Prompted by my mother's claims that due to today being his 49th birthday, Russell Crowe is now definitely too old for little 18 year old me, I'd like your opinion, CC - what is too great an age difference in a relationship? Is there such a thing? And is an age difference better or worse when the couple are younger and older?

I'm not sure that you can say that an age difference is too big in a sweeping statement, because I think it all comes down to the individuals invovled and russell and i could totally make it work. I do, however, believe that age differences become more problematic as a couple becomes older. A friend of mine, the same age as I, is going out with a 37 year old. There's never really a problem there, they have the same interests and the same idea of a good time and all that sort of stuff. But flash forward, say, thirty years, when my friend would be 48 and his partner 67... that just seems a awful lot greater to me.

What are your thoughts, CC!?

Ah but 48 was totally fine to her. :P

Age matters less today than it used to, I believe. For one thing it's not an indicator of where a person is mentally or in life (at least past a certain point, kids don't really apply to this response). There's the whole 'mid life crisis' joke but really, you can and will come across many older adults that are still back in their twenties mentally. Aging is hard. Aging gracefully and accepting all the things that come with it, even harder. You also come across young people that are absolutely already beyond middle aged in 'expected' maturity and just the way they think. Interests aren't also necessarily pinned to a specific age group anymore. There's so much to do and know.

Personally I don't really think age is a big problem, even in the example of 48 and 67. Even if it's 25 and 67. Age no longer necessarily indicates status, health, career, etc. All things that were kind of keys to partner choice in the past. People are living longer, being more adventurous, constantly uprooting career choices.

I do agree it comes down to the individuals involved, and what their looking for, and what their expectations are. If you hit it off with someone twenty years your senior, or junior, and can live a happy life with that person, why not? Life has bumps in the road at any age. The world will criticize you regardless. The key is that you are in a healthy, supportive relationship, so that when something bad happens, you can get through it together. Honesty I think is key in any relationship. Be honest with who you are, your expectations, and where your plans are and if they change.

[edit] Spelling mistakes galore.

When I see a couple who are obviously very different in age, I always think what the younger person is going to do when the older person is dead and gone. I wouldn't want to fall in love with someone who is so much older than me and then be alone for years when they're gone. Although we never really know who's going to die when, I suppose the younger person could die first, but I'd rather cut out that one concern. Not that we can control who we fall in love with anyways, but if I had the choice, I'd want someone a few years younger or older, not anything more than 5 years older anyways. My parents are 5 years apart (dad older than mom) and they've never had a problem that I can see, but I think once it starts getting where a couple is more than 10 or 15 years apart, they just don't have as much in common anymore as a closer-aged couple would.

Like , the only thing I really think about when I see couples with a large age gap is the older person dying also. Maybe that's morbid, but it's what always comes to mind. p:

I don't really mind age differences though. And I have no room to talk, since I'm in the same position as you. I'm 18 and have mad crushes on Mark Sheppard, who is about to turn 49, and Hugh Laurie who is 53 or somewhere around there. haha. If the two people are happy, that's all that really matters.

as long as its legal i dont care how many years apart people are, do what makes you happy. i prefer dudes who are older than me (dudes who are younger than me would be like middle schoolers so...............................) but i wouldnt see myself in a long-lasting relationship with someone twice my age because of the whole death thing. plus if i was much younger than them and they were in their 60s i dont know if i could harbor the same attraction for them, as shallow as it seems? if we were closer in age i'd feel closer to them, you know.

ill date people my own age and leave the 20 year age difference stuff for fanfiction

im 21 and my bf is 27 he thinks its an issue because i'm going to go through a lot of changes between 20 and 25 or some junk like that being a psych major wasn't good to him in that regard lol. anyway i think for women, it can be good to have an older man in your life because from my experience we tend to be at about the same maturity level and for guys, some of them need a mature women to keep them in check its about preference

I think the end of the day that's it. It's their relationship, who's anyone else to pass judgement?! Also don't get me started on Mark Sheppard because he is the most gorgeous man alive and nfkadnfdajkfndakj.

Just leave me here to die.

As long as it's legal, woop-dee-doo.

