You know when you've done something terrible and it eats away at you? Well I did something I regard as bad, but the outcome was worse.

So my boyfriend had some questionable photographs on his phone (not of me), hidden in a locked app. He deleted them because he knew it had upset me, but the app remained on his phone.

SO I GOT A LITTLE NOSEY OKAY.

I wanted to see if they were deleted, and to also see why he still had the app. Now he's only had this phone since we've been dating, so unless the app stores the photos off previous phones, I'm not sure what to think, but he had photos of two ex girlfriends under this password protected app.

Now if I mention the photos, he'll know I've snooped. I have no idea if I should just say something rather than keep it under wraps but I feel terrible for two reasons now...

GAH.

I dunno, when trust has been shaken, I find being a little snoopy to be understandable... Don't get me wrong, it's still an invasion of privacy - I'm just saying I can see why one would feel motivated to do so if it has been an issue in the past. If you feel like you can't trust him (which you didn't, and it would seem with reason), simply asking might not have resulted in an honest answer. Heck, even if he said the photos were gone and it was an honest answer, you might not know if you could even trust it - which in itself is a problem that needs to be addressed.

Without honesty and trust, a relationship is pretty much doomed to fail. You can start by being honest and telling him that you snooped. Chances are he'll get defensive, probably even angry; just remember you have your own reasons for feeling upset by this, and make sure he knows that, too. Talk about how the trust in your relationship has been broken (by both sides), and see if you can't work out a way to repair the damage that's been done so you can move past this.

Keeping this to yourself will only make things worse. You'll just continue to feel hurt in secret, that pain will eventually turn to resentment - and that's basically where relationships go to die. Meanwhile your boyfriend will go about his life like he has done nothing wrong, when he needs to know that his behaviour is hurting you.

Long story short? You two need to talk about this - and sooner, rather than later. Good luck.

Totally agree with what said. When my husband and I dated we both had open access to each others phones, I'm pretty nosey myself (which still annoys him today with my "who are you talkin' to?" questions) but he was honest and open enough to let me dig through his phone or email or computer whenever I felt like it. Same with my stuff, not that he ever cared to go through my stuff (I'm just really nosey) but if there isn't a level of trust or you find things that are "hidden" then it just strikes me as not being fully honest.

Also, Maybe its just me, but I think its kinda weird if he's only had the phone since you've been dating that he would have photos of his Exes locked away in a locked app?

I'd say to just talk to him about it. Like Sparkie said. It's a little odd that he's still got those locked away. Maybe asking for an explanation will help?

I've kind of done the same, and I honestly do not know how to approach it. My boyfriend left his facebook up once .. and I just got overly curious. He's been speaking to his ex because she messaged him about the two of them and he had said he regretted what he did. I know if I approach him about it, he will get extremely angry with me. I just don't know how to go about it. I feel he still has feelings for her and it hurts me a great deal. He has a pretty nasty temper and is really defensive.

I know what I did was wrong, and its been eating at me ever since. But I do not have the courage to approach him about it.