Am I acting out of line and being shallow?
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I have ben dating this guy for 4 months, we met on Match (my first date from online). We click in many ways since we both love arts, our photography love is about the same :) and we can laugh and have a good time. The problem is that it's only been 4 months and he is already saying he really loves me and wants to marry me some day. Now he is fun and all, but I feel over welmed(can't spell) with the things he says about us... not to mention he is a talker and he says he hears me but if i say something that can be taken as an attack like what happened recently "I'm still not sure if I'm conferrable with you going on the family vacation with me since it's only been 4 months." He just got so offended and disappointed when I have been warning him that I wasn't sure. Apparently I did say yes to it, but it could have been a 'yeh yeh' kind of thing that I do when I keep hearing the same thing and zone out -.- I'm bad at paying attention to stuff I heard before... I mentioned to him many times that I feel he is being clingy, but he refuses to believe it. I can't stand his sensitivity and concern for our relation ship and it makes me uncomfortable that he asks about something over and over until he hears what he wants (he told me he doesn't realize he does it) I am his first Girlfriend (he's 22) :/ he says he's been on dates before (not relationship ones) and observed enough relationships to know one, but idk. Should I just give him more time to relax more. I kinda feel trapped in the relationship any way since he is a guy willing to joke around and have fun even in public :), but like I said the clinginess, sensitivity and the fact the he has bi-polar and dyslexia doesn't help since he has trouble understanding things from the dyslexia and the sensitivity maybe from the bi-polar even tho he is on meds... I'll stop yapping now I am still young(19) and have A LOT of learning to do when it comes to life... relationships always seem to catch me by surprise tho... I'll shut up sorry...(thanks for reading all that if you did/could from my typos O.o
It sounds like he's deciding everything in the relationship by manipulating you, whether he realizes it or not. You aren't being shallow or acting out of line. If you're uncomfortable, he should be respecting that. You've known each other for four months online. You both still have a lot to get to know about each other, and if you feel he's pushing too quickly or not listening to you when he makes you uncomfortable, tell him. If he's really interested in making this work, he'll listen to what you say and try to work on what he may be doing wrong. If he doesn't listen and stop pushing you, then maybe he isn't the right guy for you.
Honestly, I don't think you're acting shallow at all. Like you said, it's only been four months since you started dating and I think he's jumping the gun a bit. I totally understand how you would feel uncomfortable in that kind of situation but on his point of view, your his first girlfriend so he's probably really excited that you two have clicked. This is just my advice and you don't need to take it at all but if you do want to keep working the both of you are going to compromise and tell each other what's up. He's going to need to tone down on the clingyness and on your part maybe hear him out a little more? Or you guys can just step down from a relationship and just hang out more, get to know each other and maybe get more comfortable with one another. Hope this helps! :)
Thanks I'll try to explain how uncomfortable I am to him :) I'm just guttless
Nah, you're really not. It sounds like you've been trying to tell him this before, but were just unsure if you were being unfair. It helps to get an outsider's perspective sometimes. :)
It helps thanks, but we were hanging out every day since my dorm got infested with rats so I lived with him to get way from the squeaking... but it cooled down to once a week. I'll try to be a better listener and fight my horrible habit of zoning XP