Well, I'm going to try not to make this too lengthy, but I do need to explain a little bit of backstory..

I've posted a bit about this before. My first boyfriend and I dated for about 2 years. It ended on an awful note, as he left me for a close friend of mine. They had been seeing each other behind my back(and all of our friends' backs). Going to the beach and such. When it ended, I was in pieces. I was quite a wreck and I binged and I cried and I starved myself and I treated other guys like shit(led two or three guys on that I really shouldn't have, was icey to any guy that tried to get close) and I thought that I was becoming a better person. Thought that I was evolving into someone that could win any guy over. I was jealous as I watched their love blossom. I was angry with myself and I beat myself up over it every day. We all do things we regret. If I could take back all the hurtful things I did to others and myself during this time period, I would. My main point I guess is that in the months following this, I went through a lot because of this guy.

Eventually, I grew out of it. The only baggage I have still is some jealousy and trust issues, but that's it. I've got a boyfriend now that I love and would give the world to. I love him more than anything.

Since then, they have broken up after about a year of getting together, then gotten back together, then gotten engaged, then he's gone off to military basic. While he was in military basic, she made out with another guy and began sleeping with her boss. She waited until he flunked out of the Army and he came home to tell him that she was calling everything off and couldn't do it anymore. About a month ago, she finally fessed up to cheating on him, but not with who. He couldn't sell the ring. He hasn't gotten over her. He's torn up about it. He's even made suicide threats to her. He's been going through a very tough time in his life. No matter how angry and sad I was after the whole incident, I would have never wished something this bad on him or anybody for that matter. No one deserves that.

Well, our old church had their last ever night because they have been forced to close down. That night, I attended with my best friend and her boyfriend. I knew my ex would be there. It would be the first time I had seen him in over a year and I knew that he had been going through a very tough time in his life. I'm not going to lie, in the back of my mind I was hoping he would stay around long enough for my boyfriend to get off of work and to come by. Looking back, I kind of feel bad feeling like that. It wasn't long after my friend and I had started mingling that my ex approached us. He was extremely awkward and you could hear the nervousness in his voice. It was almost like he was choking on it, like his throat was knotted up. He couldn't stop staring at me. He didn't say much. When we walked away, he followed for a little bit like he wanted to hang out with us and then gave up. Shortly after that, he skipped out on the rest of the service. I felt like he might have wanted to say something. Ever since that night, I've thought about him every now and then. Kind of worried a little bit over him being okay. I have the gut feeling that he did want to say something to me that night. I kind of want to mend our friendship. I've thought about messaging on facebook and just being cool about it, with something like, "Friends?" And if he doesn't answer, it's cool. I understand, but I'm trying to figure out whether I should make that move or keep it to myself.

What would you guys do in this situation? Have any of you been in this situation before or a similar one? I'd love to hear about you guys' experiences. Anything is helpful.

tldr; I'm trying to decide whether or not to try and mend my friendship with an ex.

If he's still nervous talking to you then you shouldn't engage him. You can only be friends one all romantic feelings die.

Well, the thing is, I doubt he still has romantic feelings for me. I think him being nervous around me is because he knows that he hurt me and he probably thinks that I have a grudge against him. I think he acted so awkward because he thought that I might snap on him or maybe assumed that he wasn't welcome to be around us. All of which are far from the truth. Thank you for replying though, I really appreciate it.

Yeah, I've got a male friend who is always very anxious when around one of his exes since she sends very mixed signals. I just worry you might be doing that unconsciously. It really just hurts the guy, it's hard for them to be friends.

Uhm, no. As I said, I didn't even speak to him. >.>

i think you should give it a shot, honestly. i've been the person to be shit to someone else, along with being the person hurt: mending friendship is always something you should go after, depending on the emotional connection you had with him. from what you've said, he meant a whole lot to you, so attempting to befriend him seems like a good option because nothing can really go wrong - his life is in shambles, and yours seems pretty good. i think, by what you've said, that he wants to resume the friendship as well, thus the nervousness (perhaps of you hating his guts, still)

He did mean a lot and I think that's why I want to lend an ear for him to vent to during this tough time. I like helping people and I know that he doesn't deserve to be going through something like this alone. I mean, the worst thing that could happen is he would just not reply. xD And yes, I think that was why he was so nervous, because he got the feeling I hated him, which that would put me on edge with someone too. Thank you very much for your advice.(:

heh, you're welcome!

i think he'll reply; you should totally send him a message right now.

i hope all goes well for you, because befriending someone again that you had such a connection with is tremendously rewarding after you wade through all the old bullshit.

It took some courage, but I just messaged him. xD "Wanna be friends?"

: on that note, i think it'd be cool if we could become friends, since you seem like a kind-hearted person. ;w;

if i was in your shoes, it would've taken a lot of maturity to giddy up and do that.

;u; I would love to! xD Thank you so much for the help.