There's this boy I gave my heart to. We were together for four months. And I honestly loved him and still do. We had talked about marriage and he's even opened up to about things he's never shared with anyone. He broke up with me two months ago, without a real clear reason. I think I could of handled it better if I got the exact reason but it was out of the blue. He broke up with me because he didn't feel the same about me anymore. Then the next day he said he will never love anyone as much as me and that he's scared of being in love. Along with he said he feels like he's making the biggest mistake of his life. I had told him the next day that I didnt know what he wants and he said he didnt know either. He agreed to talk on the phone to me and I told him I'd wait for him to figure it out and he said he didnt want me to wait for him because he doesn't want to break anymore promises. We agreed on being friends and talked occasionally then a month ago I messaged him and he ignored me.. I waited a week and said if you dont want to be friends just tell me and I'll leave you alone.. and no message was sent back from him. I'm confused, hurt. I could of sworn just yesterday I was feeling fine and now I feel horrible. If he ever cared for me, he hasn't shown any sign of regret. I guess that's killing me to think that he may of never cared for me, but then I reflect on how he would cry to me and for a man to do is hard. I know time will heal but I just miss him so much.

I understand how you're feeling. I went through a similar scenario. I learned to not give my heart out so easily, since most boys up to a certain age really are not serious about relationships and don't want to commit because they don't want to settle before they've had an opportunity to experience things. Boys cry too, they just generally do not cry in front of people, and they usually lie about it too. I do not know if his supposed feelings for you were real or not, but I do know that he is telling the truth when he says he doesn't know what he wants. Many people I know out of college still do not know what they are going to do for a job, let alone what they want in life.

I feel sorry that he hurt you in this way and it sucks, but don't hold it too him. This probably happens more often than you would think and his ignoring your messages is clear: he doesn't want to talk. He has either moved on or still trying to sort through his feelings, but either way, you have no control over his actions and I would just steer clear. I'm not saying you shouldn't be friends with him, but give him space and don't message him and do your own thing and rock it. If he comes to his senses and wants to still be friends, let him come to you. This situation still seems emotionally unstable, so I think the best thing for you is to completely move on. Most couples do not end up staying friends, and the ones that do are separated and do not talk for extended periods of time.

thank you so much for your advice. And I agree.. I havent messaged him over a month now. It's just I find it so hard to believe that he could fool me and let alone my mother about really being serious about me. It was really out of the blue. But I guess I won't ever have all the answers and I just have to accept it. It's just I would love some sign that he did care about me, and not feel like he's easily able to move on.

I hear ya. Mine was a year and a half relationship, and for the first 3 months, I took it as a fling before college so I was ready to break up once we graduated HS, He begged me to stay with me yadah yadah.. So I thought he really meant it. As time passed, I definitely took the relationship more serious, but by that time, I guess he was done with it. Be glad your ex was upfront with you, mine cheated on me to get me to break up with him, and when I didn't, he just left. I know he was depressed and going through some family stuff, but I never got a real explanation. Funny thing is, he came back to me 6 months later (I'm assuming feeling lonely) after he slept with several girls and partied all night and day with alcohol and pot. He never did any of that before. I wanted to be friends with him after the break up since he had been my best friend, but now he was just a jerk and slob, so no thank you.

yeah mine was in college too at 22. And yeah I wasnt too crazy about him at first then I fell in love with him and I mean he literally was crazy about me, always wanted to be with me and did things for me and tried to help in every way he could. His parents didnt like me, although they never met me and didnt want him to date anyone (they have a lot of money and give his inheritance every 7 months.. wouldnt surprise me if they told him he couldnt have it unless broken up with me).. And yeah he was very emotionally unstable due to PTSD from being in the army and took anxiety medicine and stressed over a lot of little things. It's one of those relationships that you don't regret and you know that you treated them with respect and I was always honest with him and there for him.. I just dont see how he can never turn back around when I honestly was good to him. And that's crazy I'm sorry you got cheated on :( And you go girl! I don't think I could be friends with my ex if he had cheated on me.

thanks. I guess thats why most people try to find partners who are not so broken. I wish I had known that beforehand hahaa

there's some logic into that saying.. I'm finding it to be even more true. I guess a stable relationship = two stable people.

I understand you completely. I would just try to move on as I am trying. Me and my boyfriend, lets just call him Wes, we were on and off about things for awhile and then we got back together and that time I swore it was going to last. He would come over. We would talk and hangout all the time. Obviously, I'm not as old as you but I still have feelings. I became so attached to Wes. I told him everything and he told me everything. Then, one day he just stopped talking to me. He wouldn't answer my messages and I didn't want to blow up his phone and seem like some type of creep. But, he didn't talk to me for about five days. One night he just texted me and I asked him why he wasn't talking to me and he freaked out. We kept arguing for days. I tried to reason with him but he seemed like he could care less about me. After school one day he told me that it's over.

That's not it, his bestfriend is my old old old exboyfriend. These kids made my life miserable. They told me how pathetic and ungrateful I was. It crushed me just to know that these two guys I used to love hate everything about me. Wes' mom and I were very close. She called me one night that they were freaking out on me as I was bawling my eyes out. She told me that Wes still cares about me a lot. He just has a horrible way of showing it. But, they kept going and going. I became suicidal and depressed. The only thing that kept me going was my best friend.

I don't know why I care about Wes so much. He's perfect to me and he said I was to him also. I don't see how this could all happen. Last night I had a dream that Wes still cared about me, then I woke up and realized he could care less. I just want someone to explain to me what I am doing wrong. I apologized to him but he doesn't care.