I just finished typing up a story for my pet, RuFell, and I was wondering what people think of it, and if I should make it so that he can be nominated.

Thanks in advance. :)

The story is really nice. It is not too long, but not too short either. I think it's a very mysterious story, which is why I like it. I don't think I could give you any hints on how to improve it. However, if you want your pet to be nominated, it is best to make your own profile layout or buy a profile from a profile shop :)

I wish you good luck.

Thanks very much. I will think about it, but I've seen pets win who didn't have any profile layout at all, I think. The one I chose is simple, but the colors work.

You are welcome :) Most pet spotlight wins do have a layout, but sometimes it takes a while to load the background image. I'm not sure if there are any spotlight winners with a layout from subetaHQ etc... most people make their own profile or let someone else who has got a profile shop make one for them. If you use a layout that everyone is allowed to use, then the chance that you'll win the pet spotlight is smaller. I think the layout matches the story and the pet as well. If you are going to make a layout by yourself, you could use the colors of the current layout.

I liked the story alot! It is really nice to read and not to long! But the profile is a no from me because you see this profile alot. I think you could get a profile (it does not have to be expensive!) but one more fitting with your story. Maybe a profile that looks like the Polar Ice Fields so you really get that feeling you are there.

The only pet I know who won spotlight with a premade layout is this one. Another "simple" profile I can think of is this one. But after reading comments of some past winners, I really recommend you to make/buy another layout. Because when you win and get comments like "there is no effort" "it's boring" "woah, lazy" and so on... it really spoils the joy one can have at winning. If I were you I'd rather spend some sp and be sure I won't get this kind of comments. Sure there are other sources of spotlight drama but if you can avoid one it's better ^^

Agreed with above. Plus, its really fun to get a layout! I don't have any for my pets, but I look forward to getting my first ;;

So yes, the story! Here's a few things I found? Though let me first say this is such a well written story. Very descriptive! I can almost feel the cold or the fur of the legecia when its described, so I think you did a wonderful job.

I'd suggest getting rid of the "---------------------- " separations. I think the story can flow together nicely with just a few added words. A lot of them do not even need additions.

For example, instead of "You've made it past the small, vicious bear-like creatures that dwell here" something like "However, you've come this far and there's no use turning back. Already you've successfully made it past the small, vicious bear-like creatures that dwell here."

On that note, make that paragraph a little more fleshed out. I see a few run-on sentences, and things that could be as well described as your first paragraph. Also since the story is from the perspective of someone fighting the snow, and everyone knows you shouldn't go to sleep! Maybe have the first-person-adventurer try to fight it.

Like the first paragraph the third is glorious! Very well descriptive and enough that you can visualize and kind of 'live in the story'.

One thing that stands out: "Some small creatures appear" but they're not described. Again to match that 'living in it' theme, I'd suggest filling in what these small creatures look like. You mention they're hard to see, but what DO you see? Blurrs, simply some blotches of something moving? I think it only stood out to me because the rest of your story is so detailed. xD

"Scraping at a nearby mound in the snow with his crystal hooves, the Legeica uncovers a bunch of Frost Berries, lifts them daintily in his mouth, and nudges at you to take them, which you gladly do." Run-on sentence, I believe, that could easily be split into multiple. I'd also suggest using something like "Stem of frost berries" or a "bush", something more clear than "bunch".

ANYWAYS. That's about all I can find, and that's nitpicking at it, trust me! So I hope that helps you fine-tune your wonderful story! >v< Its very good, and a concept everyone knows if they've ever been to the polar ice fields. I like the concept of a warm, gentle guardian out there helping people.

Best of luck!