I want to kill my roommates.
Replies
THIS IS FUCKING REALLY LONG. WARNED YOU. BEFORE YOU SAY IT - The issue with a "sit-down-and-talk-about-it" is this: 1.) M is gone or constantly with his girlfriend in the house. When his girlfriend is in the house, no matter HOW LOUD you scream at his door, he pretends that he isn't there. Even though he very obviously is. Why? Because his girlfriend is at the house. And she's/they're loud. To top it off, his girlfriend, by order of her parents, is not actually supposed to be at the house EVER.
2.) Cworks constantly; on top of that he is INCREDIBLY sensitive to criticism, and will instantly guilt-trip me about OMGEVERYTHINGIDOWRONG if I so much as bring up ONE THING that bothers me.
3.) I am constantly at school or traveling for work/to see my boyfriend.
So here we go. It's long. Idgaf if you don't want to read it there WILL NOT be a tl;dr at the end. gdiaf, I am ragey. Read one or the other instead or both if you're all whiny over length.
M
So M was the original person I was going to move in with. We were pretty good friends, but not so much that moving in together would be weird. We had established some basic ground rules for the house: no drugs/alcohol; boyfriends/girlfriends would not be over constantly especially during the school week; ask if you're bringing people over; do your part in the house cleaning etc. etc. He has effectively broken every single one of those house rules. I have ranted endlessly about him since he moved in, and moving in with him was obviously a huge mistake. I have no idea how to handle it. I want to yell at him AND his girlfriend constantly - but.. given the above , I would obviously be ignored.
But here's the cake-taker: A few months back (in a whirlwind of horrible shitty things happening in my life, no less) he backed into my car. Not just backed into it, no. But... side-swiped it while backing into it, so there's a MASSIVE amount of damage all down the side of my car. Some of you may know this, others may not - my car is my child. It's a red Subaru WRX and I literally treat that car better than I treat myself. His responds to hitting my car (while taking his girlfriend home at 10PM - again, see above) by texting me, "Hey, I just hit your car." and then continues to drive his girlfriend home instead of coming back inside and talking to me.
So shit goes down that basically he doesn't want to put it on his insurance. Because I'm easily guilt-tripped, and he didn't want his insurance to go up, I understand (as his friend) and am like ,"Hey, yeah, that's okay, just have the money up-front and ready when I go to get it fixed." Well, since then he's been telling me, "Yeah, I have it all saved up, no problem!" and so naturally, when I went to finally go get an estimate and asked him how he intended to pay for it his response of, "I have no idea how I'm going to pay for it" threw me off a little.
Turns out he was lying the whole time. He only ever had a couple hundred dollars, and he "gave that to some friends to help them out" a few months ago. So basically he gave away money that, technically, wasn't his, and now I have no idea what to do because I need to get my fucking car fixed. He also told me, "I don't even have enough to pay the deductible for the insurance" and I want to punch him in the freaking balls.
The company I got my car estimated at (who have so far not sent me the estimate in an email like they were supposed to.. derp derp derp) require you to pay the FULL amount at time of payment. No payment plans, or anything of that sort. So... basically, I have no clue wtf I'm going to do about it now.
On top of that the girlfriend issue (her being over constantly), and the fact that he doesn't clean a goddamned thing are both killing me. Basically, when his girlfriend who apparently never bathes takes a shower, the shower basically gets clogged with her long hair, and then the MASSIVE amount of dirt that she apparently stores on her body just dries on the tub because it doesn't get taken down the drain and it turns black. He also apparently has aiming issues, so both of the "boy-utilized" bathrooms (I have my own) smell horribly of piss. HORRIBLY, so much that the house smells like piss (except my room/bathroom which I keep closed off). I'm sorry, I'll eventually break and clean up the bath tub so that I don't feel like I need to take a shower after getting out of the shower, but I refuse to clean up your fucking piss. You're not my boyfriend, brother, or father. Just no.
