So I've been posting a few times about some problems I'm dealing with, and I feel that maybe it's time that I can finally seek some sort of help so I won't have to continue on living like this since lately it's been kind of just going too far with feeling as though something could happen any minute. Thing is, I don't know how I can exactly get help since I can't seem to bring myself to talk to someone in real life even though I'll have to and I'm a bit of an idiot since I don't know where to really go or how to explain to my parents or anybody that I just might need it. With my parents it seems like they think that there's nothing wrong with me and as said I don't know how I can break it to them or go about it some way where I can lie to them so they won't have to find out right away. Plus I've been to the doctor's a few times including yesterday for other reasons even though I was considering on telling the doctor what's been going on since I kind of denied some of the questions they've asked me by saying some things were alright when really they aren't that probably affects my health too... I'm thinking maybe a counselor at school if I try this week some time during the day but I wouldn't even know how I can go about that either. I don't know if I have anxiety, depression, whatever, or what, but it's just really making me have had it. It's just interfering with what I should or should have been doing that's making me not even go out at times when I have to or do things that I need to get done but I just don't have that motivation in me anymore. I'm really socially awkward too and can't even stand being around other people (which explains why I can't bring myself to go much of anywhere since there's going to be a good amount of people around me) let alone even making eye contact with them. So... I guess what I'm asking is how can I really get the help that I need without feeling anxious or backing out, and how can I break it to my parents (or at least my mother since I can't tell my father anything...) so maybe they can understand and realize something has to give since they've even noticed how I'm backing out and making excuses to not do anything?... I mean, if I really could just go and do what I have to do without ending up all anxious and crying over the fact I have to go then I'd do it. I don't want all hopes lost just yet.>.<

EDIT - Sorry that this seems kind of run on and rambling.:/ If anybody can at least just help or if you don't get some of what I just asked then don't hesitate to just ask me to explain myself again and I'll try getting to the point. Know asking on this kind of site is probably not something that should be the first thing to do, but I really don't know where else to ask since I'm hoping maybe I can get some straightforward answers here.

I feel like all you can do is just say it. If you really want and need help, you have to talk to someone. No one will be able to help you if you can't tell them what's wrong. The more you think about it, the more you'll psych yourself out, and the less you'll want to do it. Once you've talked to someone, getting help is pretty easy.

Just keep your mind on the goal of getting better instead of the worries of talking to someone. And as for not telling your parents...I feel like telling them is a good idea. You'll need all the support you can get.

You're right. I have told my mother once before how I seem to be in public, but we didn't really take it too serious where I would go to the doctor for that purpose. I'm hoping I can bring myself at least to a school counselor this coming week since I really need to get some things done for the next few weeks and I've been backing out since I just can't get myself to go to them. Ugh.

I went through this EXACT process not too long ago! It's really tough and can be scary, but it's worth it. For me, it turned out the person I was seeing really didn't mesh well with me and that will happen. But going to your school counselor FIRST is a really, really really good option. Not only because they're close + free, but because they can perhaps have a conversation with your parents about the issue (if you wanted them to) in order for you to get some help outside of your campus. I'm not sure how your school is set up, so getting a hold of a counselor may be kind of tough - but I would perhaps email the front desk/counseling officials and see what the process is just to get a roll into it.

Once you step into their office everything just melts away, or at least it did for me. Even though the person I was seeing didn't turn out to be what I needed, I realized what it was that I DID need and that was enough for me in going through the trauma of going to see them.

If you have any questions I'll answer them happily ❤ I'm glad you're thinking about getting help.

P.S. It's ok if you don't let your family know. The only three people that knew I was seeing a counselor were my boyfriend, my bestie Jake, and the person who referred me to the lady.