I want to keep this short, but basically, I broke up with my ex a year and several months ago. Have been with my current boyfriend over a year and he is amazing. I love him more than I ever loved my ex when we were dating. We now live together and have full time jobs and help support one another. But suddenly, I keep having feelings of missing my ex. Even though he was very emotionally abusive. He and I dated for 4 years, almost. I think part of it is he is probably moving out of state now, and also I know he was recently with another girl for the first time since we broke up (we have mutual friends who talk). I just don't get why I miss him. He was a total ass and after we broke up I realized how bad it really was when I was with him. I'm totally happy with my current bf. Is it just because he's moving? Why do I even miss someone who was abusive?

As a side note, me and my ex are still "friends"... we don't really hang out, but I help him and a bunch of my other friends film stuff. He has gotten even a little crazier than he was when we dated. And I STILL am having weird issues.

You're probably thinking about the good times you had, instead of really focusing on the bad. The bad definitely outweighs the good, so keep reminding yourself WHY you broke up with him. Remind yourself of particularly bad incidents.

- Maybe you became jealous when you saw him with another girl.

Don't let these feelings get to you. Remember that you don't deserve to be treated like dirt. Emotional abuse causes long lasting mental scars (trust me... I've experienced this with my family). You want to stay with the abuser, because they've brainwashed you into thinking they're the only one that can take care of you and the world is dangerous.

I think you should talk to your bf about this.

You were a couple for 4 years, sure you still have 'feelings' left for him but that will end some time. Maybe it'S just because he's moving and you also saw him with someone else, you're probably a bit jealous but that's it. But you are happy with your current BF so just don't think about it too much.

You will definitely get over it at some point. It does take time to stop thinking about someone you were close with but being with someone better and closer with you should take your mind off it.

Usually I don't stay friends with my exes as it never works. My current boyfriend is exactly the same, he's not friends with any of his exes because well, what's the point? It's awkward and unrealistic to stay friends. Sometimes the best thing to do it to just leave it.

Unfortunately, when you're with someone for that long, they tend to stay with you. What you're going through is completely normal. I was in a really dysfunctional relationship with someone for 3 years, we broke up 7 years ago, and I still occasionally miss him or dream about him. That doesn't mean I want him to be any part of my life or regret us being separated, our break up was one of the best things to happen to me, but our pasts are a part of us and the feelings we have for people stay with us.

Emotions are not always logical and they don't always reflect what we want. What's important is that you recognize that he abused you and you do not want to be with him anymore. These feelings will fade with time and become more a part of the background of your life as things move on. The fact that he's moving is probably bringing them forward because the change is bringing thoughts about him forward, but unless the thoughts and feelings are becoming intrusive or causing problems in your other relationships they're not something to worry about.

I am with someone that can be verbally abusive. It is very hard. I think it is all part of the letting go process. Maybe you have finally let go of the anger from the break up and have moved on to a point where you can actually remember the good times. Just remember he is an ex for a reason but I think it is natural you miss someone you spent that long of a time with.