So my boyfriend saw a friend of mine at a party. I jokingly asked the friend "Oh lol was he super schwasted" and she said "No, but I saw him smoking a cigarette" and I was like wuhhh

He's been super super SUPER against smoking since I've known him. I absolutely hate smoking. I find it really stupid for one thing and it's just... bad. He also use to be pretty against drinking too but has started drinking which I was fine with. But smoking? I just.. no. There's a few scenarios this could be...

1. He is a smoker now and just hasn't told me, which is really bad since we're.. dating.. and he should tell me these things.. lol
2. It was a joint and he now smokes pot regularily which actually doesn't piss me off as bad but also is another thing he should have told me
3. Could have just been a one time thing, maybe he was being goofy with his friends (in some videos he makes he smokes cigarettes to look like a COOL ASSHOLE and stuff so it wouldn't surprise me) or maybe it was a joint and it was his first time smoking one in which case I'm also not pissed since it was just last night and I don't expect him to just instantly text me like OMG SO I JUST DID THIS HOPE U APPROVE GIRL!!!

But anyway. How should I confront him? Don't tell me not to because I'm going to as soon as he wakes up or calls me today. Should I just say "Hey, so my friend saw you at that party and said you were smoking something..." and let him explain? I know he would't lie to me if I ask him regardless of which scenario it is. If he's smoking pot then.. fine, I'm pissed he didn't tell me about it but it's not a huge deal. If he's smoking cigarettes (regularily) that's totally not fine and I will be really hurt/pissed/etc.

Anyway. How do you recommend I approach this situation? I definitely would ask him about it over the phone or skype. Asking over chat or text just seems like a bad idea.

first, how long have you been together? it's possible he's just been addicted since beforehand and doesn't want to tell you since he knows how against it you are. but chances are (if you see him quite often) you'd have smelled it by now. if it was weed then he was probably just really drunk and passed out before he got a chance to tell you. also, smoking cigarettes while drunk is just kind of natural. even if you're super against it, alcohol does rid you of any inhibitions and they make you like 10x drunker. when offered if you're "super schwasted" it's hard to deny. or he could be keeping it from you without excuse which sucks. just ask him flat out what it was, no harm no foul. there isn't much else to it. be understanding. for some people smoking really grabs you by the balls. unless he's just a dick about it. but don't worry too much, he won't get cancer from one smoke, let's just hope it isn't an ongoing thing since you're against it.

Oh, we've been dating nearly 3 years. He definitely did not smoke before. He's far more against it than I am and would go on rants about it to me sometimes and I'd be like uhh ;3; The thing is, he wasn't drinking at the party at all (he had gotten super super super drunk a few days ago and has been wanting to slow down, my friend also said she didn't see him drinking anything and was there the whole night)

Ah alright thanks. I figured I should just ask him since it really isn't a HUGE deal.. just kind of something I should be told about at some point, you know? He woke up and is gonna call me on skype in a bit once he's done showering and getting dressed and doesn't seem freaked out at all.. so maybe it's really not a big thing and was just sort of a misunderstanding. WE SHALL SEE!

you've been together for a while, i'm sure it'll be fine. :) good luck. and hey, hopefully it's just weed, that can be a real bonding experience. ;)