okay so this was brought to my attention the other day.

subject is a friend ive know for a long time. he's not the brightest bulb in the box (actually a bit deficient due to a condition in the brain department, but still a great guy) mentally retarded is too big a word, but slightly challenged still.

he told a mutual friend and together they brought this to my attention. apparently him and another guy we know (also a friend, up til now anyway) used to get drunk a lot and do illicit substances. anyway what happened this other guy started pressuring him into doing sexual acts together (wont specificy) and he told me this felt weird and he didnt really want to but he was pushed etc. so this went on for around 10 times and he said he was afraid to bring it up because maybe we would judge him for doing this.

so im a t a loss how to deal with this. obviously shun the perpetrator, but what else? confront him? say this isnt okay? my friend is easily abused (people asking for money, etc) so hes sensitive in this regard, and this is a bad break of trust. although mutual but obv my friend is in no position to make serious judgements.

what do?

Would you confront the perpetrator if it were any other kind of situation than sexual? If he were taking advantage of something else equally damaging, would you call him on it?

tell him to avoid said person , go to the police if need be & tell others I bet your friend is not the only one who has been abused by this guy

i would very much like to call him out on it but dont know how. so far we've told my friend to tell our other friends if hes comfortable with doing so. calling the guy out would mean airing his secret to the world and im not sure thats my place to do so.

we've told him to avoid said person, and so far thats good. he showed me some of the whatsapp messages hes sent him and theyre pretty "sneaky" as in, i think hes trying to rile him up and put my friend in a place beneath him, to pester him etc.

this behaviour is pretty unexpected (maybe repressed homosexual urges that come up when hes under the influence? idk) but the main question is how do i confront him, and should i?

Calling him out does not mean you have to air it to the world. His sexuality is not your place to reveal, but if he is an abusive person, and it sounds like he is, then he needs to be stopped. If the situation is not "serious" enough to involve authorities then you ( or you and a friend or two) can go to him privately. Tell him you are aware of what happened. Tell him what exactly was wrong about it (maybe he really doesn't know?) and tell him you will not put up with it, or him, anymore.

I know it is a delicate situation but it sounds very much like it is abuse and abuse should never be tolerated. All it takes is for people who can help to not, to be silent, for the abuse to continue. The challenged friend came to you because he trusts you. Help him.

it will keep happening as long as he thinks he can get away with it. Tell person that no means no then have your friend block him on all social sites. I dealt with my ex hubby who liked to be abusive & i was too afraid to tell anyone so its good your friend can tell someone

I think pressing charges would be the right thing to do, but I know that would be difficult - first your friend would have to be willing. I was married to an abusive prick for five years and was just glad to be divorced and living separate. Never did anything about it... he's a cop now ironically..

If he doesn't want to press charges for whatever reason I think the beset things you can do are 1. tell him you are glad he confided in you and that it OK for him to feel weird and it is not his fault in any way shape or form. 2. Anything you can do to bridge the gap between him, do... after we separated I had no friends and I actually hung our with my shithead ex because, lonely? Once we had a couple solid months completely really apart, I realized I was better off and I was finally ready to not see him again.... and 3. If there is any way to find a professional therapist... I'm sure there'd be some program to get counseling on the slide if you know. $$...

And if nothing else, just be sure you let them know he can always talk to you. You're a good friend.

I would at least make the police aware of the situation so they have a reference point if need be. This is said as someone who has been in a very physically/sexually abusive relationship where the only one thinking clearly enough to do anything proactive was my mom.