So last year around october I became depressed. And i blocked everyone else out even though I told myself I wasnt. I shut down and built up this wall that no one could hurt me in because it was just me in this stone sanctuary...i guess. It became my comfort zone and people did try to get me to open up but i would always change the subject to their problems and that would get them off topic. Well anyways, around april i started getting better. I started getting happier and I told myself I would never let myself do that again. The summer was dull and I was a little sad but I was getting better. I started high school this year and i dont know why but I got super shy. I kinda found my little sanctuary again and have been hiding in it. Im not depressed anymore. but the walls are still there and I want to be free from them. I really want to make other friends but I block them out. I really need help with this. i would really appreciate the advice :)

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-Can relate to this on a let of levels.-

I remember I hardly talked to anyone my sophomore year of high school because I had formed such a barrier around myself by that point... If I could go back and have a chat with my high school self, I'd tell her not to be so scared. That no one cared about any of the mistakes she thought she made or dumb things she thought she said. That as long as she remained nice to others and had an open ear, friends would find her.

I know it sounds cliche. But now, nearly seven years later (wow, has it been that long?), I'm amazed when I realize how quiet, scared, and guarded I was at that time. I'm still quite quiet, but I've come to be more confident in who I am. I'm not outspoken, but I will certainly speak up if I feel strongly about something.

And it turns out that's all anyone really wanted of me. I'm now far closer with the friends who ended up 'taking me under their wing' in high school when I had no friends; they were the first to instill some confidence in me and give credit to what I said when I talked. I had a much easier time making friends when I went to university because I spent all my time in our dorm lounge talking to everyone, baking, having 'coloring parties', etc.

I'm rambling. Basically, all I'm saying is to reach out (i.e., talk to people you sit next to in class, force yourself to participate in group discussions, consider joining a club of some sort) and be yourself (and don't worry so much about what others may or may not be thinking). Probably not the earth-moving advice you had hoped for, but it works. The walls will likely come down gradually -- but they will, eventually, come down.

Feel free to sMail me if you want to talk more.

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind."

• Dr Seuss