Hey everyone, I realize some of you have even worse problems than me so this may not be my place to sit and spout about my problems since I don't think they are as important as other people's issues. But, I seem to be having a lot of trouble lately. I don't have very many friends, I'm usually very independent, and I get shy around people...sometimes I even hate being around others. On the flip side (ironically) I suffer from depression caused by being so lonely all the time. I have only 2 people right now that I talk to some-what regularly, my bf and one friend. Other than that I'm left alone, and even when those two are busy, I start suffering again from being all by myself. None of them live close enough to me to see me on a daily basis...so that's why I get so emotional and break down at times. I don't tell anyone in my family how I feel, I don't want them knowing and think maybe something is wrong with me, nothing is, I just need to start "getting out more" so to speak. I really enjoy a good conversation and I'm very friendly to everyone I meet. I'd really love to make friends on Subeta, so I have more people to talk to and hang out with. Thanks for taking the time to read this. :)

Edit: Whoever just sent me the giftbox, thanks very much, that made my day :)

• Juju

I'm here if you need a friend! I was just saying I should make more friends, haha. But it does get better. You just have to put yourself out there sometimes.

I have the same issue, although I've always been more comfortable by myself, or with a significant other. I distanced myself from everyone in high school, when I became really depressed. I didn't get treated for depression until 2009. Things are better now, but I don't hang out with anyone except my girlfriend.

Getting out and meeting new people is so hard, but I recommend taking baby steps, make simple conversation with cashiers at the store, etc...until you get comfortable enough to open up. I like to meet people online, since they are easier to talk to and normally have similar interests as me. Feel free to add me as a friend if you wish, I love meeting new people! Keep your head up, you'll get better!

Hey dear

I have the same problem, im too depressed to go out when my friends want to, and i get depressed because i didnt go out, its just a viscious cycle (i live 3 hours from home where most of my friends are, but i do live with my bf currently and i have a few friends where i am now, though they cant hang out very often, maybe like 1 a month)

When it comes to subeta, ill make friends, and then everybody seems to poof, and then it will be months if not longer, and ill come back, and nobody is here anymore that i used to talk to

My bf lives too far away for me to see him, same with my friend. Today was horrible, I went out (for once) and I just got really depressed and I had to go into a bathroom in a store just to cry, I fight a really bad depression sometimes and I just can't seem to get over it. I don't want to result in medication because people will think something is really wrong with me, but it's just my thoughts getting me carried away really...oh well if I make friends then I'll cherish it, if not, guess it was for the best.

That is terrible, and here i am, having people right near me, but i dont even want to take apart in it. Ive been on medication off and on for over the past 10 years, right now im on pristiq and its just not cutting it, i honestly am truly beginning to believe that this is just me, not a chemical imbalance in my brain, but rather the structure of how my dna is made....

but i usually log on here every day, and i lead a very boring life so im always here to talk :)

Honestly it's my emotions and train of thought that trigger the depression and stress, but I haven't exactly had a "fun" life. Things were bad a year ago, and I'm still recovering from it now. I don't really know what to do anymore, I get headaches every night, nothing seems to keep me happy long enough to make the pain go away. :(

Have you thought of going to see a doctor and trying some medicine to help you cope with the things you are going through now, and then after a while seeing about slowly weaning off of it?

yeah I have, but I never tell anyone about how I feel so my own family doesn't even know I suffer from this. I hold everything in because I don't want others to think I'm weird or "mentally challenged" because not many people like being around someone who has emotional issues.

Well, believe it or not, i think that most people (americans anyways) are on some type of "mood-stabilizer" i hate calling them anti-depressants because not everybody takes them because they are depressed, some people have a quick temper etc...but i know LOTS of people that are on them, and i know that know a days people are like, oh something is wrong with you, here take a magic pill, but sometimes thats what you need, at least for this period of your life

how old are you if i may ask?

You shouldnt keep all of your feelings bottled up, i have the same problem and im not very good at speaking out loud what i feel, but when stuff is really bothering me i write letters, or if you would rather not tell them you could always keep a journal, that helps me get some of the stuff off my chest even though im not actually telling anybody

But honestly, i dont think anybody is going to think your weird or mentally challenged, its the norm these days (IMO)

JuJu, I waited 6 years before telling anyone or going to a doctor. I regret that now. I missed the "best years of my life" because I was so depressed. I didn't go to prom, didn't hang out with anyone during high school, lived at home during college. Never did extracurriculars, etc. Don't be embarrassed to take medicine, I recently started a second med to keep my brain chemical level normal. I'm pretty sure I'll be on pills for the rest of my life, but I'm happier than I've been in a long time. The medicine alone doesn't help, it just keeps you level and helps you strengthen yourself mentally. Depression isn't something to be ashamed of, many people suffer from it. We're all here for you.

