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Edit: Welp, my and my boyfriend broke up. There's no anniversary now, so this thread is not needed.
Thank you for the advice everyone! I can use the advice for the future.
IGNORE THIS PART:
Next week will mark 1 year that me and my boyfriend have been together. I'm amazed at this, seeing how much of a rollercoaster our relationship has been and that it's my first relationship. It's also the longest relationship he has been in.
It seems like people make a huge deal about anniversaries. But, I'm not the type that likes giving or receiving flowers, romantic dinners, etc. I also tend not to celebrate holidays much. For Valentines Day, it was actually my boyfriend that said "Happy Valentine's Day".
I'm wondering how do people feel about these sort of anniversaries. Do you think my boyfriend would remember it and would be upset if I didn't mention it? And, if I'm the one that remember and he doesn't, would he find it strange that I remember such a detail about our relationship?
That's something you'll just have to talk about between the two of you. Different people feel differently about that sort of thing. It's sort of like how people talk about their opinions on living together before marriage, or what their personal boundaries for cheating are.
My fiance and I are like you, we don't think holidays and anniversaries are a big deal. We might mention it to each other, like "Oh, happy 5th anniversary!" or whatever, but neither of us would be angry or upset at all if the other forgot or didn't want to do anything to celebrate.
But I've dated people in the past who wanted to have a big event, fancy dinner, expensive gifts, etc. for every anniversary and big holiday. It was exhausting for me, and awkward when they would give me a gift and I hadn't gotten them anything.
Just talk about it together. Bring it up non-confrontationally. You could ask for his opinion first, something like, "We've made it through (almost) an entire year together, even with some rocky parts, were you thinking of doing anything special to celebrate?" Or come up with something you both enjoy, and phrase it as an invitation: "I'd like to celebrate a year of 'us' by (insert activity here). Will you join me?" I'm sure you know this already, but make sure that if you do decide to do something, it's something that is about you guys; you don't have to do what society says you should do.
If you don't think he'd go for actually doing something specifically to acknowledge the day, you could simply say, "Happy one year of togetherness!" when the day comes. If it's important enough to you that you remembered it, he should recognize that and be okay with it, and if he thinks it's strange, that's his problem, not yours. But since he's the one who said "Happy Valentine's Day," I wouldn't be too worried. One year is a big milestone, especially if it hasn't been all sunshine and rainbows!
One last thing to think about: obviously I don't know you or your boyfriend, but if this is his longest relationship, maybe he's having the same issue as you, but he doesn't want to overwhelm you and make you feel smothered. He might be waiting for you to lead.
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- Okay, this makes me feel a lot less nervous. It's good to know there isn't a need for anything fancy or expensive. I'll definitely tell him something about the anniversary and see what happens.
By the way, your HA penguins are adorable!
I'm glad to have made you feel a little better! :) It is pretty nerve-wracking to not know what the other person expects from you. That's why everyone always says communication is the most important ingredient for a good relationship!
And thank you!
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Congratulations on your soon to come anniversary!
In all honesty, I'm sure it would be fine. I do think you should just offer a little, 'Happy anniversary!' And possibly a hug, though there is nothing that says you need to do a lot for an anniversary. It's a special event for two people. for some people that means extravagance, for some that means no celebration at all, other than maybe a bit of extra time set aside for one another.
My boyfriend and I sometimes remember to wish each other a happy anniversary every month, but if we forget, it's not like we're devastated or upset about it. Our one year anniversary is fast approaching as well, and my boyfriend has already mentioned wanting to do something to celebrate, and he also wants to get me a gift. We aren't going to do anything extravagant at all, and as for the gift, he's the kind of guy who seems to enjoy spending money on me, though i do try to limit it.
That's just our way of celebrating. Time together, and something to give the other as something that will make us think of each other. IT honestly just depends on what you want to do, and what is right for you. There is nothing that says you have to do something, and do it one way or another.
Like you mentioned valentines day, we went to dinner at an affordable restaurant (plate of shrimp for about 6 dollars, and I wasn't able to finish it so i got a Styrofoam container :B ) and he gave me a rose, and that was our night. For us, things are much more about spending time together, and the little things, like playing around and being idiots together and having fun. He'll also give me a flower that happens to be around. he's even given me a small boquet of dandelions when we were helping to clean up the streets, and while he had expected me to just toss them when I went home, I kept them and put them in a vase.
So just do what you feel is right :)
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