I just got asked 5 minutes ago to sing at my grandmother's funeral. This hit me pretty bad. I'm in a state of shock... like, I didn't even know she was passing away this soon. They said she has only a few days left from today, and I haven't been able to see her. My mom didn't tell me that people were visiting, or anything. I'm shocked...

She has never heard me sing, and has always wanted to. I always got discouraged because she talked about how she didn't like my type of music to my other grandma, and what not. I really wish I could sing for her, but I'm just... I don't know. -.- This is so depressing. :(

How should I cope with this...? What should I do?

First and foremost (((HUGE HUGS))) - any loss is heart breaking.

Second of all, I don't know what advice to offer but I know what you're going through. I gave a .. something.. at my father's funeral. I say 'something' because I don't exactly remember what I said.. I - like you - was pretty deep in shock and heavily drugged the days after the funeral. Most of that day is a blur for me. I just remember wanting to honor him in some way. My only advice is do what your heart leads you to do. Maybe you could get to her side before she passes and sing for her then. At least that way she could hear you just once. If you don't feel comfortable singing at the funeral maybe you could sing at the grave side service? Little less formal there. If you don't want to sing at all don't feel bad. Everyone deals with grief differently. I wish you so much peace of mind, comfort and love in the next few days.

Thanks so much. I wish I could have sang for her, but she passed away today. It's hard, but I'm trying to stay strong. I'm still processing that she's gone, and I'm never going to see her here again. If I don't sing at her funeral, I'll probably go with my family or grandmother to visit her grave. I want to give something of remembrance. If I was well, and able, I would sing at her funeral. I just don't think I can handle it... :/

Aww hun I am so so sorry!! Why don't you order some special flowers to be left at the grave site or placed on the casket? Its not much but it's a little something to let her know she's in your heart. Also, remember grief takes time. You'll never be 'over' it but eventually you'll learn how to deal better. Again, I wish you tons of peace of heart and love. :)

I had a similar state of shock happen a while ago to me. My great grandma passed away. I had actually been planning to go see her the day that she died - then I was woken up by the phone call telling me that she had passed away. (She was in a nursing home after a stroke, and had no memory of anyone, and I hadn't been able to go see her).

If you can't handle singing at her funeral, don't do it. You can honor her in another way.

I'm so sorry for your loss. I got hit hard when I lost my grandmother. I was out having a fun day and when I got home my mom told me she was gone. She was in the hospital for a few weeks, and was getting worse. I just didn't expect it to happen so soon. And It hit hard because I lived with her all my life, and then she's not there.

If you think you can't sing at her funeral don't force yourself. Maybe write or draw something in her honor. I drew something for my other grandmother when she died, and it was put in her casket when she was buried.