:c i'm a really, really sad charlie right now.

so longlonglong story short, i have cancer, right? brain cancer, and i have less than two years to live. i found this out a couple of months ago, and two weeks ago i finally managed to tell my boyfriend what was going on because i thought he deserved to know. well, shit, he ended up leaving me. apparently, he didn't want to have to go through suffering and grieving at the end when i would die (which i dunno if i will or won't, screw the doctors and their stupid 'deadlines') and he said he wouldn't be able to go through me passing away.

so he made me call his ex boyfriend adrian and ask him out for him, even though he knew perfectly well that i still wanted to be with him. he really didn't care, and it really tore me up and ended up making me cry. :/ lame, i know, but then after that he got all scared at me bawling or whatever, and he left. next week, he's going to get his things from my apartment and he's going back to adrian.

i really dunno what to do now, because we were planning to move in august to vancouver and live together. the apartment's been paid for, so...i mean, what do i have here? is my boyfriend right for leaving me? and he flat-out told me that he still loves me, but he can't bear being with me when it comes to the end. was i really right to let him go like that?

): rar, shit happens.

i'm really sorry you have to deal with a condition like brain cancer. i honestly wish you the absolute best in your future. and yeah, screw the doctors deadlines... people are able to overcome the stupidity of lethal numbers every single day. be strong!!

now... on to your shitty ex-boyfriend....

first, i think he had every reason to leave if he was incapable of dealing with it. it is much better for him to walk out now, than to leave you when it got really hairy, right? you need strong, positive people around you....and anyone that is honest enough with themselves can easily know that they are not dependable for emotional support, etc.

BUT.....

that was my opinion before i read that he was such a piece of shit to ask you to call his ex-bf and ask him out. what a complete... UGH! even overlooking the illness, it is completely insensitive and inappropriate behavior. i woulda told him to kiss my ass!

as for the apartment, is there a chance that you can afford to stay there without a roommate? if not, is there a chance of getting another roommate?

I'm so so so sorry to hear about your condition :(. Hugs I have lost many family members to cancer. I think perhaps he shouldn't have said he couldn't bear to be with you in the end. It's harder for you, and even though it would pain him, he should see past that and see how happy it would make you to be able to see him.

thanks for responding, shatzy, and taking a bit of your time to help me with my problemo. c:

i just...i dunno? i really do still love him, and it's tearing me in half because i know he still loves me too. it's just that there is another factor, in the end.

his sister died in a car accident earlier this year, and since then he's been spiraling down into a state of depression. at a certain point in march, it was even to the extent where i would be at work in Chocolaterie Stam and he would call me and beg me to come home because he would be terrified of being alone, and i would have to drop what i was doing to rush to our apartment and then just hold him. so i mean...i understand why he wouldn't want to have to deal with being so completely, utterly alone. if i went away and he didn't have anyone, who knows what he could do to himself?

:c and i pitched in just enough money with him to put the first couple of month's worth of rent down. i don't know anyone else who's willing to go with me, and i can't afford it by myself. but money is money, whatever - i just wish he would be with me again, you know?

i totally get where you are coming from -- however you are your own person and lord knows, looking around CC Relationships enough you'll see that so many people just need to learn to deal with themselves instead of having to babysit someone else's emotions all the time.

i think it is ok to put a lot of support on your partner... but i think his leaving is so unbelievably callous and selfish that there is really no excuse for it, and certainly i don't think i can overlook it as some personality quirk.

i know you love him... and i think that is ok. but seriously, what kind of person is it that gets handed information like that and has the audacity to ask you to get him a hook up??? maybe i am just from another generation, i dunno. i just don't get it.

i think you need to contact the landlord ASAP and see how you can salvage the contract. don't even get me started on it really... i watch WAY too much judge judy to feel like it can end well.

Right now you need support from people who can handle the situation. As shitty as it may feel, I think you'll find you're better off with him leaving if it's because he can't give you the support you need. It was a selfish thing for him to have done, and you don't need to surround yourself with people like that.

You've obviously made a lot of sacrifices for this boy, but it doesn't seem like he would do the same for you - how is that fair? A relationship takes two, and it doesn't seem like he was ready for the relationship you wanted. From the sounds of it, it was only a matter of time, with or without your condition. As someone above me said: it's better you found out now, rather than him bailing when it gets "really hairy".

Without wanting to sound cliche: I've been there before, I know how you're feeling, and I know you will move on. I'm not just talking out of my ass here, either: My very first love had cancer. He was undergoing chemotherapy and radiation treatments during the entirety of our relationship. I loved him very much, and watched him come close to death and recover so many times I lost count. When he went into remission, he left me and broke my heart. I never thought I would love again, and getting over him was the hardest thing I ever had to do.

But I was able to do it, and I know you will too. It's a matter of faith - don't give up on yourself. Be strong.

Sweedie -- forget him ! Im really sorry to hear about your illness, but having such a short time left, you should be out living life for you, and not having to concentrate on other people. Especially when they seem bent on making you miserabe. Have a good night out with your friends and forget all about anything that makes you unhappy, its not the time to think of that right now :] All the best for whatever happens x

awww Just forget him sweetheart your gonna make me cry. I have a girl her name is Crystal and she loves me even tho i have a condition not cancer but one day it will kill me. My heart has been messed up since the day I was born and I have been defying doctors odds by living to 21. So don't believe what the doctors say I was supposed to live to be 16 haha 5 years later.