C
C moved in after M, and I have known C as a relatively close friend for awhile, but not totally close. I knew he had some emotional issues before he moved in, but was okay with that, whatever. We got along really really really really REALLY well up until a couple of weeks ago. The only thing that I think could have triggered this sudden change is that we did a motorcycle training course together, and because it was in relative distance to my family's properties, we were going to stay on one of them instead of driving two hours in the morning. What basically happened is.. he showed up at the property, got totally freaked out (I honestly cannot explain why), and drove all the way back home. He then proceeded to do the two-hour drive to and from the course the entire weekend (and also complained about it significantly to me). Since then he has been a total dick. TOTAL dick. I have NO clue why.
Basically what started happening is he started getting super holier-than-though towards me. I left my dishes in the sink over night? He does them and insists that he "does all of the work in the house" (nope nope nope; that constantly black bathtub? we've lived here a year. M has cleaned it once after a week of me nagged [never again], C has cleaned it twice; I therefore have cleaned it EVERY OTHER TIME. He insists he's the "only one that mops" because he is the only one with a mop - nope nope nope, I do it the old-fashioned way with a rag, warm water and soap on my hands and knees just like my mama and so on and so forth). He also feels the need to ENTER MY ROOM WITH A CLOSED DOOR while I am not home and VACUUM my room for me. He has done this on multiple occasions, despite me clearly asking him NOT to, whether "the door is a little cracked" or not. He also feels the need to comment on when my room is messy EVERY TIME it is messy (hey, I'm a science major, I have two lab courses, a night class, and spend most of my time studying. Wondering why I leave the dishes in the sink and my room is dirty? I hardly have time to cook/eat and get dressed/shower between studying let alone do my dishes right away/clean my room... which is my fucking space anyway) which is EXTREMELY stressful for me, because then I feel like I'm somehow inconveniencing him with my room (even though he shouldn't see it anyway BECAUSE THE DOOR IS FUCKING CLOSED).
On top of that, since the weird "not gonna stay here" incident, he's apparently decided that all of my food is his food. I buy expensive food (organic, healthy type stuff) for myself assuming that I will be the only one eating it. I have a REALLY strict budget, and food is important to me so I budget it well for that. However, like most people in my situation, I definitely don't have enough to feed two people, let alone feed two people as well as I feed myself. To top it off, not only does he deny eating half of the time (only to cop up to it later) he only leaves enough so that I BARELY have enough to satisfy me (so that he doesn't have to replace it because he didn't finish it off). My banana peppers, pepperocinis, bagels, yogurt, (extremely expensive) chocolate-covered acai and blueberries, my cereal, the list goes on. There is food in the house that is communal and it is in a very specific space (and I am usually the one to replenish most of it, i.e. the milk and juices, whereas they buy.. eggs. Sometimes.) The food that is mine is also in a very specific space: my cupboard on my shelves, or my shelf and drawer in the fridge.
When I confronted him about eating my food, I had to do it over text message for several reasons (see the above, as well as the fact that I wasn't going to be home for several days... and haven't been home since this happened, actually, except to sleep... literally). It was in the morning and he was at work, and I sent it assuming he would read it on a break and not respond until he got OFF of work like he does with most of my messages. INSTEAD when I get was not him apologizing for eating my food, but him LASHING out on me for "texting him at work" and for "confronting him about it" via text message (mind you, I hardly see him because we both are out of the house so much and... again I haven't been home since this happened). I let him know right off that, "Hey, I WILL NOT SEE YOU FOR A LONG TIME and needed to bring it up" but he was still completely outraged over the fact that "omg I texted him at work" even though it was completely his choice to read/respond to the message. I also have yet to even receive an apology about it, and he actually hasn't even said a word to me since I talked to him that morning.
So I have no idea what to do with them. I have serious anxiety issues that I've had in-check for the last couple of months, however going home sometimes makes me feel like I'm going to have an anxiety attack because I'm in the center of these two ridiculous conflicts that I feel like I have no control over and have no idea what to do. So I've been kind of NOT going home, which obviously is not ideal seeing as how I have finals in a week, plants to take care of, and I fucking PAY RENT THERE. But I'm ready to Rage Quit and move somewhere else, except 1.) My lease there doesn't end until the beginning of August, 2.) I don't have that kind of money, and 3.) I don't have that kind of time.
