Ok. So a few minutes ago I was talking to my girlfriend and she said she was wondering about yesterday because I was so quiet when I was around her and some of our friends. I told her there was just a lot of things going on in my head.

She told me she blamed herself because even when we were alone I wouldn't talk to her about what was wrong. And she even asked if I wanted to talk about it. I declined because I wanted to figure things out on my own before I got anything out in the open.

WELL...

I told her what was wrong before she asked that, even.

It's the whole fact that most people I know don't really know me. I'm only out to my family here and most of my good friends here. I'm afraid of what the rest of my family will say and what my old "friends" will say next week because I always teach at this summer program, but now it's like...I don't know.

I don't want to be able to answer any questions they might have about my love life (which hopefully they won't). But I'm still afraid of what their reactions might be.

And I told her this.

But she still said I never tell her what's wrong. I do tell her most of the time. But I replied with: 'It's not like you ever tell me what's wrong either.'

Every time before she would talk about how I didn't trust her enough to tell her what was wrong. I let her know the background info on what my life was like before so she could understand my problems now. She's the only one that understands me best...

And lately I've been struggling with the fact that she doesn't tell me what's wrong. She always just says 'there are other things going on in my life'. I always feel like she's shutting me out when I never did that to her. It frustrates me because I don't feel like she trusts me to be there for her.

When asked about it a little bit ago, she told me that I didn't know about her past so I couldn't understand. There is no written book about that.

So after I sent the message about how she never tells me what's wrong, she just replied 'whatever'.

I told her I didn't want to fight because I was tired and (don't read this part if you don't want to) I was PMSing. x___x

So for her sake and my sake I was going to get off before I lost my temper.

My friend recommended using the strategy of not telling her what's wrong any more if she won't tell me what's going on and at least try to let me understand.

Ugh. I do not want to fight with her. I'm avoiding her right now. But I have to see her in two hours.

What do I do...? Should I apologize? Should she? Is there even right or wrong here...? Dx

hika ~ (:

i'm sure she's just trying to protect you, and doesn't want to worry you. i couldn't see why else she'd be keeping quiet. |:

if you're seeing her in two hours... is it just the two of you? cause if it is, maybe you could try to talk it out a bit more then. if not... i'm not really sure ^^;

i don't think you should apologize. there might be stuff in your life you want to keep quiet and that's understandable. everyone has their secrets, that's just something to be expected and accepted.

i'm sorry i couldn't be of much help ^^; but i hope you guys can make-up really soooon ~

Thanks, Faded. Dx

Yea. That's what all my friends told me when asked about it. I suppose it's true that she doesn't want me to worry since that's what I do best. =P

It was our friend's birthday party (which rocked), and everyone had fun. Only I was a little queasy through it.

Thanks~