But back to the bf he is insensitive sweetie making you do that is wrong. Your better off without him. Just find yourself a new guy one who will love you for who you are!

I'm so sorry about your condition. I truly hope you too can defy doctors. I would say forget him. You need people in your life that are going to love and support you, not bring you down like him. I wish you the best and you'll be in my thoughts!

Yeah, talk to the landlord. Also, Lol@ Judy. :P

He made you ask someone out for him? >:

Well, in his own special, complete and utter douche of a way, it's kinda sweet. Terribly sorry about your condition, but don't let the doctors get you down, I hat 'em anyway XD

But, do you think you could talk to him? Tell him how it would make you happy to see him again? As they say Slaughter is the bet medicine. Oh, wait, did I say slaughter? Haha, meant to say, "Laughter" Shifty eyes

And, just tell him how it would make your last moments so much better, if you knew he was with you, or had some great memories of your last days with him. (If he can't stand that, tell him he's being a douche about this, and he can't know how hard this is for /you/.)

And like everyone said, talk to the landlord and try to...Work things out. I hope I could help in some way. Just keep fighting.

While he didn't really go about it well, I think he had every right to leave you. He loves you, and if I had the choice of being with the one I love, only to have them die and leave me with the rest of my life, or ending it before I had to witness that in favor of being able to find someone with a longer life expectancy, I'm selfish enough to say I'd choose the latter. Considering he's dealt with death recently, I don't blame him for flipping out over the idea of being put in that situation again. It's hard to let a loved one go, and as much as we hate to admit it, most people go through a point where they'd rather they just not have known that person at all.

Still, it was pretty shitty of him to make you arrange another relationship for him. That, I condemn. But I wouldn't hold a grudge against him because he's afraid of the depression losing you, for whom his love would probably just continue to grow from that point until the time at which you died, would cause. His mind's stressed, his emotions are completely out of balance, and overall, he's been dealing with far too much tragedy to be considered a jerk for not wanting to force himself through more of it.

As for your life, I'm extremely sad to hear about your condition. I have been fortunaute enough to never lose a loved one to cancer, but it always hurts me to meet/hear of people who are expected to die from it. Try to take care of your body any way you can, and keep a strong will about it; don't let the breakup stress you too much. It'll only do more damage.

I'm sorry to hear about your condition. Stay strong, though I may not know you well, I am indefinitely sure you are, and that you just might beat the odds. c:

Your boyfriend was selfish to do that to you. He lost his sister earlier, and you were always there for him through the whole painful ordeal. You pitched in for him to help him stay above water and gave your time to just be there for him.

It's obvious he doesn't deserve you if he can just walk away from you like he did when you told him about your condition. If he doesn't realize how much strength that would take to tell him, then it's obvious he has no clue about how much you felt for him.

Forget about him, is all I can really say. It may be hard at first, but I know that there are better people out there who will be able to accept things as they are and love you more than he probably did.

Nobody wants to be alone in this world, but it's managing the strength to walk this world alone that truly means the most.

Everything will be alright if you believe it. ❤️

>:

In some ways, I can kind of understand why he would leave you like that. But what he doesn't seem to get is that whether you're together or not when and if you die, it's still going to hurt like hell for him.

But, shitty exes are shitty exes.

Hope all goes well for you...

Caner :( I really hope you live longer than two years. I had a friend who has cancer and they guessed two years and well it's been six and she is doing good... they said she could never work again and she has a job. Anything is possible.

Anyway as far as your boyfrined goes. In a simple way

FUCK HIM

That is the most horrible thing I could ever think of. You are going through a hard time and he leaves you? WTF. So yeah Its going to be soooo hard for him to go through all your dieing carp while you sit back and... uh die? Yeah he tottaly has the crappy end of the deal. how rude it that?

If he really /loved/ you he would want too spend as much time possible with you not leave you for another guy. So your obviously going to be going through a hard time, then he makes it even harder by leaving you and on top of it gets back with his ex?

I honstly think it's his way of saying that he loved you but was not /in love/ with you. That yeah its going too be hard for him having too possibly stay home with you every night takeing care of you, having too plan out everything for you and comfort you while you cry, or help you walk... help you get around, dress you possibly. That his life is going to be put on hold too help you when he wants to have fun a live a care free life.

yeah it would make since if he freaked at first. If he broke up with you and left, but in the end he would come back, and he will if he is actually in love with you. Hopefully he is just going through shock because he is in love with you, and he will come back and be with you. However is does not your ex is an ass hole.

I am not trying too sound rude I am sure he has been nice and sweet in the past and you guys had good times together whatever. If he leaves you like that try too forget about him and enjoy your last years together. I hope things work out. <3

BTW: vancouver where WA state or BC?

This story makes me so sad :(. There is this book, called "when I die". (idk if that's the exact title, but I read the dutch translated version, if you want me to look up the exact title, comment me and I will). It's about a girl who has cancer, and she makes a list of things she wants to do before she dies. She falls in love with the boy that lives next to her, and he falls in love with her. And he stays with her 'till the end. So no, your (now ex-)boyfriend is making a huuuge mistake here.

Idk how to put everything I want to say in (english) words... But I hope everything goes well for you <3.

And you really should read the book, it's so sad and perfectly written.

I'm really sorry :C Cancer is an awful bitch. If I was him, I'd stay with you.He's going to feel REALLY guilty making your life shit, right before you, uh... Die. BUT hopefully you won't! I think he should do everything he can to make you happy.