Hi guys, so I just need some everyday advice (meaning a non-psychologist or clergy)...just a regular bit of advice from a non-biased person.

So my husband and I have been fighting....and BAD (and it is not about money and its not violent...just yell-y). We are married, and in our last year of college together. I am taking but only the bare-minimum to stay full time so i can keep my scholarship to attend the school. He is full time, and working, and does his homework on top of it. I bought him a small gift to show him i appreciate all he does (and i used a but of my excess scholarship money anyways, no harm...i always have a bunch left over and use it for special things or gas money...). We have been arguing because we just do not have any time together, and when we are together...the tension is just so bad we can't relax...and he has "problems" in the love department (if you know what i mean) because his mind is still on everything he has to do...and not our "Married moments."

Needless to say, i complain about my general education classes cuz they are boring and I want consolation that its gonna be okay....not get sighed at...

And i realized i don't really want children....has anyone when they first got married felt that way? does it ever go away? I mean....I can see myself having kids with him and he'd be a MAGNIFICENT and very loving father...but i guess i am finally just now enjoying my science abilities and don't want kids...i want money lol. (We are both barely 22....so we are very young I guess but at the same time very wise). I guess I'm enjoying the forbidden fruit of romantic husband-wife intimacy that I don't want anything coming in-between that because I waited until I was married...and proud of it.

Needless to say, I regret NOTHING. I love him....I just....don't know what to do or how to connect...Or how to get his mind off of all the homework so we can feel like we are married instead of just friends that happen to live together and work on science homework all the time.

On top of it all, its bad because everyone else is in their senior year here are total ASSES to each other and act like they are too busy for one another to even stay and chat for a while. I always feel like such a hinderence when I want to to talk with my friends because they are always working on something and have their "better" friends to go talk to...Like sororities and such

And i miss my family a lot when that happens...

I miss my husband most of all.

Oh man, honey can I relate to you.

My husband and I are in the same boat (although we don't fight too much, just grumbly matches? idk more irritants I guess rather than fighting. He'd rather say nothing so we "silent fight"). We're both going to school full time (13 units), working 40hr weeks, and attempting to be married people. It is really hard. I don't think people on the outside quite understand the stresses that go through newly married people with this kind of lifestyle, as most of my "friends" have given up on us because we don't have the same interests as them (or we don't want to go out partying everyday/at all) so we're just "dismissed" as friends.

I'll also complain about mundane classes (that we're taking together) and his response is "I don't want to hear it, quit acting like a brat Ces." or "I'm just going to drop the class if you don't shut up about it" because they are boring/easy for me but not for him. So it makes me a brat for complaining about the fact I can go to school/things come easier to me.

Does your hubby have a day off at all? Mine is lucky enough to have 2 days a week off however they are the two days I cannot take off. We see each other daily maybe 1-2 hrs if we're lucky. And usually thats just in class (he works nights, I work all day). We try to take a few days here and there to just sit at home and do nothing. Just hang out in bed and say nothing. I can understand the hubby is stressed out so it affects other things. We also waited until we were married, but its something that doesn't happen too often because of the work schedules and its frustrating for both of us.

Maybe see if you two can take a day or two off and just go take a drive somewhere and have some fun. We just took the day off to go pick up and play Destiny all day together since we both like gaming. It was a great day, we slept in, spent time together, and got to be "married" people for the day.

We don't have kids right now nor want them either. We're 24 and 26 but we have 2 dogs and they are our children. Our life is too busy and just getting started (Marine Bio major here, holla to the sciences!) and kids are the last thing on my mind. I know Brent will make an AMAZING father (he's amazing with all kids, better than me for sure) some day but right now is just not that time. You guys are young and heck, we've only lived for part of a quarter of our lives. Enjoy being young and married without the added stress of being parents.

if you ever need to vent, feel free to smail or comment me <3 I can totally relate to this post on like 5000 levels.

It's good to hear (and yet sad) to know that someone else is in the same boat as I am. My husband does get weekends off, and I do not work at all (we had plenty of savings to be able to do that, and so I can de-stress cuz I can't deal with anxiety after O. Chem last year). But it is on the weekends he has to do all his homework too.

We were going to celebrate our engagement anniversary all special-like but his family came down to visit us that weekend...so you do the math on the love calculator there....

And then for my wedding anniversary his wicked step-mother (she really is the devil, i swear) wants us to give up our first anniversary to go to boring niagara falls in the SUMMER so that lady and his father can re-new their vows...

I want to go somewhere small for just he and i that we knw we can afford...and not have his family or mine (although mine are pretty respectuful) will interrupt our much-needed togetherness...

I don't know...We both love video games, but I hate being inside right now XD

Maybe we can aim for a hike or something together this weekend. We both love being outdoors and fit and active...

LOL omg. Our wedding night his mother kept texting him "what are you doing?" Like he was going to answer or something... I do NOT get along with her (we currently are living with them so the love calculator takes a hit there too) and our wedding day she took his whole side of his family back to their house and basically ruined the rest of the wedding. every came, ceremony, then BAM all left. No dancing, no photos. Nada. Then we cleaned up by ourselves (with the help of my parents) and went to their house and BAM party going on without us and they all expected us to be there instead of at our own wedding venue. It was horrid. Ugh! But yea, love calculator takes major hits. She backed out of our honeymoon so we never really had one of those either to go enjoy being married people on. We tried to go hiking Big Sur for our 1 yr but they wouldn't allow our dogs in so we just drove around and were beach bums for the day. My parents won't bother us thankfully but his will. Its like "yay home alone" and then "just kidding, thank you for not knocking on the closed door and barging on in.".

Outdoors is great! we have a little hiking area really close that we try to go to since thats a place we went as kids all the time (grew up with him, best friend for 19 years, yadda yadda lol) and its a nice get away for the day. Maybe go to a zoo or even just a drive through the countryside. There are lots of fun relaxing things that don't cost too much.

It's people like your mother-in-law that need smacked.

That is just awful!!!

It's not THAT bad on our end, but his family calls way more often than mine does because we only have been married for a month or so...Fortunately we had a honeymoon, thanks to his sister.

...

Also, i like that going on small walk/drive idea. Its what we both love to do a lot. I have issues putting my very strong feelings into words because I have gotten used to a "science journal" language.

But go tell your mother in law go screw herself...please...just for me.

Sounds like she needs it.