A good friend of mine and her boyfriend went their separate ways this past weekend.

The two were very close, almost identical, in interest and personality. They were going to get engaged when he came home from their long distance relationship, but college took its toll and he found out that his grandparents (who are probably paying for his tuition) won't let him come home.

As heartbreaking as it is there is a bit of a happy ending.

He told her to wait for him to get out of college, which is in four years. So now I have this poor heartbroken girl that lives with me waiting and closing her heart off from everyone so she can be with her supposed soulmate. As the 'mama bear' of the group I look after I would highly be against this and tell her like it is, but I've seen the two together, and they certainly display 'soulmate' behavior. She had also told me about how she had dreamed about meeting him even before they met. These dreams were on-and-off for two years, and then when she met him she said she felt like she had known him for a thousand years, though she knew nothing about him. The other day her ex of three years added her on Facebook. They've been talking all this week, and it has been exactly four years since she had left her. So, with her being her, she's taking it as a sign, but she had still came to me and asked if it was 'worth it.'

Four years is a long time, I told her that, and I asked her how she felt about the situation. She, in detail, had told me that she had felt 'hollow' like a part of her had been ripped out and she just wanted it back. I then asked her how much she worked and faught to get the relationship to work and she told me she did everything she could and would do anything that he wanted her to. Lastly I asked her who had been on her mind at all hours of the day, she said his name, then who she saw when she closed her eyes, she again said his name.

A day ago she came to me again and asked the same question. I haven't given an answer. I know she is just doubting things because the brain goes both ways and often considers both sides of a situation, so that is why I want to get someone else's opinion on the matter.

What do you think? If you had fallen in love with someone, to the point where they were all you could think about and you swore that they were your 'soulmate', and they had to leave, would you wait for them if they told you to?

In general, I think it is a bit selfish to ask someone to put their life on hold for you. That said, reading what you wrote it's a bit hard to pass that judgment to this situation without bounds.

Still, I can't help but think that she should be able to explore her life during these four years and to ask her not to is still selfish. I mean, if they're really meant to be together then they'll still end up together in the end, right? So why shouldn't she be able to even consider dating others if the opportunity presents itself?

I was engaged once to a guy who decided to put our wedding on hold so he could "find himself." At first I was willing to wait because I honestly thought I was meant to be with him, but then I realized that I didn't have to pause my entire life to wait for him. I moved out and went back to school. In retrospect it was the best thing I could have done for that situation. The point in telling you this? The guy realized that when I wasn't going to sacrifice my life for him that he didn't want to be with me anymore. I was head over heels, completely dedicated to being with him still, too.

I'm not saying this guy is a jerk like my ex-fiance. I'm just saying that your friend shouldn't sacrifice any aspect of her life for four years just because this guy asked her to. If he really loved her, wouldn't he want her to have the full experience of those four years?

I had been with someone for 6 years when we hit a really rough patch in our relationship and he decided we needed to take some time apart to "find ourselves" again. At the time, we were still both convinced we were soulmates, and that we were meant to be - so I was confident it was only a temporary split, and that one day we would work it out and be together again.

I put my entire life on hold, waiting for him to come back to me; and I wasted two years before I realized that it was never going to happen. In the two/three years since coming to that realization, my life has improved tenfold. I've moved on, and I'm getting married to an absolutely amazing man in December - someone I wouldn't have stopped to consider pursuing had I still been waiting on my ex (who, surprise surprise, still hasn't tried to come back).

So, coming from someone who had to learn the hard way? No, it's not worth it to put your own life on hold because someone told you they may or may not one day decide to come back to you.

My bf and his ex had a long distance relationship, actually they never met in person, but they said that they will move together in 5 years, that was nearly 5 years ago. She cheated on him which then caused him to meet some new friends and maybe build up a relationship, we met few month later and are now together for about 4 1/2 years and he is way more happy with me than he ever was with her.

Your friend should 'wake up'. She isn't seeing this as it really is. 4 years is a long time, many things can happen. He might fall in love with someone else and he might will love her even more that he loved her.

I personally, couldn't just wait. I would need to make plans to see each other one way or another. An online only relationship is hard, I've been in a couple that lasted a while, but without meeting it drove me nuts and hurt very badly. She needs to make this decision on her own, however. You giving your opinion is all it should be to her. If he is not even trying to figure out a way to see her, or for her to see him, then it kind of stinks. Do they talk at all? Online, phone, cam, anything like that? Also, if he is supposed to be a soul mate, then it doesn't matter if she "waits" or not, because in the end, either 4 years from now, or 40, they will be together when they are supposed to be. Maybe they both need to learn things from others before they can be happy together. There may be something they need to experience first.

Don't get me wrong, I whole-heartedly believe in soul mates, and true love. It's not like the movies, or books, but it's real, and it's work. ( Though, for me, it doesn't constantly feel like work) And I think LDRs and Online Relationships do work out, but can be harder than a regular relationship. Instead of thinking " I need to wait" She should be thinking more about her happiness, and what is going to make her a better person, and be ready for the type of relationship that a soul mate would be. Annnd, they need to meet. At least once, because I don't feel like they will truly know until then.

In my own personal experience, you can Think you know, and even think you know years after meeting (knowing someone is your soul mate), and something happens, and all of a sudden they are doing something you never thought they would do, and then realize they had been doing it all along, like guilting you into things that you wouldn't have normally done, or asking you to change your morals, or the things that make you, you.

Summarized: She needs to take time and really think about what is going on, and why she is waiting. She needs to get a chance to see him at least once, even if it involves her going out there, and making sure they are doing what they should be doing in their lives at this time.