Let me ask you folks...have you ever met somebody and just had a hunch you'd relate to them well? If so, can you tell me whether it was right or not?

There's this guy who works in this place where I volunteer. I feel like his demeanour is similar to mine. He likes video games, I like video games (although frustratingly I don't and never have owned an Xbox/Playstation and am too poor to get either even though I'd love to). I'm pretty sure we like similar music, and we both like animals, and that, for all I know could be a tip of an iceberg since I don't actually know him. The point is, I want to.

I just... When I met him I was so shy and awkward and unattractive and didn't know how to act. First impressions are strong and I fear he'll be weary of me. I've since fixed myself up, and actually, I haven't been to this place in months and he's seen me once in the past few weeks. He seemed to notice my improvement and because of that I don't feel too bad now. I'm an attractive-ish person and I'm polite/caring but....I don't know, I don't know how to approach him. We never talk or anything, we're mere acquantinces and I feel like asking for a facebook or something would be a bit much.

I haven't had a friend my own age in yeeears. I feel desperate sometimes. I don't get many opportunities to meet young people let alone ones I can relate to. The feeling of really wanting to be around certain people when they can get on in life just fine without you sucks sometimes. -__-

So...can someone tell me their experiences of actively trying to befriend a person?

Just smile and talk.

Try not to build it into a huge thing in your head. It clearly is a huge thing to you, but you need to try to make it normal and relax. That way you'll both be more comfortable about it.

If you have an awkward interaction then don't worry about it. Every day people have awkward encounters. Even really cool people have awkward moment. They just generally make it seem like the other person's fault and some people are even incapable of ever seeing something as their fault. I personally don't think that's a good thing, it's healthy to know you have faults, but not healthy to overanalyse them. Just accept them and recognise that other people have faults too.

I used to be really shy when I was young. One day I saw a girl just smiling at everyone. It was really awkward smile as she was obviously really shy and forcing the smile, but I could see that people responded positively towards her as a result. They could see how hard she was trying and they appreciated it. So I realised I needed to smile more and started smiling at people however awkward I felt. Now smiling is totally natural to me, and having spent years forcing myself to talk to people I can talk to anyone. Often I find it gets awkward, but oh well. Some people aren't that responsive to strangers rambling on at them!

So anyways, smile and see if you can start a convo. "Hi. Not seen you in a while! How are you?" could be a start. Even if it comes out awkward and shy, if he's a decent person he'll appreciate you made the effort and will recognise that it was a tough thing to do and help you out (unless he's also really shy). Otherwise he might just prove to be a dick, but if he is let it go and move on. Don't blame yourself.

Good luck! :)

Ah yes @,@ Thank you for the response. I've noticed the need to be around people causes me to behave oddly -- it's the most ironic thing, you're self-conscious, you don't want to look weird or stupid, and as a result you end up looking just that.

I suppose I'll just have to find the right moment to chat. I'm not particularly good at conversation and I guess I'm just worried small talk will be too boring -- I wish it didn't take so long to get to know a person. It's not the easiest thing since he's always busy because he works there. He's a rather quiet person as well.

I wish I could smile but unfortunately my teeth aren't the best (they're a bit gappy and I've got fluorosis on my 2 front teeth that shows as white stains). Although funnily enough I have a feeling he has a similar problem because his teeth don't look all that healthy and he never shows his teeth in pictures either.

I guess I'll just try to throw myself into friendly mode as much as possible. Maybe now that I look better and am less self-conscious (which I think made just about everyone I talked to uncomfortable >.>) I'll be more appealing to talk to this time 'round.

I reckon you're probably appealing to talk to any time. :)

Smiles don't have to be toothy. :) And not that many people have perfect teeth. I had a brace for a couple of years and my teeth still aren't perfect. I have a bottom tooth that sticks up more than the others and my teeth have always been a bit yellow (thanks for the teeth Dad!)

Practice makes perfect on everything, even conversation. I am personally not a fan of small talk. But then I sometimes tend to alarm people when I skip it and launch straight into a random conversation. Oh well. I don't really see the point in practicing small talk. It kind of irritates me when people small talk with me but clearly are just doing it out of courtesy and couldn't actually give a shit how I'm doing. If you don't really want to talk to me, then just don't talk to me!

Good luck! Let us know how it goes. :)

Gotta love people. Sounds like you guys'd get along initially. You can use the excuse of you not owning systems to go over and play his, heh.

But my case, I suck with people. I say I do, but I've been told opposite. I dunno. Befriending comes naturally. Don't think about it, and just go with it. Simple as that, really. Anything weird or strange, and I'd advise caution. But go for it. Make up conversations at random.

Hope you get to talking to him more. Sounds like there might be a little crush going on, too. Heheh...

Thanks for the response!

I don't think I'd want to play his systems, tbh. I don't want to be a newbie around him, I get angry when I suck at games xD

Haven't had much chance to see him lately, hopefully sometime this week. Actually, next week might be even better since they have a big event coming up this week and things will be super busy.

As for that last part, you're right about that xD Although I don't think it'd work since his mother has the same first name as me, and not only that but my cousin married someone with the same first name as him, and her husband's mother ALSO has the same name as me so... Yeah. :p

But I'm cool just being friends, I've been needing approval from other young people since like I said I don't have friends my own age...it'd still be good for me.