So I've been stressing myself out like crazy lately. My birthday is on Saturday and I feel like the closer I get to it the more out of whack I'm feeling. I'm just absolutely dreading it.

Last year was terrible for me. I found out something just horrific that my father did and when I confronted him to save some innocent bystanders things kind of blew up. My entire family turned their backs on me to protect a sociopath, and it's still a fresh wound. My birthday was always my favorite time of year, not because of presents but because of family. We'd always have a big party and just have everyone together since I also share the day with my younger cousin. Last year I had moved next door to my dad into my brother's house with his family. None of us were on real speaking terms with our dad. I was anxious about my birthday last year as well. Not one person in my family called me. Not that I had expected them to. Not even that I had really wanted them too. But it hurt. I spent most of the day crying. I feel stupid thinking about it now even. But I feel like it's happening all over again. Except this year I have even less of a support system. I moved out to be with my mom in Florida, but she's currently in California. I have one of my oldest friends here, but I'm still terrified.

I still don't expect anyone besides my mom to call me. And that's /fine/. But it just makes me think about how all of this is real and how alone I feel. I guess I just needed somewhere to get out a little bit of my feelings as I can't speak out my feelings in real life at all.

- It sounds like your family is not worth caring for any more. I know that's hard, but it's time you moved on for your own sake. If your family is willing to ignore you to protect a sociopath, then that's their problem. Maybe they'll change their minds one day, but don't count on it.

Go out and find something you like to do. You'll meet new people that can help you overcome the pain on losing your family.

My advice is for how to spend the day of your birthday itself to keep your mind off of your family. Take that time to treat yourself. Definitely share a nice meal with your friend or spend the day doing something fun together. Maybe get a mani/pedi, or your hair done, or your makeup done if those kinds of things lift your mood. Have cake for breakfast. Wear something that makes you feel special. Buy something because it makes you happy. I hope you enjoy the day and that things will get better with your family.