So I know I don't really post about my personal problem here on Subeta, but I wanted to get a general opinion of this whole situation that I have found myself in. It's kind of a messy and long, but those who have read it, I thank you for it. :)

I met this guy while at work about a year ago. I told myself I would not get into a workplace relationship because if it went bad, it could really hurt me, and my career, but I decided since we do work together, but not in the same company, it would be okay. So he asked me out after a few dates and we started exclusively dating.

Now starting about 2 months ago, we would get into some arguments, nothing fifty-shades of greyish but close, and things were starting to become apparent to me that things were not going to work out between. Different preferences, and different attitudes, but nothing over the top, and no nasty fighting.

Not too longer after this realization, I got sick with severe food poisoning, and was really, really, violently ill. A few nights before we had gotten into an argument and I didn't call him both because I was mad at him, and because I was too sick. Now at this time, I was really busy too (both of us were) and so it wasn't until about 2 weeks later that I called him..and he was like yeah so I'm sorry but I don't want to feel like you're being misused, but it's just not working out between the two of us, I'm srry but we can just be friends...me being who I am, and always wanting the last word, simply responded, oh that's okay because that saves me the trouble from me having to break up with you...again I felt like things were not working out so I was kinda like meh...

Like I said I was busy, because not too long after I had to go bring my mom in for surgery (about 6 hours away) and then I had to IST for work for almost 2 weeks..and during this time I just had time to ponder and re-think, like normal, if I was overreacting to him, and if we could have worked something out, so when I got back I called to see why he broke up with me, thinking it was our arguements, when he told me.

He had gotten back together with his ex.

I was honestly really surprised because he never talked much about her, and was really thinking it was me and our fights, but as I had been in a relationship before where a guy used me to get his ex back, I didn't want to be reminded of this one, so I was like yeahhh well it does happen, I know because I got back with my ex while in IST, and hope you have fun taking your gf to the prom . (I know I'm horrible, I used to date a Turkish guy for a while before him, but never hooked back up with him while in IST and the prom comment was because she 18 and he is in his mid-twenties, but I'm not really that nasty irl) Needless he was surprised and wasn't too happy with with my comments, but wanting to push him away, I thought they would do it.

Nope. not in the slightest.

After my phone call he would still call me and still text me. And while at work he would come and bug me if he knew I was working. It never amounts to ANYTHING work related and it's always some small chit chat. I mean I don't mind talking about non-work related things at work, but when they don't stay at a professional level, it bothers me, especially from an ex who still flirts with me. I mean he now has a GF (who he also refers to as his one and only) so why does he continue to flirt with me and tell me how gorgeous I am and etc? If he sees me at the other side of the terminal, he'll call out HEY and wave to me or some other shit like that. I wore a different part of my uniform once, one that I never wear, and he saw me and looked me down and was like new uniform? and I'm like no...everything else is at the dry cleaners...and he's like well I really like it and I think it looks really nice on you and you should wear it more often! and I'm like...I HATE THIS UNIFORM (which I do because the material is itchy and fuck)

About 2 weeks ago I went to Italy for work and from the time I went through customs and immigration until I picked up my bag he was right next to me bothering me about my trip, wanting to know all the details, what I did, who I went with, and stuff...for like 2 hours..and all I could think of, you need to stop bothering me and go take care of YOUR passengers.

My person question is: WHY DOES HE CONTINUE TO BOTHER ME WHEN I HAVE TOLD HIM I AM NOT INTERESTED? I understand by some of the examples I have given, it may look like he only is interested in what I am doing, but believe me it's more than that. (ie- asking me out for drinks after work) Also, it may make me sound like a bitch, but I'm really not interested in guys who are still not over their exes, it just isn't fair to either of the girls who are caught in that..like I was in before) But if people can give me insight where I am blinded, please please do, and thank you for reading my wall of text :)

...maybe he likes you as a person and wants to remain friends with you?

Could you possibly just talk things out with him?

Keeping your thoughts to yourself won't change anything. He can't read your mind. Just find a time where you two can phone call each other or talk in person, and just talk. Let him know that you're honestly not interested in him anymore. Let him stand up for himself, too. Like said, maybe he just wants to remain friends? Some of the things that he's doing may be a little overboard, but you can simply just let him know.

I dunno, I would just get his side of the story before you jump to conclusions, in my opinion.

It's possible that even though he got back with his ex, he's still not over you and/or he misses spending time with you. He may be over compensating as to not make working together awkward. Personally, if you really aren't interested in him anymore, keep resisting his advances by just ignoring him. If you see him, walk away or look away from his direction. Try not to engage in conversations with him, and if he says something that requires a response, keep it short and simple (ex. say "that's nice" or "good for you"). And if that doesn't work, I'd think about looking him straight in the eyes and tell him to back off. Give clear, concise reasons as to why you don't want to hang out with him, be his friend or what have you. If he wants to remain friends with you, being up your ass about your trip and flirting with you is not sending that message.

I disagree with , although he is being friendly, I think he's crossing the friendship line by asking you out for drinks and going out of his way to compliment your appearance given the fact that you two used to date.

I think at this point you need to have a chat with him- tell him how you feel and how you don't appreciate him flirting with you any more. It's fine that he wants to get along (it would definitely make work a lot easier!) but the compliments and invites to go out are misleading. It seems like giving him hints and telling him off only encourages him to work harder, so just be blunt and more firm with him if possible. The fact that he jumped back into a relatonship with his ex could be a sign that he's not over you and he's just using her to 'fill the gap' so to speak while he tries to mend things with you... which is not fair at all obviously.

I have talked things out..and he just doesn't get it. I have told him directly that its over, he made his choice, and Idont bother with guys who clearly still are interested in their exes, and to not bother me at work unless its work related shit...

I thought it was the same thing too, that something happened between them due to the age difference. Like Isaid he is my age and in his mid20s and his gf is 18..which when you get older isn't that big but right now it..plus we had arguements earlier about various things and it became obvious that Ihad more experience in things and life in general.. like traveling and seeing things and he just can't due to his pspt and being a greencard holder...and he just ran back to someone who was also inexperienced so his ego doesn't get crushed....

And then Ithought that maybe the only reason why he was acting so possessive is because his coworkers like me. When we first started dating I asked why and he said his coworkers were talking about this really cute girl who worked there and then was started dating...we kept quiet about it because of how rumors come and go like wildfire here. So Ithink part of it had to do with that since his coworkers were too shy to approach me nor was Iattracted to them.

Anyways sorry about the late response Ifinally just got power back from Sandy and I'm on my phone so sorry about the grammar issues. However, I now have a new job where Idont see him at all so Iguess ill never know 100% but thanks for all the replies

tell it it to him how it is. don't make childish snide remarks, especially if tyhey arent even true,