I'm 20 years old, and I usually end up crying my eyes out when I tell someone about my problems when the bottle starts filling to the top. Some days it's not so bad, but other days I could lay in my room for the whole day and just hurt myself with thoughts I can't get out of my head. It's also from loneliness, I suffer badly from being alone too much.

Well, your at the age where you can take going to the doctors/etc without any of your parents invovlement, so thats something you need to decide if you want to tell or not

but IMO i think it would take a lot of weight off your chest if you laid it all out on the table, i couldnt imagine anybody who loved and cared for you would make fun or you, or run away from you because of your mental issues

I keep a lot of stuff bottled up, but then i end up losing it over something really stupid and everybody is like...woah... but my mom knows everything that is going on with me, as well does my bf, now people that arent very close to me only know some of it, but i mean, i think pretty much everybody knows ive got issues lol

have you tried to see if there is a group meeting of some sort near your area? maybe a church thing, or other people who are battling depression, or even a group of a hobby you like to do? that could allow you to meet more people and also have something in common that you could talk about

I live right across the road from a church, but I don't like how they operate things...it's all about money with them which is not what a church is suppose to be IMO. Not many groups I know of around here, and I don't like talking to people much on the flip side. Besides if I talk to someone face-to-face about it, the wrong thing could make me start crying and I may never stop and just sound ridiculous. I think I'm too far-gone to be helped sometimes...I just hate life quite a bit now.

Yeah i wouldnt advise on going to a place like that, they need to care about people, not money

i hate life too, i know how it feels, i want to escape reality all the time, if i could do drugs i would, but i cant because of my job, i a lot of my time i spend sleeping and dreaming

but your going to have to open up and let it all out in order to feel better

:(

I'm worried about you guys. I've been there and I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

Crying it out can really help. If you talk with someone who knows you or write your words down on a piece of paper and give it to them, it may make you feel better. I agree with Addy that holding feelings in is not good for you. I have a hard time conveying my thoughts in speech, but I found that writing my thoughts down on paper and giving it to someone to read really helps. I wish you well. Please find a way to let your feelings out, because your happiness can bring all the gold and light to the world, and you have the strength within you to let others know about your inner sorrow. May love find you in every aspect of your life, and may you find solace in the knowledge that we are with you in spirit, and that you don't have to face this alone! <3 <3

I can't say I have the same issue in regards to the depression resulting from loneliness, but I definitely feel you on the lack of people to talk to regularly. I'm alone a lot of the time too, and pretty much always online. If you want to talk, feel free to shoot me a message!

Ahaha, I think I'm in the same boat as you. Being lonely and a preference for seclusion aren't exclusive feelings though; there are a lot of people who feel the same way (myself included). If you'd like to talk, feel free to message me any time you like!

Oh, I sympathize SO much :emo: The crying, feeling isolated, I can relate to it all. I'm really sorry about what you're going through. Long story short, my boyfriend and I broke up at the end of April, and my social life sort of revolved around him, my flatmates are gone for the summer, and I spend a whole lot of my time alone. I've got depression too, so life kind of blows right now. All I'm saying is I get it, and I want things to get better for you! :(

I'm not saying it's a given that you need medication, of course. But even just taking the first step of talking to a doctor will at least clear up some of the question of 'what the hell is going on in my head.' And then you go from there. If you're in college, most offer counseling services that might be a good first step :) I have an appointment coming up soon and I'm so relieved that I'll be able to have someone to talk to about things. I too tend to boil over if I keep my emotions to myself for too long, so maybe having somebody on your side to hear you out will help you out, too.

As far as the social situation...I'm working on it too. My ex-boyfriend was always able to be alone without being 'lonely,' something I've never been able to master. If you're feeling down and your not quite comfortable putting yourself out there yet, learn to be comfortable spending time by yourself--maybe find a cafe around town and sit down with some coffee and some work to do, or maybe there's a park near your house you can hang out in with a book. I've been finding that it helps to just be out and about, even if I'm alone. The best part is that the more you're out, the more likely you are to meet people anyway :) it just takes some time.

I really hope things get a little easier :)