So due to overprotective parents, I only really have online friends, but I feel out with one of my best freind on another site about a month ago now, and he's not how he used to be. I feel he ignores me a lot, even though he claims not to, and he's less tolerant of my behaviour and bothering him that he used to be. I'm rather clingy because I have Aspergers you see.

So anyway, I started feeling disliking towards him, that I wanted to end our frienship, but I can't. He got me interested in something I'm obsessed with now, and wouldn't be if it wasn't for him. I got annoyed and got in trouble on the site and so I spent a week away from it, only to be missed by a load of people.

I wanted to leave the site again because it hurts me to see him the way he is now, but I couldn't because others would miss me. It seems the best thing I could think of to do was to block him so I didn't have to worry about seeing him say htings that aren't to me and not be convinced he's ignoring me, but that didn't work because I still knw he was there.

I think I feel the way I do about him because I'm lonely and he's been the one I've talked to most because we live in the same time zone. I recently staerted thinking that I wanted a boyfriend, someone to care for me who isn't my family, because he no longer satisfied me (He's too young for me to want as a boyfriend and we don't know each other in person) but it will be a while summer, about 2 months, before I go to college and can even try getting a boyfriend.

The is, my friend is not helping me at all like he used to. He's doing things he knows I don't like, like going off to play a certain game beginning with M that I hate because it reminds me of bad things, such as him not being able to be on the site and play the game at the same time due to slow computers.

And yesterday, I wanted to try and talk to him normally, but I went to have tea, and when I got back, he'd gone off to play tha (Insert insulting word here) M-word game, and didn ot come back. I even stayed up till 1AM just to make sure. I was so angry.

So I feel I want to end our friendship in spite of everything, but I just can't bring myself to do it and say "No, I'm not being your friend any more." I'd rather he did it, even if it does hurt me. I left him a message saying that if he doesnt' want to be my best friend any more he should just say. Because I can't trust him anymore and I feel like he's betrayed me and he claims to have dne nothing wrong, as if I'm to blame. Even when I've told him he's done stuff that's made me sad, he just ignored me.

So should I try to end it or not, because it's not getting any better.

I don't mean to be nasty but you kinda need to chill out over him. You've not met in person and he's not your boyfriend, just your friend and it's not fair to stop him playing a game that he wants to play or to demand that he talks to you for a large amount of time. I know if you have aspergers, you might not realise that you're being that clingy or you might not be able to stop yourself, but you should know that it's probably what is making him seem off with you and behave differently. He probably wants more freedom in what he can do on the internet or maybe just a bit of space.

Give him some space and time to himself, realise that even if he's your best friend, you can't stop him playing games that you don't like and things might get better between you after a while.

I've tried, but I can't help how I feel. I want him to understand, and maybe even give me a chance to say goodbye before he goes off and does it. Anyway, I wanted to end it because I don't know him in person and didn't want it to get too much. I'm scared I might be denying my true feelings here. I kniw it's his life and everything, I just feel that he's not helping me at all, and I want him to help me. I want his advice and stuff so I can be a better friend to him. And I want him to tell me what annoys him and what he doens't mind so I can be nicer to him.

It would definitely be fairer of him to actually tell you what you're doing wrong instead of just ignoring you.

If you're pretty much sure that you're done with the friendship and you're not getting anything out of it, you might as well end it. If you're not entirely sure, just try not talking to him for a while and see what happens, I think it'd do you both some good to have a bit of space, you might find yourself not wanting to cling to him as much.

I could do that. I mean, he's expected me to take in what I've done wrong instead of reminding me of it. I didn't take it in proerly because it hurt at the time.

I feel like he may not be able to bring himself to end it either. Like we're both stuck, in a way.

All that I have to say is probably going to sound horribly unsympathetic, but I have been that clingy person in a situation that sounds very similar to what you're describing. It was years ago but I still cringe when I remember my behaviour. At least you seem to have more self-awareness than I did.

