Pet profile
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Hey guysss, so I'm gonna request help one more time because this is on my last nerve. Zell has gotten his blonde butt kicked from spotlight again and I have absolutely no idea why. (This is at least 5 or more times now.) I'm starting to question why I'm even doing spotlight anymore because it causes almost as many headaches as the lag and errors on here.
If anyone has any advice or spots anything I could have possibly missed, please let me know.;; ❤
I'm so sorry you're having such trouble with him! As far as I can tell, his profile and everything look fantastic, and I love the voice you have for him. I am noticing some small grammar/spelling errors here and there, so I'll do my best to point them out for you real quick, but they're pretty picky things. Still, I hope that's it because he looks great to me!
edits
"Most known for being spirited, energetic, loud, and over confident."
overconfident
"Aside fighting, of course... Hotdogs!" Besides fighting or Aside from fighting, of course: Hotdogs! (also, watch your spelling of "hotdogs" throughout; it can be spelled as one word, or two words, or with a dash, but pick one and use it consistently throughout the entire thing. In the next sentence, you have it spelled as two words even though in this sentence it's spelled as one!)
"I'm a lone wolf today; the better man, Zing!~ " (I'm not entirely sure what this is trying to say, for some reason it's coming across as confusing. Maybe: "I'm a lone wolf today; all the better, man. Zing!" That way the comma doesn't distract from the sound effect and hopefully just the small addition of the word "all" still retains his voice, but that's up to you!)
" I think this is what they call hyperventilating." ("Hyperventilating" is a verb, not an adjective, so it could be: "I think I am what they call 'hyperventilating'." Or you can change the word to a different one, like "I think this is what they call exhilirating/titillating/intoxicating/palpitating/whatever!" Thesaurus.com is my favorite for stuff like this! lol)
"I'm half way down the hall when an arm shoots out and wraps around my neck choking me and wrapping me around them." I'm halfway down the hall when an arm shoots out and wraps around my neck, choking me and wrapping me around them.
" "Well, well, well... Hello there, Chicken-Wuss. I've heard you've been causing a bit of a ruckas today speeding down halls, shoving people from your way, ignoring your duties as SeeD" " "Well, well, well...Hello there, Chicken-Wuss. I've heard you've been causing a bit of a ruckus today, speeding down halls, shoving people from your way, ignoring your duties as SeeD."
"I try to speak but I can barely breathe, this asshole is going to cause me to miss my once in a life time chance! I can feel myself being dragged away, I slowly watch the cafe vanish from view." I try to speak but I can barely breathe; this asshole is going to cause me to miss my once-in-a-lifetime chance! I can feel myself being dragged away. I slowly watch the cafe vanish from view.
"Seifer laughs and says "Maybe you'll catch up on your work and keep rules in mind next time, this way, you don't need to miss your pathetic obsession. Better luck next time, Chicken-Wuss!" Him and his posse cackles. Those bastards, next time, next time my loves..." Seifer laughs and says, "Maybe you'll catch up on your work and keep rules in mind next time; this way, you don't need to miss your pathetic obsession. Better luck next time, Chicken-Wuss!" He and his posse cackle. (new paragraph)Those bastards. Next time, next time my loves...
One last thing: check your tenses. Go back and reread the whole thing and decide whether you want it told from the point of view of him looking back on it, so everything should be past tense, or if he's recalling it as if it's happening now and everything should be in present tense.
Let me know if some of this doesn't make sense or I can help clarify!
Thanks bb ;~; <3 I'd hope I'm not being nitpicked on grammar, but I appreciate it seriously. I'm getting so frustrated on this. I've been trying to get him perma-in for a long as hell time now. I'll check back tomorrow after work. ILY4EVA;; (And thanks a bunch for the complimentsss! Dublin did a super kickass job on his profile. i hart hur))
When I look at it, the last couple of letters in each line of text are cut off, or running underneath the box. I play on an iPad, though, so things sometimes look wonky just for me. Have some other people check that in other browsers on real computers. I didn't read the story, but nothing else jumped out at me. Good luck!
Holiday Event Links
| [box=#d2918c][/box] | [box=#957dad][/box] |
| [box=#FEC8D8][/box] | [box=#E0BBE4][/box] |
| [box=#d5d6ea][/box] |
That is just so frustrating, I think we've all been there! WIshing you lots of luck, hope this helps! Just finished up the edits, let me know if you need me to explain something, I sometimes edit strangely! lol Such a fun story though. <3
, For me the profile scrolls alot, down into blank space. I've had pets kicked for that before.
THANKSGUIEZ <3 I don't think it was doing that before and it doesn't show on my screen that it's scrolling. I don't get it qq but Dub is fixing it for me and she sees it, thanks a ton for the help. <3
THANK YOU. <3 Once I'm done eating, I'm gonna add the edits you did. I really appreciate it. ;~; I had a lot of fun writing in his personality tbh. I think that's why I enjoy fandoms pets.
if you can never tell, resize your window so it's small and if the profile doesn't adjust to your window as it should... well.
u spek da comp spek. I know the monitor I use now is bigger than the one I had before, I wasn't sure if that fucked with shit on here or what. thanks for the tip bb <3 I need to remember this QQ
other than the scrolling issue the only thing I see that MIGHT be a problem (Or maybe it is just my eyes!0 is that the black font of your story is a bit hard to read. A light color would be better maybe. But I think it is a great profile!
I've tried changing the colors quite a few times and black to me seemed like the easiest to read. v_v I can try changing it back to white maybe that'll be easier to read. I removed the shadow that was on it before since although I liked the look, many found it hard to read as well. :[ Thank you! I really appreciate your input, too. n-nv
You're very welcome! I like fandom pets too, right now I just have two and only one is complete, but I had a few others I've played with too, but I decided to get rid of them later just because I needed space and wanted to try to do more of my own thing and leave the fandom stuff for personal fun. They really are terrific fun though!
For the record, I like the black text, I had no problems with it and I have some vision loss, specifically in regards to contrast, so I think you're okay there. Red is a tricky background color but the black does show well enough.
OKAY. I think I fixed up everything and changed a few small things to make more sense. Thanks again for looking over the story and pointing that stuff out for me sob ;~; <3 I have an addiction to them fff I have an easier time writing for the good guys, though. I need to dig for ideas on Kuja since I really wanna work on him I'm just unsure on what I wanna do yet QQ I can totally understand that, though. I have a few oc ideas I wanna do, but no room...MORE SLAWTZ PLX.
Thanks! I have tried SO many different colors for his story omfg but i love the profile as is and don't wanna change the colors since they suit him SO damn well.