I always wonder what people with major age differences have in common though. Other than sex, of course ;) lol. A 20 year old is mentally and emotionally at a very different stage than a 35 year old. A 30 year old is at a different stage than a 60 year old. Meh. My husband is three years older than me. Sometimes I feel the difference, sometimes it's not noticeable.

I went through a shitload of changes from 20-25. Of course, I became a mom at 20, and that makes you grow up super fast. Five years is a long time, that's all :)

nah i get that it happens, but i also know that i love him and i want to be with him and it's been 2 years now and i don't think it's going to change most of what he's doing or implying is projecting his own self esteem issues onto it, he thinks he's a loser and he thinks that i'll "realize" it someday or something when he just needs to realize that he's not really a loser at all lol

When my teacher who was 50 yrs older than me said that he'd fallen in love with me I'd say that the gap is pretty big. :/ (this really happened by the way)

From my group of friends the biggest age gap I've seen is 15 years which is.. barely doable in my fair opinion. I wouldn't go much further than a 15 year difference. The younger party may think they are 'mature' and grown up but in the end I think it's the older party who has the most influence in the case. I think they might abuse their authority as one's elder. (the younger party may confuse their admiration for their elder as love) Also, it's easier for an older person to fall in love with a young person, as far as you're concerned with looks. We all want to be young forever, right?

With large age gaps I am always skeptical on whether they are really a match made in heaven or if it's just the slight pedobearish behavior of the older party.

Either way. As long as everything is legal and going well I won't object, but I wouldn't date anyone who is much MUCH older than me (even though Johnny Depp keeps winking at me from that movie screen)

I'm in a relationship with a man who's 11 years older than me. I was 20 when we met, we've known each other for almost three years. From my own point of view, it's been really important to remain independent, and not cling to him and his life... what I mean is that I feel free to study, to live on my own, that kind of stuff that makes you grow mentally, before I even consider living my life with him. I know I was really naïve and inexperienced when I met him, but there's been so much room for me to grow that it's never been an issue. It's also important that we want the same things from life - no kids, no marriage, same kind of interests...

I don't really understand why anyone who's 20 would want to date someone who's 80, but then again I never understood even a 10 year age difference until I met my man. :P I've learned that anyone looking at a relationship from the outside really has no idea what's going on between the people in the relationship, so my view is that as long as it's legal, it's okay.

My mother will probably never get over Catherine Zeta-Jones dating Michael Douglas. XD

I think it's different for every couple, honestly. My boyfriend and I are on the same level but are 6 years apart. We have all the same interests and get along well. I'm 18 and he's 24 so right now the big problem is I'm in my sophomore year of college when he's about to graduate. It's a little awkward for us because we aren't sure what to do but once it passes I think we'll be alright. I know people that are 10 to 12 years apart and do just fine.

It does definitely depends on each couple. For example, I'm dating a girl 10 years older than me. I'm 18 and she's 28. She sort of grounds me, but I help her relax. We even each other out, I think.

Of course, there's some cases where it just simply doesn't work, whether their 2 years or 12 years apart. :C People are weird.

For me, age is something delicate. It depends on the two individuals with their maturity levels and how they get along. Chemistry for sure needs to be there as well. I've dated two men seven years older than me when I was 18 (now 19). One of the two looked his age, had a decent job, a nice car, his own place, went to college. He was very mature and acted somewhat his age. I was in really in love with him. Second guy: had a minimum wage job, looked 4 years younger than he really was, no car, smoked weed, no school, no place of his own, and was NOT smart with his money to the point where he would purchase tattoo's over taking his girlfriend on a date or buying her flowers or something. He also had a child that he never even met, ect. When it comes to younger guys however, anything less than a year (which is still too young for me), I can't do. The maturity levels are so distinct, As I am insanely mature for my age.

Too great of an age for me (just in my opinion), is 10 or 12 years minimum when the couple is in their teen's and twenties. But when the couple reaches twenties and thirties and beyond; not too bad :) It personally makes me feel creeped out if a younger guy is dating an woman 6 years older than him or more, no matter at what age the two may be at in their lives. But then again that's just me.