Pretty much, I'll just write out how the texts went, and hopefully I'll get some feedback on if I handled this situation right, and....what it might mean.

BACKGROUND STORY I really like this guy, and he really likes me back. Except....he lives in Illinois. I live in Ohio. So it's a bit of a distance. I was planning on visiting for his birthday to see if we'd be compatible. Now, we've had some rocks in the road before, like when he really liked another girl and liked me. All while she liked him equally as much as me. And....suddenly, more girls started going after him. And....we managed to get through that, and him still liking me more.... Anyways, here goes.

Sounds pretty clear that he likes this other girl and will probably get together with her. Unless he's just a player who leads girls on only to move on to the next one. Which i'm also kinda getting from what you said.

But as for how you handled it, i think it was fine? You could've sounded jealous and possessive and tried to pry him away from this girl, but you told him to do what he wants. So yeah. But it's a bit weird that he still wants to meet up over summer..as a friend or what? If i were you i'd be a bit confused where i stand.

Personally, I would not be trying to pursue a relationship with this guy. You aren't even dating yet, and he's already trying to stir up drama? Because that's exactly what this reads like to me. Honesty is very important, but there's a difference between saying "Hey, this happened and I'm conflicted" and saying "I betrayed my friends! I hurt everyone around me! I'm a bad person!" You know what I mean? That just screams "red flag" to me.

As far as how you handled it, I do think you played into his drama-mongering, but I think that's kind of unavoidable in situations like that. Otherwise I think you handled it fine.

He's quite the gentleman, so I wouldn't think he's like that, but we've never really met in person, closest we've gotten face-to-face is skype chat. I just....I really don't know. One thing to note, is he's very insecure with decisions. So that might've been part of the situation in the background information.

Good to know that I kind of did the right thing. One thing I've always believed in is love is a two-way street. And if one person would be happier dating a different one, then the current relationship has no hope and they should split ways. It's just better to be happy. Really, I'm heartbroken. But I didn't want to convey that for fear it'd make me wind up sounding possesive and trying to force a different decision than he'd want.

It is a bit weird. I think as a friend....? I really don't know, honestly. And that's why I posted here. I'd think that maybe a perspective that's a bit less cloudy-minded at the moment, as I hada rough time last night(different issue) and now this, so I'm not particulairly thinking straight.

I think you handled it fine. A lot depends on what kind of relationship you two have. Not sure what you meant by "we managed to get through that" - did you guys become exclusive boyfriend/girlfriend? Did you settle for friends who might become more? Its one thing to have a long distance relationship with someone who you've met and already committed to, who later moves. But this is something that, so far, has only existed online. Its hard to make any real commitment in this kind of situation. Do you (both of you) choose to wait until you meet to see if the relationship can move from internet to real life, and give up someone who may come to mean more to you? Or do you date other people and go from there?

The one thing that has to happen is clear communication and complete honesty. If he wants to date this girl, he needs to say so outright, not just hint. Also you need to be clear about your potential visit to him. What you expect from the visit itself and what you expect from him during your visit.

Even when we were just friends, he just stirred up 'drama'. I dunno'. Maybe my mind is just clouded. But I've always found him to just be emotional as, well, he's very emotional in good and bad ways, and, I've noticed, uses his emotions a bit more than his brain. ^.^; He's not as much of a logical thinker. But yeah, I do kind of see what you mean.

Good to know that given the situation I handled it fine.

Yes, you're right that people should be free to be with who they want. But i agree with the others who said that he does sound like he enjoys stirring up drama; he didn't really seem to consider your feelings too much when he gave you the details of this other girl kissing him, despite the fact that he tried to cover it up by being dramatic and saying things like "oh i just betray everyone"

I agree with Lypsyl, he needs to be clear in his communication to you. If he's going to date this girl he needs to be clear about that, and tell you that there's no hope for the two of you. Especially since it's long distance; you might still be inclined to pine after him if he's not clear about what he actually wants/feels.

We settled to be friends with a high chance of being something more.

That's one thing, that probably led up to this problem, that we didn't specify. But we wanted to wait until meeting in person to see if it'd be right for us.

After a bit of work, I did manage to get an answer, and we're staying friends. And I'll be visiting as a friend and nothing more.

Now that I'm thinking a bit clearer, as I started asking questions for details and to make sure we're clear and on the same page with everything.

Got clear communication from him. The one thing about relationships that will eat away at me is if communication is not clear. Even if I'm madly in love with someone, and they just say "I don't want to date you for these reasons...", then I will not have bad feelings about it. I may be upset for a day, but after that, I'm fine. Like once, I told a friend I really liked him, he was clear, short, and to the point. But yes, I kind of pushed him a bit to make sure we're clear with how things will be. And....he seemed surprised that I was so cool with just staying friends.

That's good then, i'm glad you're making sure you know where you stand :)

Definitely. :) Ah....now that the situation is all taken care of, it's turning out to be a nice day. Even got some stuff free for my diabetic cat. Thanks everyone so much for your help.