Hey everyone I'm here to complain again. Before anyone mentions that I need to move out, I will be, I'm working on it. Anyways, My moms boyfriend....I have no fucking clue what his problem is. One day we spilled some milk and forgot to clean it up so he did it and scratched up the table then came to us and talked to us like we're six and called us lazy trailer trash shit who don't care about anything.

Keep in mind I buy my own food, do my own laundry/dishes, and clean up after all my messes, not to mention buy the body wash I scrub my ass with, this just happened to be a special occasion where we forgot to clean up a mess.

SO yeah that kinda made me mad. Then he went up to my boyfriend and started the whole in your face DO YOU UNDERSTAND, SAY YES thing. That made me kinda worried but I figured it's whatever.

Yesterday, my moms boyfriend took out the garbage. He didn't put a bag back into it. My boyfriend didn't know and put a wrapper into the garbage. So my moms bf sees that something was thrown away without a bag in the can and starts to get really mad and I'm in the kitchen on the computer....and he starts to raise his voice about how fucking pathetic we are and I was like, well, thats not my garbage. Then he starts raising his voice more at me to the point where my boyfriend and brother come out of the room, and he fucking GOES OFF. I mean he is screaming at the top of his lungs at me, my brother, and my boyfriend about how we are lazy, pathetic motherfuckers who are too stupid to put a bag back into the garbage and how hell never do anything for is again. I basically just sit there and I'm not particularly angry or scared but I can feel my cheeks and ears get really hot...since ive been pregnant my reactions to stress manifest physically more. The next morning he comes into our room, no apology, and asks if we know anything about how his shower rack got knocked down. We don't even go into that room. I felt like saying yes, we are conspiring against you and we knocked your shower rack over. lolzzzz.

Yesterday afternoon, it was getting really hot. 79 degrees. So I shut all of the windoes and turned the thermostat to 77 and my moms boyfriend comes in and turns the air conditioner off and puts duct tape over the thermostat that says DO NOT TOUCH AC.

I blew up. I was so hot I was sweating and flushed and the last thing I wanted to do was talk to this guy, so me and my bf went shopping and took our precious time since it would only get hotter for the next few hours.

My moms boyfriend doesn't work. He doesn't pay bills. He doesn't pay for his own food. He makes a bunch of lame fucking excuses.

And what bothers me the most is he has used every one of our slip ups with our messes (that have had nothing to do with our character, other than maybe forgetfulness) to attack us, lash out on us, and call us degrading names.

Neither me or my boyfriend have ever disrespected him. We don't even ask him why he doesn't work or anything like that. We pretty much already know hes just lazy and knows my moms check will pay the bill,

I started feeling bad about myself and wondering if I really was a piece of shit and brought this to my dad, which when I told him, I was even surprised at myself about how emotional I was about the way he was treating us and using my mother. My dad was infuriated to say the least, especially because he had raised this mans son for years and put thousands of dollars upon my mother even after their divorce.

Anyone have advice on how to deal with this? What his problem could be?

I'm not really sure how to go about dealing with it because hes already proved himself irrational and I don't want things to get worse after shit is brought up.

There's a lot of what ifs on what his issue could be, but I think that in this case, until you move out, just avoid him as best as possible. Starting up a conflict with a person like this is dangerous at best. If he starts to ever get violent, smashing around, throwing things, I'd call the cops. He sounds extremely unstable, and an abusive control freak.

So...he calls you guys all those things? Looks like a classic case of projection to me.

--could you explain projection more? or maybe give me a good resource? thats true, but honestly through all of this my biggest question was, what is really his problem? It obviously isn't us. He is schizo and is out of prison after 15 years on medication for armed robbing a subway while on cocaine, he also has burglary charges. I'm not sure how that factors into it but I don't feel bad for him, especially because it should have been apparent what the consequences to his actions are, and for the fact while he was in prison my father supported his son fully while my mother went to college. A lot of my problem in the situation is I can't really let things go. I don't feel like I should have or want to really, but I need to realize its for the best. On a positive note- I made 100 dollars today selling things of mine for my moving out savings account!

Projection is just telling people they have a problem when it's actually your own. For example, he calls you lazy, so he probably knows deep down that he's lazy himself, but he just won't admit it, so he projects it onto someone else. Here is the wiki.

Sounds unstable indeed.

In a nutshell what Kyradriel described is projection. A person will see the faults they have on the people around them. They will never want to admit to it themselves.

I agree with the others on this. Though I might also add that he has some intense anger management issues...

I'm sorry you have to deal with that. It sounds like my brother, he did stuff like that even though I cooked his meals, did his laundry, etc. I wouldn't try to rock the boat. If ever he does something that scares you or makes you think you might be in danger, you should call the cops on him. Good luck on saving to move out and congrats on selling your stuff to get $100. My family has been working on selling some of our stuff and it really isn't easy :P

Besides what all the other lovely advice givers covered, think about what you can do to make the situation better. The last thing you need to do is be around that kind of negative energy, but since you have no choice, do your best to remember that conflict with him will only make things worse. Nothing you do will change him. No matter what you say, he'll blow it off like, "There's nothing wrong with me, she's the one with the problem." Do your best to keep calm, and minimize the issue until you can move out.

Best wishes with your moving-out savings!

it sucks. unfortunately thats how it is though. people see an opportunity and they take it. Personally I was really, eh....rebellious when I was a teen and I put my parents through some things, but I never stole from the or made them a target for my verbal abuse. I will, and thank you! I'm definitely doing whatever I can to make sure I am not any part in any confrontations that go on in this house. It really isn't, everyone wants things for free or close to nothing. goodluck though :)

I definitely am. I have also been thinking about the same thing. Today I'm going to ask my father about the place he just bought which hes getting the keys to in june. Ive really been thinking and even though shit may not be popping off here left and right, the fact remains that there are two people in this house that are...just unstable and irrational. My father can be tough but he is not those other things...I also believe in energy manifesting and my brother just sitting around here all day every day isn't positive....especially when I have the baby around, but things are looking brighter and brighter everyday, I'm finally getting things worked out. I totally know what you mean, and as I said before I'm not bringing it up to anyone in the house except venting to my boyfriend because he has already proven himself irrational...anyways, thanks so much!

Thanks for the luck :) I hope you're doing alright hug