HOKAY. I'm going to try and describe my situation as best I can without writing a novel to you all. Please bear with me. <3

About a year ago I met a boy through one of the many video games that I play (WoW, to be precise). At first everything with him seemed peachy and fine and nothing appeared to be amiss. We chatted almost every day, roleplayed our characters and in general I believed we had a normal, platonic best friend relationship.

A few months down the track he admitted he had feelings for me, to which I could not return because, A) I had a boyfriend. B) Even if I didn't, the idea of doing another distance relationship with an even BIGGER gap (he was in America, where I live in Australia) just felt overwhelming and C) I honestly did not have ANY romantic feelings towards him. The only “romance” I showed was through my character, of which I have quite an established fourth wall for that reason.

I didn't want to tell many people for fear of their opinion and backlash against my friend, but despite my attempts people found out anyway.

One of them happened to be my other best friend at the time. She was (and still is) good friends with a guy I honestly cannot stand and, once he found out, tried to convince my boyfriend that I was a whore and a slut and he could do better than me. He kicked me from the guild where all my friends were (since he was lead) and said a bunch of nasty things about me. When I tried to confront him about it, he was quite nasty and accused me of basically not being able to keep my legs closed and that I didn't deserve my boyfriend despite rejecting the feelings of my friend. My best friend at the time did not say a single word to me, and I got told she was giving me space to deal with my issues and I could come to her “for her opinion” when I was ready.

This put a huge strain on our friendship, as I later found out she was also saying horrid things about me such as how ever since I lost my virginity, I couldn't keep it in my pants. (How this applies when I'm online, I'm not sure. I suspect she thought I was doing erotic roleplay at the time of which I wasn't.) When I tried to talk to her, she was very off the cuff and didn't seem interested in much I had to say. Despite my attempts to repair our rift, she would not talk to me unless I instigated and if I tried to bring up what happened she would either say that nothing was wrong or use other means to get me to shut up.

Things with the best friend that liked me worsened. He basically began being possessive and bullying and chucked a tantrum when I wanted to spend time with my boyfriend. In the end, it was him who actually instigated the end of our friendship after I had to get my boyfriend to tell him to leave me alone because I was having a rough day and his messages of: “I think we should put our friendship on a break.” was not helping. Needless to say I was relieved that it ended because of the stress it was putting me in. A lot more nasty things were said (from his end, not mine) and I have refused to really speak to him since then. A lot of people who once knew him and know of my situation actually keep an eye out in case he gets on, because they'll tell him to leave me alone if he tries anything.

Of course, this didn't stop my other best friend from not talking to me. Though at this point even the word “friend” was a long stretch.

Fast forward a couple of months later and I'm talking to another of my good friends. He's had a crush on this one girl in the game for a couple of years now, and their relationship has been weird at best. They attempt to try and make some kind of couple, but later I come to find that she actually likes my old best friend despite knowing his record with me and having her own issues that made her cut him off at one point. Because of this and things he's said and done to me/done to my other friend, he was unhappy that she still was talking to him, but didn't openly try to stop her. However, this put a huge strain on their friendship to the point that they had a huge fight and she blocked him from everything. They haven't talked since.

This didn't stop my old best friend from sending messages to the other going: “Haha, Karma's a bitch” and to my boyfriend: “if I can do this with ____, I can just as easily get Cass.” (me)

I wanted to say something to him – I really did – but both my boyfriend and my other friend basically convinced me it wasn't worth it.

HOWEVER, the point of my story is that I still have my female best friend and the girlfriend of my creepy best friend added in game and on sites like Facebook. I'm wanting to delete them, but I'm conflicted as to how to go about it.

I want to say something to my female best friend about how she was never there and her lack of talking for the past few months is the reason I'm getting rid of her, but at the same time I don't want to open another can of worms. I'm also worried that me deleting her will also start shit because she may get her husband or someone else to make me out like I am the bad guy because I never “tried to repair” the friendship.

For the girlfriend of my creepy best friend I want to delete her because, honestly, having her there makes me feel really unsafe. I don't know if he asks her about what I'm up too or shit like that, but it just bugs me that she's added and can see what I post. My creepy best friend has another of my good friends added, but she's kept right out the situation and promised that she would basically tell him to get lost if he ever tried asking her for information. I just don't like that he COULD have access to me, since I've blocked him on almost all other mediums – but it's not so much her fault that she's dating him. (if that makes sense?)

