So a bit of background. I befriended a girl at work who is also friends with my bf and we all get along fairly decently. She came over a few times and got along with our roomie and friends. Well things end up being her cousin she was living with was being a total jerk after he flooded their apartment and refused to help pay damages done to the floor and apartment below leaving it all on her. So obviously she wanted away from that. We had a spare room and offer it to her only if she is willing to finish out the lease due up in the fall, otherwise we'd have let her crash here for a few days til she knew where else she may want to go live. Ends up she comes to live with us and we get her signed to the lease and all that lovely paperwork.

So why am /I/ so suddenly ungrateful? Apparently she wanted to deep clean the place today. Ok fine whatever clean what you want when you want. So she gets her mom over here and me and the BF help a bit in the living room then they kinda just went about cleaning their own way. Fine she wanted to do this and knew we are here to help if asked or move our own things that might be in the way of what they want to clean. Well after they get done she jumps on me about not thanking her mom for cleaning. WTF I'm still looking at what they cleaned and moved around and her mom is STILL AT OUR PLACE at this point. Like I /BARELY/ got done talking to her mom about what they did before she went out to smoke so I am checking it all out when she blindsided me with accusations of being ungrateful. Then also says it's crap we didn't help. We took care of our things and helped with throwing trash out after that there was nothing more we could do since most of the cleaning happened in her room and bathroom that we clearly don't use.

I also had a box of papers in the living room that the box was falling apart and the only idea I had was to go buy a shredder and sort the papers. Her mom suggested using a bag which I hadn't thought of so I told her thanks and got them bagged and out of the way. Again got accused of being ungrateful from the girl we let move in. She wanted to throw away all things "not needed" into the trash. Told her good luck with that since she isn't allowed to. She gave me a just watch me look and her mom told her it's against the law to throw away things that belong to people still living at any residence, most you can do is set it in their room or to the side.

1. It's not like her mom had left yet so there's still time to say thanks and what not for the help.
2. It was HER idea/ thing she wanted to do so we stayed out of the way, willing to help if asked which she never asked
3. Why she thought it's ok to throw away things she didn't like and don't belong to her is beyond me
4. After I told her to back off of me and that this was her idea/ show so it was up to her to ask for help if she had needed it she cried to her mom how mean we are

So am /I/ being ungrateful by taking care of my things and helping with some of the smaller things? By telling her mom thanks for the idea on using a bag for my papers? For telling her mom thanks for her time and use of a working vacuum cleaner before she left today? By staying out of the way so she could clean things she wanted to have cleaned up how she wanted/planned?

I personally don't think so. We also respect her room is hers and don't go in unless she is home or the cat got in there to get him out and then shut the door. I think we were being pretty nice letting her move in and finish out the lease when she desperately needed to move and we don't make any big sloppy messes or invade her space/ things. So I don't get how I was ungrateful today...

Does she not know what ungrateful means? I think it's pretty amazing you let her move in to finish her lease. If she wanted to do the deep clean, than that's on her. You offered her help and she didn't take it. If anything, she is the ungrateful one. Good luck with all that.

Apparently not, or waiting before jumping on someone's case. I mean seriously her mom was still here, hadn't left yet. It was almost like she expected me to kiss her ass and praise her mom to no end for the cleaning. I'm just gonna stay in my room til the dishwasher is done then put the dishes away and retreat back to my room... it's not like she leaves her room either but still I feel she jumped the gun WAY too quickly and expected some like worship or some such thing...

Yeah. A thank you for cleaning is nice, but it's not like you asked her to come over and help.

That maybe for the best, all though is sucks because it's your apartment. You shouldn't have to hide out in your room.

Nor did we ask it of the girl we are letting finish the lease with us to do this kind of cleaning. I mean if you want to take charge of whatever project it's up to you to ask for support/ help if you feel it's needed no matter if it's cleaning or making a birthday party or a get together for a friend... if it's YOUR thing to do then it's yours til the end

As far as being in my room it's where the good tv for gaming is and I can be all lazy in bed on my laptop :x

Yeah, I agree with everything you said. Hopefully the next few months go by quickly.

Me too. There's drama in my house at the moment, so I cleaned my desk off and put my laptop on it and I have a nice tv too. I've pretty much been locked in my room for the past week and I've been okay with it.

Yeah my man got me int o skyrim recently <3 that and fable 3 on his 360, I myself have my ps3 and then netflix. Then a laptop to play on with interwebs and such I think I'm set. We even have our own bath room and a mini fridge :x

But yeah she won't talk to anyone today either. Only time she said something is when we were taking a ex roomies bed out to him...

So you are completely set than. Sounds like it's awesome in your room.

And it sounds like she is really immature. At least this is only till the fall. I would tell her she needs to look for another place to live if she doesn't get her shit together.

yeah she acts more like a spoiled princess than anything else. it's rather bothersome way to live since she's in her mid 20's

what do you think?

Nice HA and about the whole situation, 1. You're not being ungrateful. it was HER idea to do the cleaning, it was HER idea to ask her mom over. Not like YOU said "hey can you deep clean for me? do you think your mom would help?" 2. If there's something she wanted to throw away but not belong to her, it's not her business. It's YOUR stuff you need to sort, NOT hers. 3. YOU'RE LETTING HER STAY THERE AFTER HER ROOMMATE WAS BEING A DICK. Hell, if anything SHE'S the ungrateful one,

I'm in my mid 20s too and it's time to grow up. I'm moving out soon, but it's to live in campus. I've been at a community college way too long and feel it's time I become an adult. Sounds like she needs to also.

God damn, I'd kick her out