I've reached the point where I've pretty much written off the majority of my family. I've been trying for years to come closer to them (three people, in particular), but no matter how many baby showers, birthdays, and other family get-togethers I frequent, they're constantly looking the other way.

Last year, I went to a baby shower for a cousin of mine. I had gifts in my trunk for her other children (since you always want to bring something for the older kids to events like that), and she couldn't have cared less. When I asked if I could take them to her house to give to her kids, she shrugged it off and never gave me a yes or no answer. However, from her body language, I could tell she didn't want me anywhere near her house or children. This irritated me, since she'll take my baby shower gift without a blink of an eye, but doesn't want to actually interact with me or allow me to be around her children.

I'm getting the same vibes from the other members of my family as well. It's awkward as hell when we're in the same room together, and no one ever tries to strike up a conversation with me.

The nail that sealed the coffin, though, was when I sent out my college graduation announcements. Each of my family members got a notice, but only ONE even acknowledged me with a card. ONE. It's pretty sad when I get more cards/gifts from people I barely know (my mother's friends) than my own damn family.

I'm to the point where I don't give a shit about them anymore. Why should I waste my time and effort trying to repair a relationship that's obviously irreparable? I know family is important, but I feel like I'm better off just accepting them as a lost cause and moving on.

have you done anything in your past to make them like that? And even if you have they are your family and that's a horrible thing for them to do, I'm sorry that is happening.

and you aren't overracting

I know EXACTLY where you're coming from. My mothers side of the family have some kind of.. nutty intense dislike of me for no reason, I have a feeling it's because my uncle (who I dislike a lot for several reasons, and the feeling is mutual) spreads lies about me to them about ths and that, so I have pretty much no contact with that side of my family. I send birthday cards, and don't recieve a thank you call, birthday/christmas gifts, no thank you. So I've pretty much given up and accepted they're just not going to hear my side of anything. I got birthday cards from everyone on my dads side of the family, him, my step-mom and sister, my grandpa etc, but I got one from my moms side, from my other Uncle who I have no problems with. The rest of them don't call/nothing and I have no idea why, since my grandma has always seemed to dislike me even when I was too young to have done anything wrong.

I don't think you're overreacting in the slighest, especially if you haven't done anything that could cause them to ask this way towards you. If you're reaching out constantly and getting burned, I'd say until they learn to grow up and appreciate you, cut all ties.

There has to be some kind of reason behind it, even if its not true or its completely stupid, there has to be some kind of reason. My dads side of the family is really close, but everyone outside of my immediate family dislikes me because my mom got arrested for heroin when I was 5. Obviously I didnt do anything wrong, and its not my fault. Its not a valid reason, but in their mind it is.

Family doesn't have to just be blood, though, which is something I think people sometimes forget. Family is the people you are closest to, love the most, and trust the most. It's not always functional but it's always there for you. That to me is a family.

You aren't overreacting in the slightest. They clearly don't want anything to do with you, and whatever the reason to it, that is just that. I think it's time you give up. My mother and I have disowned the rest of our family, and for good reason. It's surprisingly easy to do. I'm just sorry to hear that they're treating you in such a manner. That's beyond rude.

To answer both of your posts, the only thing I can think of that could be causing a problem would be that my cousin seems to think I referred to her as a "slut". This is because my father (who is a bit of an asshat) put words into my mouth and offered his own opinions as if they were my own. (I never said she was a slut, and I didn't feel that way.) Of course I told my Grandmother that wasn't true (she was the one who told me this in the first place), and asked her to let the rest of the family know. Apparently they either didn't believe her or she never told them.

Either way, they've never come to ME about it, so they'd rather just believe my dad.

(We weren't super close before this incident, either. I think this is just what sent it into a spiraling vortex of suck.)

That's exactly what happened with my uncle. Me and him had several fights while he was living with me and my mom, long story short, a lot of bad shit was exchanged, and he decided to run and tell my family that I'd called them this and that when I hadn't, and none of them seem to want to hear my side of it so /shrug. Fuck 'em. If you don't have the decency to come and hear me out, it's not worth wasted breath.

If they're going to be so petty as to not even listen to your side of the story, then I'd say it's a waste of time. Wait for them to grow up and get with it, and if they don't, it's no big loss because they weren't worth it to begin with. Just because family is family doesn't mean you should make exceptions for unreasonable behavior.

Family isn't everything. I only talk to my parents and one cousin. I hate my dad's side of the family more than anything. They are complete morons and are the dirtiest stupidest people I know. And my mom's side are just plain lazy and dumb. And my fiancee only has me, his parents are complete douche bags and don't care about him, even though lives with them, and his brothers only talk to him when they want something. Not every family is like the Brady Bunch. I mean it does suck that some families don't care, but if they don't care why should you right?

you aren't overreacting. i'm going through the same thing with my mom's side of the family. they're all money hungry and greedy and i'm just.. chill. basically, just don't try to associate yourself with them and that might sound horrible, but if they don't like you now, what is all the effort in the world going to do? nothing. they still most likely won't like you, so i think you'd be better if you just stayed away from them.

There was a time when I wanted to move closer to them, so hopefully we could repair our relationship. But now I feel like, "Why should I uproot myself for their benefit?" I doubt they'd appreciate the gesture, anyway.

For now, I'll stick with the people who do care about me, and try to make new friendships and acquaintances when I can.

I would try to mend the relationship and get rid of the tension somehow. No matter what, family should stick with you through thick and thin. The same thing happened to me since my mother didn't have the best reputation so they assumed that it rubbed off on me. This was a totally unfair accusation and soon enough, they started talking to me and realized I wasn't a bad person. Now, we are closer than ever and. I love them more than anything. :]