So I have no idea what to do. I have asked for a "roomie pow-wow" multple times in the last two weeks and have been literally ignored by BOTH of them. I'm slamming my head into a wall here, especially since I AM THE ORIGINAL FUCKING LEASE HOLDER. It was obviously a mistake adding them onto the lease instead of just having them pay me as their land manager. GAH.
if I'm honest it sounds like hell, but you've managed it this long, it can last till August and then get the hell out of the there. They sound like complete dicks that don't abide by house rules... the one that comes into your room to tidy sounds like he has some form of OCD. The fact you've tried to talk to them but nothings worked means you have to zone in on yourself and ignore them for three months then move. I keep thinking I can't live at home for another two years (I'm studying full time and can't afford to move out.) But I've lived here for 21, so I can manage another two. I also get anxiety at home, and it's not nice. You don't feel comfortable in your own home and it's one of the worst feelings. I wish you luck with your finals, if they piss you off to a horrid extent I'd contact your landlord and complain about them--maybe they can talk to them/give them a warning/boot them out?
[tot=Jenni]
Does your door have a lock, or could you install one? If my roommates kept insisting on coming in my room, I'd just lock it when I leave. And for the food, do you have any space in your room to keep it? I learned a long time ago I have to store my food in my closet/mini-fridge, because the pantry is apparently fair game for anyone.
And I'm kind of an ass about these kinds of things, but if M screwed up your car and can't/won't pay for it, I'd report it to my insurance. You gave him a chance to fix it and he gave away what little money he'd saved for it. After the way he and his girlfriend have been treating you, I see no reason you should do him any favors anyway. Although that might make the next two months awkward, but what's the worst he could do?
Man, this makes me glad my bitchy roommate moved out yesterday. /sigh
Think you may be able to contact the police, too, not sure if that is correct, though? I mean it's been a while now, and they could say you have no proof. >:
[tot=Jenni]
The landlords actually know both C and M personally, which I didn't know until I added them onto the Lease. And because they're actually ON the lease, I have no idea what the process of kicking them out would be, PLUS I don't have $800 to give for rent every month either. So basically I'm stuck just dealing with them, but the fact that going home makes me want to have an anxiety attack is obviously not good :/
Nope. The only doors with locks are the bathrooms. They both knock when I'm home, but C apparently feels obliged to enter when I'm not home even though I've asked him not to., and there's no real way to prevent him physically from going in my room because... I don't think I can actually install a lock? I think it's against my lease contract. And I am super jealous.
And respond to both of you - I may just report it to my insurance, but if he doesn't report it to his it'd be considered a hit and run (by all means what it actually was, but technical stand points), and even though I'd rather punch him in the face than go home right now, I'm not one to fuck someone over like that for life. My sister got in a hit in run when she FIRST got her license; at first the people didn't even file charges against her because she was so young, but then a few years after they started the process of suing my mom for the incident. Luckily they couldn't because it had been a few years, but still. And as far as contacting the police... I don't know if that's really necessarily something I'm willing to do, either... more than likely I'll just scavenge his insurance number from his wallet or the paperwork in his car and surprise him with a bill. But, again, he's never called his insurance company about the accident and neither did I (big mistake) so I have no idea if they could refute it based on the grounds that it was several months ago or what.. and I don't know whether or not he'd allow it to go through and if he DIDN'T then I could potentially be charged with insurance fraud (even though it very much was his fault). I'm an incredibly good driver and have never been in an accident/gotten a ticket/anything like that, so I literally have ZERO knowledge of how this all would work XD
Consider talking to your landlord about the shitty state that M and his girlfriend are leaving the place in. It might cause him/her to consider contacting them since they're technically making the place harder for them to get new tenants in. I'm sorry shit has gotten so weird with your roommates. I had a roommate situation, I moved in with two best friends (with eachother, I didn't know them) and the one turned out to be a totally crazy bitch. I HATED her... ugh. So much. Luckily my other roommate agreed that she was a totally crazy bitch so I wasn't like FUUUUU all the time. It was a long and painful ordeal and caused me insane amounts of stress but ended with her eventually deciding she was going to move out because A (my other roommate and her ex best friend) was being "really cold" to her and she could tell we both didn't want her. We gladly pushed her out the door without having a subleaser aligned yet because we couldn't stand her that much. We ended up only having to pay a little extra rent because we got someone to sublet pretty early on. Maybe see if anyone wants to sublease at your place for you? Might be hard considering your roommates suck though..