SO I live with my two best friends and one happens to be a guy (no this situation doesnt involve him) BUT obviously he brings his other guy friends over and we all hang out like on a daily basis and there is this one...well we hooked up a while ago and it was whatever friends with benefits type of thing it never got weird or awkward between the two of us and it was mutual nothing had to be disclosed between the two of us WELL we still hook up or whatever and I only told the girl my best friend it happened once other wise it's been hush hush i dont really like putting my personal life out there to everyone well turns out my friend has feelings for this guy and he kinda likes her too..BUT like i said we are still hooking up I dont have feelings per say but i do feel bad knowing that my friend kinda likes him and im messing around with him im not sure if i should tell her or not..gah

- I think you should end the friends with benefits thing. From my experience, they're a complete waste of time.

The only thing I would be concerned about is he may end up revealing your secret. You may want to consider telling your friend before he tells her.

i say if things develop with him and your friend then so be it. Just walk yourself away from him in a sexual manner and you have no need to tell her honestly. this is no different than if he had been dating someone else. you yourself say there's no solid emotional involvement or even much investment with the two of you.

Your friend likes him, ok that's neat. If he REALLY wanted to be with her don't you think he'd find ways to spend the time he spends being with you with her somehow instead? Or even as a group of people hanging out thing? I mean the times you guys do spend together is it often when she's busy? does he call you away and you meet up but give your roomies some excuse?

Think about your situation and pay attention to when and why he seems to call on you. It's overall your choice what you do but in general a FWB situation doesn't need to be disclosed as it's YOUR personal thing, unless he starts doing the same with your friend. again as a whole no need for disclosure however i'd not like to be screwed by the same guy who screws my friend (at least not actively, if it was in the past that's one thing, but two at once fuck that). Also just keep a level head if you decide this thing isn't what YOU want anymore after thinking about everything.

I agree with Star_Cherry on the friends with benefits thing. In my experience, it really only leads to losing friends. Sex is great and all, but if there's going to be more people involved, it can get complicated, as feelings tend to run wild in these situations.

I'd say try telling her. She might get upset. Actually she probably will. Maybe. I don't know her, but there's a chance. But if she finds out later on, she's going to be even more upset that you didn't tell her.

Good luck to you, mate.

If he truly really liked her, he wouldn't be messing around with you. If you care about your friendship more than the guy then I would say stop hooking up with him, but if he was as into her as she is into him then he would have stopped hooking up with you a while ago. I don't think he's that great of a guy for her if he likes her but is hooking up with you but even so, if your friendship is more important even if he is a shitty guy you should probably stop hooking up with him.

Edit: And honesty is always the best policy even if it can hurt someone you should tell your friend and be honest with both of them. I mean you don't have to tell her details or anything like that because what you do with the people you hook up with is obviously your business, but you still might want to tell her that you hooked up with him and that there are no feelings for him behind it.

stole the words right out of my mouth.

Your friend has absolutely no say in the fact that you have a friends with benefits situation with another friend, even if it's someone she likes. There is no reason to tell her unless it comes up as it will likely just end up making her feel hurt, even though there is no emotional attachment. If she has feelings for someone, it is her responsibility to tell that person and see where it goes. If they both decide they have feelings for each other, cool, then end the friends with benefits. It sounds like he's unsure of his feelings about her and that they need to have a talk. If it makes you too uncomfortable, you can always stop hooking up with him for now and wait for the situation to resolve itself. Really though, it's between you and the guy, not your friend that likes him.

This post is a little dated, but... A lot of people are saying not to tell her. She's your best friend, so the most adult thing to do, in order to spare her feelings in the long run, is to honestly tell her that the two of you are hooking up. If he likes her and she likes him, awesome, but if you think the casual relationship between you and he might interfere with her chances with him, you should give her the heads up.