Basically I'm really lost as to what to do because I want to turn over a new leaf, but at the same time I'm scared that it's just going to make everything worse. |: I have talked to my boyfriend about it, but I wanted some third party opinions before I really make my decision.

Help?

Well, you asked for opinions and I just have one: There is no such thing as friendship online.

Where as I disagree with you, that doesn't really help my situation either way. :/

If my opinion doesn't help you, then why dont you try to talk with your virtual friends? The only way you can solve a problem is talking to people who created it.

I'm sorry but I believe that friendship can be online too.

I had 2 pretty "close" friends back in high school.We were almost always stuck together,sharing almost everything. My female friend was always backstabbing me and used me a lot of time.My male friend played with me,and did the same. I was patient,tried to be gentle,understanding but there is a time where you need to define your limit. How do you feel?Does it makes you sad?Are you afraid or tired?It's a bad circle and you shouldn't stay in it if you suffer like this.Per example; I stopped talking to them right after a huge argument where I just let everything out.3 years passed and I don't miss them.

Personally, this is why I find places like facebook a bit too overwhelming. I deleted my facebook last year over drama and just not wanting to see or talk to people in which the drama was involved with. Also! I believe in friendship online, because I've had some wonderful friends come out of it, so I'm sorry for everything that happened. (Also, in WoW, Horde or Alliance? xD)

My advice? If you're trying to start over a new leaf, just go ahead and delete them. You've moved on. If they start shit, they're just stupid and want drama.

Well, do you regularly talk to them on Facebook? I find it's easier to delete people when relationships fizzle out. Also, unless they pay a lot of attention to you they shouldn't even notice. I agree with the above post. I'd delete them and move on.

Okay, friends can definitely be made online, first off. I have many. But to your situation. It sounds like you're over their petty drama, and I feel if I was in your situation i wouldn't think twice about it causing "an uproar" of any sort because of their immaturity. I think if you're willing to walk away from them and their toxicity, that any backlash that comes from it you could probably easily brush off your shoulder. If you ignore it if it happens, it will likely go away quickly. I think that the best decision woudl be to just delete them and move on; sending messages to them might cause more problems than just simply deleting them because old tensions can get rhiled and the situation could just get worse.

I agree that online friendships can certainly be as 'real' as any other friendships. I think it's in your best interests to delete ALL of them and just block them straight afterwards. Sending a message and THEN blocking them without giving them a chance to respond won't help your situation-- because even if they do read your message, what's the point if you don't plan on talking to them again anyway? I would just ditch sending them a message and go straight for blocking/deleting.

Having people on Facebook means they can see a LOT of your personal pictures and conversations and it makes sense that you're not comfortable with them having access to all of that. It sounds like for your health and the health of your relationship, you and your boyfriend are better off without them all.

lol friends can totally be made online jfc my best friends are all online and I totally wanna ping them here, but derailing threads and whatnot.

ANYWAYS You wrote a lot of things, but I think the main thing is you just want to delete people right?
DELETE THEM Seriously, stop stressing about it, and do it. If you get drama later tell them to fuck off, I mean it's not going to destroy your family or something you know? I honestly say just head to FB right now and delete them. There's a good chance they won't notice tbh. I've never noticed someone specific deleting me until I go to creep on them then it's like 'oh, okay' and I move on. These people aren't worth your time. They are taking up way too much of your brain. Get rid of them. Nothing is permanent, you can always add them again later if things are repaired. There's honestly no point making yourself feel this way over something with a quick fix. I bet once you hit delete you'll feel better.

GO DO IT, YOU CAN HANDLE THIS

(your username seems somehow ironic given the content of your post! ;))

Have to admit I somewhat lost track of exactly Who Did What amongst all the he/she pronouns, but tl;dr version some people treated you like crap and thus you no longer want them as 'friends' on your various online media, yes?

Just block/delete them. No need to talk to them, or their friends, about it beforehand - no matter how much you might want the satisfaction of having your say about how badly they treated you, it would almost certainly stir up more trouble/stress than it's worth.

If any of them do try to stir anything after you have blocked them, then would be the time to put forth your side of things - but don't get dragged into any prolonged drama. Just a brief, "I don't want to talk to [you/them] any more because of X/Y/Z" and once this is stated, refuse to discuss it further. They may well act innocent/outraged at your 'unfairness' or whatever, but try and avoid getting dragged down to their level of wallowing in petty drama on the internet. Obviously they enjoy that sort of thing, whereas you don't, so it's like a victory for them. The best thing to do with toxic people is just to quietly, firmly, cut them out of your life where possible.

