially if it comes off in your body language -- that can actually be attractive to people).

Just don't be a jerk about things and avoid sounding smug. The tone of your voice should be friendly, and you should always ask others questions to show you're interested in them instead of talking about yourself the whole time to avoid looking self-absorbed.

Of course circumstances are important too. Try checking with your friends before talking about all the awesome stuff you did, if they're not particularly happy or haven't been doing well or they're newbies with the game you're playing or they lost to you they might not want to hear about it =P

If you can't control how you sound you might just not bother mentioning achievements or do it less often. Not bringing it up shouldn't affect how you see yourself. You can talk about other things if you need to, right?

- Eh, it's not really a question of how I'd see myself. I just end up talking about it because I'm excited and it just all spills out. That is all good advice though.

My voice can be kind of monotone, but I can always find things to be curious about, then I sound more excited. I will try it.

I've been hanging out with a different crowd recently so I'm not used to how they talk to each other and do things... we don't know each other that well yet. Normally I like the company of relaxed, practical people, so I don't really know how to keep the more emotionally-inclined happy. It's... it's hard work.

Ah yeah, I get that. I hate that feeling :x It takes me forever to get to know people. I've moved a lot in recent years so I haven't been able to make many friends, so I also know what you mean about wanting to be careful of how you sound to people.

Well, good luck with everything! Hopefully the crowd you hang out with will ease up a bit.