Going by all your posts, I'm having difficulty pinpointing what exactly your [former?] friend has done wrong. Honestly, it sounds like you're the problem here. You're getting hurt and angry because he's failed to live up to your expectations, but your expectations sound like unreasonable ones; it seems you want him always to be on call as your emotional crutch, and tailor most of his internet time to suit your needs. You seem to view him as your 'best friend' more or less by default; nothing you've said gives any indication of the feeling being mutual.

I realise it's not easy but you really do need to just back off and leave him alone. I'd strongly advise against trying to either force a confrontation about where it went wrong, or make any gestures of pointedly ignoring him, such as blocking him on any sites you both frequent. Trying to do so smacks of bitterness/hurt pride, and a misguided attempt at retaliation that will hurt you more than him. Beyond standard pleasantries (saying hi when he logs in etc), I'd leave any attempts to initiate conversation to him - and if he doesn't try to talk to you further, doesn't that in itself tell you all that you really need to know?

Possibly you'll say "but I want closure!", in which case there are a couple of things to consider. First - will seeking 'closure' really make you happy, or benefit you in any way? What if he tells you things that only make you feel even more hurt/angry than you already are? What if your current state of not-talking becomes outright animosity, which spills over to all the other people you both talk to and makes your internet social life all-round awkward? Second - what about what he wants? Nearly all that you've written is all about what you want. You say you can't help how you feel - but you can help acting on it, when it's clearly making others uncomfortable.

I know as an Aspie figuring out others' behaviours doesn't come naturally, but try thinking more about what he wants - and note I say thinking about it, not badgering him to tell you about it. Because I'm going to hazard a fairly safe guess that the main thing he wants from you right now is to not be bogged down with a big load of emotional drama, including discussions about his/your feelings. It sounds like he's doing all he can to get away from that kind of conversation.

If you leave it be and stop putting so much pressure on him then maybe in time, when you've both had the chance to cool off, something of the friendship will be salvaged (though this is probably a long shot). Although in any case I think before that could happen you'd have to be prepared to significantly lower your expectations, and start seeing him as 'casual internet friend' rather than 'best friend'.

Apologies if I sound too harsh or judgemental; I am after all just a random person on the internet who after all knows nothing about your situation beyond what's in these three posts, filtered through my own obvious bias. ^_^ I hope that one way or another things between the two of you work themselves out without any more distress on either side.

I agree with Phlizz sadly, you seem to be trying to controlling his life. Sorry but you have no right to tell someone what they can and can't play, and if you've told him to stop playing it- that's probably why he's avoiding you because he doesn't want to be yelled at. That's all I've got... Chillax let him do his own thing and maybe he'll stop avoiding you? If he doesn't stop ignoring you even after you've given him his space then screw him, you can make new friends!! And if he's already ignoring you then it would be very easy to stop the friendship by just stop messaging him.

As I said, I tried blocking him, but it didn't erase him completely from the site, it just made me unable to see what he said, so I knew he was still there.

I know that I may have acted how I did because I noticed the things he used to do often and took advantage of them, wanted him to do them more because i was so used to them. Like saying goodbye to me all the time. He said it was a compulsive thing but he's getting over it, but I've been so attatched to the things he often did that I liked...I guess I should tell him that before trying to resist the urge to get him to talk to me.

One thing to remember is people change and him being younger he might be finding other things more interesting to do than stay on one site all day. as for what he introduced you to you'll always remember and be glad for it but people come and go in life so we have to take the good with the bad. Let him do what he will since you don't know him in RL and just try to be there when he needs a friend is the best advice I can say.

Otherwise if you want to let things go you can always keep your block function on and go about your own thing on the site and make other friends. You really aren't incapable of coping with it, just might take longer due to the bond you felt to him.

The thing is that if I let him have what he wants, it means I'll have to go without what I want, and if he gives me what I want, it might mean he goes without what he wants. So we can't win either way. I wish we could have both.

I must admit, I tried blocking him partly out of spite, but also to try and help me. It didn't work, I could still see him, just not what he was saying.

I'm making more friends now, but I'm worried bout when the Americans go back to school, so most of the time, it will be just us two online.

Also, I only really wanted to end it because I thought it had gotten too much, but I can't do it. I think he might be denying telling me he can't do it either.