Although you should always take into consideration that even if/when you have successfully blocked them all off everywhere, there are still ways round this... sites mess up and leak things, or mutual friends/acquaintances, innocently or otherwise, may still let word of anything you post get back to your ex-friends. Nothing on the internet is really private.

And if someone is acting badly enough that you feel threatened - keep logs of everything, always. Proof is always important.

The reason I don't is, as I say in my post, talking to my old friends gets me nowhere. The last time I tried to bring up shit with my first friend, I basically got told that everything was fine and was the same since before the whole drama llamaz happened (Which I wasn't.) At this point, I'm just trying to work out what deleting them all would do.

At this point I'm just weary of the whole thing. Sure I miss talking to ( at least ) my female old best friend, but I don't see a point now that anything I do is going to help. She's firmly wrapped around her friend who was committed to telling the whole world how much of a slut and a cheater I was, and I don't want to really associate with that. If she came back an apologised I'd probably take her back, but given that I haven't seen her nasty friend in game (since my boyfriend still has him added) for a while and she still doesn't talk to me suggests that they're still close despite it.

I mostly keep facebook for my R/L friends who I don't talk to often but are still close with. Just so if they're all doing a meet up and stuff like that they know how to find me. Aside from that, it lies empty apart from a friend of mine who likes to spam pandas to make me squeal. xD (I actually play both sides! But I'd honestly consider myself more Alliance than Horde these days.) It sucks what happened, but I'm kinda glad from it? I mean, I'm still stressed over it a little, but I have a whole bunch of new friends who look out for me and have been so understanding and caring of my situation. It's been wonderful.

I don't think the girlfriend of my creepy friend would notice much if I deleted her, only if he was using her to get information about what I was up too. My concern is she's good friends with others in my social circle, so if she DID there's a chance they might want to know why I got rid of her. She seems like an okay sort of girl, but dlkjklfjds. The other I have to delete her from within the game and she goes on at least once or twice a week, and I know she'd notice because I have her on the game and Skype. While it doesn't scream that I've gotten rid of her, I'm sure she'd catch the lack of my name quick enough.

, & I'm thinking of just going up with the straight deletion, tbh. I've got my boyfriend who plans on keeping them on for a few weeks after I get rid of them just to make sure that nothing is said or done that could potentially be harmful to me, but after that he says he'll get rid of them too. His biggest complaint is that they thought they were on his side through this whole ordeal and they were telling him to get rid of me. xD; Needless to say, he wasn't pleased.

LOL. Yes it is. <3 I'm sorry! I tried to make it as clear as possible, but I don't think I really achieved that, haha. But basically that's the gist of it, yeah. Mm. I had to re block my creepy friend after her got a new Facebook purely because I don't want to associate with him. He hasn't tried to openly talk to me, but after the threat he made to my boyfriend I'm just not comfortable with him having potential links to me. I'm more than happy to file a harassment report if he tries to catch me in game. I just want there to be a limit on how much he knows and I worry that his girlfriend, because she has me added, could possibly leak things about how I'm doing and who I'm with. That just rubs me the wrong way completely.

I'm glad you're planning no just straight-up deleting them, that by far seems like the best option. Shit-talking afterwards probably will ensue, but it's best for your BF to just ignore it as well, even if he is hurt by it. It sounds like you can't win with these people so just leave them being angry and miserable while you are set free.

I hope everything works out for the best! You will make new friends eventually who are much kinder than them (:

WOW drama is awful. I've found when I've gotten all emotionally involved with people in game, it's no longer worth playing. At that point, it's best to take a breather and delete/ignore them in game. It's usually impossible to repair bridges in game. Move servers if you can afford it. As far as facebook, same deal - delete and block.

Aside from these couple of people on my server, the rest are actually some of the most amazing and loveliest people I've ever come across. <3 My story is faaaairly well known around the circles, but not so much my character name (thank goodness). But most sympathize with my side and, when they do find out it's me, they're really understanding and look out for me in case drama causing people come back. So far so good. But I deleted all of the trash yesterday and it was honestly the best feeling I've had in a LONG time. I haven't blocked them (yet) in case they try to re-add or talk to me about the deletion (and, as long as they're not rude, I'll answer questions and be nice about it) but I doubt they'll be back on my list. I didn't say anything to them either, and I'm actually really proud of that. We'll see what happens. Most of my other friends are pleased I finally got the courage, haha.